


Misdirected Anger

by RunRoses



Category: Teenage Bounty Hunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Slow Burn, stepril - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:49:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 56,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26282206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunRoses/pseuds/RunRoses
Summary: In the aftermath of the kidnapping, the Wesley family, and each of the girls' relationships have been shot to hell. Now that the web of lies is coming unraveled, can love be found in the truth?
Relationships: April Stevens/Sterling Wesley, Blair Wesley & Sterling Wesley, Luke Creswell & Sterling Wesley
Comments: 255
Kudos: 639





	1. Lonely Weekend

**Author's Note:**

> This show has sent me into a dead-ass tailspin, and I cannot leave this shit unresolved.  
> I've never written anything really ever, so I am very receptive to comments.

“Are you ready yet?” Blair asked. Her eyes were closed, and she was in a full cobra pose on Sterling’s bed.

“Why does going to school today feel, like, way worse than when Luke and I were outed?” Sterling asked as she sat in front of the mirror preening things that didn’t need to be preened.

“We only missed one day of school. You’re so dramatic. It won’t be that bad,” Blair answered slowly.

“I’m dramatic?” Sterling swiveled away from the mirror. “You’re the one who thought a substitute teacher was haunting you!”

Blair snapped out of her yoga pose, “Hey, I was right about mom, so you don’t get to minimize my suspicions any more Sterl! I was so close to achieving enlightenment there, you really messed up my whole vibe.”

Sterling cringed a little at the mention of her mother…or aunt. The family had taken the weekend and even played hooky on Monday to talk through everything. There were tears, hugs, and a fair share of frozen yogurts, but Blair and Sterling had decided between them that they were sisters no matter what the biology of the situation dictated. After unraveling all of the lies, learning to trust their parents again was a whole different story. They were giving it time for now, but things were still a little awkward.

“What are you doing yoga for anyway? I kind of miss having you bounce off the walls…”

Blair stared at the ceiling. “I’m trying to chill the fuck out Sterl. Do you realize how embarrassing it is to barge in on a dinner with a state senator? Pair that with the whole rejection thing, and it’s a wonder I can even sleep at night.” Blair’s eyes grew a little misty. It was the closest she’d come to really dealing with losing Miles. With all of the family drama going on, the girls barely had time to process their respective breakups.

Sterling flopped down on the bed next to her sister, grabbing her hand, “Hey, well I’m here. I’m always here. I think yoga is a great idea. And look at the bright side…” she soldiered on despite Blair’s withering look, “…at least you don’t have to see him at school.” Sterling didn’t even want to think about seeing April at Willingham again, or Luke for that matter. Even though she’d gotten a new phone, it was radio silence from both of them. How was she supposed to act? She was sweating just thinking about it.

Blair’s face softened, “You’ve got me there.”

“Okay, can I drive?”

Blair cracked a devious smile, “You’ve got more ex’s than O’s at that school. The least you can do is show up playing your own music.”

“Can I take it back? I think quiet-yoga-Blair was much better.”

Blair playfully shoved Sterling and they both got up and straightened out their uniforms.

“So, we can do this, right Sterl? Let’s just play dumb, we don’t know anything, everything’s totally cool, right?”

“Right.”

-

The girls walked into school side-by-side, their eyes darting to gauge the reactions of their peers. They were involved in a shootout over the weekend, and who knows what local police blotter had written an article on it. The last thing they wanted was the Fellowship group to catch wind of it and lead some kind of group prayer for the disgraced Wesley family.

Unlike when Sterling was caught at a college party, nobody came up and asked for her testimony. Blair was shocked, “Dude, I don’t think anybody knows,” she whispered out of the side of her mouth.

“How did we get away with this?” Sterling whispered back.

“See, I told you you were overreacting!”

They reached their lockers and started gathering their things for class when they felt a presence behind them. Several presences to be exact. Blair turned around first, her face turning into a snarl, “Oh I thought it felt frigid in here.”

Sterling turned to see April flanked by Ezekiel, Hannah B, and a new addition, Luke. She froze. It felt like the floor dropped out from under her. She thought she might be sick. Luke conveniently seemed very interested in something off in the distance.

“Homework,” April snapped her fingers and pointed at each Wesley girl, and suddenly folders with assignments were thrust at Sterling and Blair by Ezekiel and Hannah B. They took the folders as Sterling tried to catch April’s eye, but they didn’t stray an inch from Blair.

“Bitch,” Blair snapped her fingers and pointed at April, but there was no retort forthcoming. Her face remained impassive as she swept away, minions in tow. Luke chanced a glance back at Sterling, but quickly looked ahead again when she saw him do it.

Blair shrugged at Sterling, “That was fucking weird. April never takes it on the chin like that.” She noticed that Sterling’s face was all red and splotchy, like she might explode if she didn’t cry. “Hey hey hey, it’s alright. You were over Luke anyway, and he could never hate you. April probably won’t cross lines because she’s scared we’ll out her or something. Ugh, as-if! You’re okay. Focus on your breathing.”

Sterling breathed slowly and steadily. There were just so many questions that needed answering. She was hoping that she and April could at least be friendly if they couldn’t be together, but this seemed unbearable. She didn’t think it could get worse than constantly having thinly veiled insults thrown at her. For that short time, April had been Sterling’s whole world, and with a jolt Sterling realized something terrible: the worst thing April Stevens could do to her was act like she meant nothing at all. This was a punishment. April must know something, but which something?

Blair offered her some water and rubbed circles on her back. It really helped Sterling to focus on that instead. “We just need to figure out who knows what secrets and we’ll be fine,” Sterling whispered.

Blair was relieved to see Sterling calm enough to speak again, “Let’s commandeer Bowser’s corkboard with yarn, we can do this.”

“Okay, but only if Lil’ Kim’s cardboard cutout is there to help,” Sterling giggled.


	2. High Horse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you believe me if I told you that my EXTRA ass actually sent this exact text to an ex of mine? We love to see it.  
> I'm flying by the seat of my pants here, so pop off in the comments with suggestions. These fics are giving me life.  
> Thanks for reading!

After three cups of frozen yogurt, and another few cups of just toppings, Sterling and Blair had figured out the web of lies well into the night. They had to anyway, Bowser had officially flagged their sugar intake.

“Blair, do we have to keep calling it the web of lies?” Sterling whined. “I don’t think Jesus would be very cool with the whole concept, you know? How about the web of truth?”

“We’re organizing our story here, not brainstorming a Spider-Man movie,” Blair scoffed, “Call it whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Bowser laughed from the corner, “At least I’ve got my story straight. I’m just an ex-cop who hired two teenagers to work in my yogurt shop.”

Blair rounded on him with concern on her face, “Do you really think our parents bought that? Like, you did just show up out of nowhere with some pretty crazy skills.”

“Yolanda and I talked to them together. I think they were just grateful for the help. They have no reason to suspect you girls,” he soothed, rising from his desk with a big yawn and a stretch. “I’m calling it a night. Listen, I’m glad you both seem alright after all of that, uh, family stuff. You need anything, you call. Hopefully, we’ll get some new skips soon.”

A devious smile slowly spread across Blair’s face, “You mean we’re not fired after all?”

Bowser couldn’t help but smile ruefully back, “Don’t you go making me regret this now.”

Blair rolled off of the couch into a combat crouch with finger guns, “Booyah baby! We’re back at it!” Sterling jumped up and started doing the running man.

Bowser mumbled something about already regretting it and headed out, throwing the keys on the desk so the twins could lock up. They both plopped back down on the couch and deflated a bit.

“Now that he’s gone, can we puh-lease talk about April? I’m dying over here!” Sterling groaned.

“How ready are you for this? I really thought about it. There are three possibilities. Are you ready?”

Sterling clapped excitedly, urging Blair to continue.

“One: she’s just not that into you.”

Sterling poorly imitated a gameshow buzzer, “False, she told me she missed my smell. That’s, like, some serious romantic comedy level love there.”

“Weird flex, but moving on,” Blair smirked. “Two: she knows that you kissed Luke right after the breakup.”

Sterling’s face dropped. She had to admit that it was possible.

“Three: Her dad told her that we were the ones that caught him,” Blair said softly, “And honestly Sterl, I’m not sure how you two could bounce back from that.”

Whatever air was left in Sterling’s lungs quickly made its escape. “I think deep down, I knew these were the only options. What do we do?”

“I’m not sure, this could get bad. April could try blackmail, or Mr. Stevens could really hurt us or something. We need to figure out what she knows.”

“Blair, I mean, I don’t think April would blackmail us. We have way more dirt on her than she has on us. We’re like, a fancy mud facial, and she’d be six feet under.”

“Yeah, as evil as I think she still is,” Blair shot a meaningful look at Sterling, “I don’t think that’s a smart play for her. Let’s keep an ear on the rumor mill and see if we can find out.”

Sterling nodded. She thought she could lay back for a bit and see what the rumor mill churned up. “Speaking of listening, have you heard from Miles at all?”

Blair’s face fell a bit, “He texted me today actually, and said he was sorry for everything, blah blah blah. I accepted. I guess it just feels done. I can’t be anyone’s secret.”

Sterling gave her twin’s arm a comforting squeeze as she fought back tears. Being someone’s secret was the worst feeling ever. “I totally get it.”

“Have you heard from April at all, like, outside of the silent treatment?” Blair asked, but Sterling was shaking her head before she could even finish. She didn’t have the courage to admit that she’d sent a message the moment her new phone had been activated. It was mortifying really, not the sentiment, but the fact that it had been left on read for four days.

“Was any of it real for you?”

-

Sterling’s first interaction with April that Tuesday had taken her completely by surprise. Now that she’d had some time to process the shock, Sterling spent the rest of the week vacillating between despair and some kind of horrid unquenchable rage.

Each day she had to sit behind her in Spanish, next to her in Bible study, and near her in Fellowship, not to mention the occasional passing in the halls. April never once looked her in the eye, even when it was outright rude not to do so. There used to be an energy between them, a hyperawareness of each other’s presence. It was enough to raise the hairs on their arms. Now it felt like Sterling was knocking at the door, but nobody was home to answer it. Sterling was conscious of every breath she took in the spaces she got to share with April. They occasionally shared air, and it was all she had left to hold on to.

How did their relationship become so acrimonious so quickly? She could recall with perfect clarity the soft look in April’s eyes after she’d locked the door of Ellen’s office and kissed her back. She could still feel the desperate need for friction that they’d shared in the back seat of the Volt. Now she was stuck sitting in pre-calc lightly touching her own maxilla in an attempt to scare up an ounce of a memory. This was pathetic.

If April wanted to break up, couldn’t she have just called before the lock-in? Flirting with Luke in front of her was cruel beyond measure. It didn’t make any sense to Sterling that someone so measured and articulate couldn’t convey her own basic needs in a relationship, or fling, or whatever that was. Her blood boiled just turning these questions over in her head.

After a whole week, the rumor mill hadn’t yielded any information about what April knew. Whatever it was, she was keeping it close to her chest. No, Sterling couldn’t wait anymore to hear some watered-down version of the truth. She had to get answers now.

Thank the heavens Blair was in this pre-calc class with Sterling because she hadn’t taken a single note the whole time. Sterling turned around in her chair and caught Blair’s eye for a twin moment, “I can’t wait for gossip to figure all this out. I’m going freaking crazy over here!”

“You’re not kidding Sterl, I think Gnarls Barkley wrote that song about you sitting in this very class…”

“Very funny,” she rolled her eyes, “I’m being serious!”

“Alright ‘Sister Sister’ what’s the plan? Can we tie her up in a closet? The symbolism would be delicious.”

“Blair…”

“Should I bring my lacrosse stick? She and her dad can have matching shin bruises!” Blair already had her game face on.

“Blair!”

“Okay! What do you need?”

“I need help cornering her. She won’t come quietly.”

“You would know…” Blair wiggled her eyebrows.

“Good lord, can I live please? It’s not always the right time for those jokes.”

“The right time…” Blair paused for a beat. “The right time! That’s it Sterl! April has her Young Republicans meetings on Tuesdays. Who knew bigotry could be useful?”

“Wait, that’s perfect! Okay you keep taking notes, and I’ll come up with a plan.”

Now that Sterling thought about it, April’s cronies weren’t as intolerant as she thought. Hannah B always conveniently scheduled her guitar practices during Young Republicans meetings, and the questionably oriented Ezekiel would always kid that he couldn’t be ‘right’ all the time. If this was by design, maybe April chose these…allies strategically.

Once class let out, the girls were deep in the planning stages. It wouldn’t be easy to trap another Stevens. Their heads were so close together as they rounded the corner of the hall that they walked directly into Luke. As they all bent down to pick up their belongings, the awkwardness of the encounter sunk in.

“Hey Sterl, I’m uh, I’m sorry. I should’ve been looking. Not that I, uh, should’ve been looking at you, but like, you know. Not that I shouldn’t have been looking either. Just like a general looking out…” Hearing Luke speak was like watching Chloe try to eat peanut butter.

It was the first time they’d been able to talk to Luke since the lock-in. Blair cut through the crap, “Dude, what’s your deal? So, you’re like, with April now?”

Luke took a deep breath, “Well no, but maybe? I don’t know.” He looked at Sterling, “After you and me talked about it at the lock-in, I kind of figured ‘why not?’ and asked her out. But she’s got, like, a ton of stuff going on with her dad, so it was more like a maybe-ish situation…” He handed the last of the papers back to Sterling. “You didn’t text me or anything after that, so I just hope, like, we’re cool. Are we cool?” He pulled at his collar, “Is it hot in here?”

Blair shot Sterling a loaded glance. This was hot gossip.

Sterling was secretly relieved to not have to deal with the aftermath of that teary desperate kiss. She put her hand on Luke’s arm, “Hey, we’re totally cool. I mean, if it’s not too weird, could we be friends?”

“Friends,” he sighed with relief as he looked at the two girls, “That would be great.”

“Bros,” Blair corrected, and she fist-bumped him. Sterling gave him a quick hug just as the bell rang, and they mumbled their goodbyes on the fly.

-

The Young Republicans meeting ran late, and Sterling was getting jumpy having to wait for everything to unfold. She just hoped desperately that she and April could come to some kind of peace. Anything was better than the agony of being completely ignored. She hoped that this new low was just a result of her stupid kiss with Luke. That could totally be explained, right? She was about to panic when her phone buzzed with a text from Blair, “Game on.”

As the twins had predicted, April had done the absolute most and brought fresh chicken biscuits for the club, which meant she was now stuck cleaning up the mess alone. As she exited the room to head out, she found her usual way out blocked. Blair had asked some of her lacrosse teammates to do passing drills as a light warm-up in the hall. April rolled her eyes and stomped off in the other direction. Just as planned, there was only one other hallway left as an option, and this one was very much empty, or so April thought. While she power walked by the janitor’s closet, her feet were cut out from under her and she suddenly found herself flat on her back with Blair Wesley staring down at her. Before she could fully process it, the feisty twin had yanked her by the arm and slid her into the dark closet, slamming the door shut behind her. Blair’s muffled voice carried through the closed door with a cackle, “Now we’re even…Stevens.”

April quickly picked herself up off of the floor to find the door locked. She dusted off her heinous orange sweater vest while hitting the light switch with a sigh. The sudden jingling of keys behind her startled her so badly that she visibly jumped back into the door with her hands up in front of her.

“I told her not to use a corny crime show line. And, well, also not to get violent, but we see how that worked out,” Sterling spoke quietly.

As she lowered her hands, April’s face was like a rapid-fire slideshow of emotions: fury, embarrassment, fear, indignation, and concern. She straightened out her clothes, drew herself up to her full height, and finally looked Sterling in the eye. There was only one emotion written across her face now: disgust.


	3. Step Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally had a Jimmy Neutron level brain blast last night and outlined the whole rest of this story. I am so goddamned excited for y'all to read it.  
> I pretty much snort any new stories posted, so shout-out to the other contributors in this community.  
> I should be doing my homework, but here we are. Too blessed to be stressed.  
> Thanks for reading!

Sterling withered under April’s piercing gaze. Even though this was her plan, she suddenly felt like April had all of the control. It was the condom wrapper all over again.

“You’re angry,” Sterling breathed. It wasn’t a question. “Not just about this whole closet trap, but at me, about something else.” It was so difficult to get each word out. Every nerve Sterling had was completely wired, like the slightest breeze could blow her over. April didn’t move to speak, so Sterling continued, “Listen, it was wrong of me to pressure you to be out with me before you were ready. That’s not okay, and I’m sorry for that. I guess I was hoping that, like, even though things with us didn’t work out, we could still be friends…” Sterling hesitated when she saw how impassive April’s face was, “Friendly?” it was slowly turning into a snarl, “Acquaintances?“

April’s hands clenched and unclenched, as though her tiny body couldn’t contain all of her fury. “How _dare_ you,” her voice was scarcely above a whisper, but the ferocity of her words hit Sterling like a shockwave. April pushed herself from the door until she was just a few feet away. Her flawless diction was menacing, “I told you to stay away from my family.”

Sterling could feel the blood drain out of her face as her whole world seemed to fall out of focus. This was the worst-case scenario. April knew. She knew about her dad’s arrest; she knew that the Wesley twins were responsible for it. She knew that Sterling had lied by omission. Tears burned behind her eyes, and she could barely rasp out the next few words, “What did he tell you?”

Sensing she had the upper hand, April took advantage of Sterling’s state of discomfit, “The truth, unlike you. I thought it was bad when he lied about his guilt. You asked me how I was feeling about it. You asked if I was still speaking to him. You pretended to care. All of this is your _fucking_ fault.” April enunciated the curse, so each letter burned Sterling like a cattle brand. Tears welled in her eyes as she continued, “And you had the gall to ask _me_ if what we had was real?”

Sterling let out a strangled sob. She buried her hands in her hair and slid down the maintenance cabinet until her head rested on her knees. All sense of decorum was long gone as April towered over Sterling’s crumpled form. “I let you…touch me,” she whispered, choking on those last two words. Sterling’s stomach turned as though it rejected the very idea that April would regret their time together, would question every touch, every taste.

Abruptly, April spun back towards the door and whacked her closed fist against the frame in futility, her long brown hair flaying out at the motion. Sterling had never seen April lose the careful control she worked so hard to maintain. She realized that she may never get another chance to explain herself to this girl she might love.

Taking deep gulps of air, she gradually lifted her head and tried to calm down enough to speak. Wiping her eyes and nose on the sleeve of her button-down, she picked herself up off of the floor. “It was never pretend for me,” Sterling sniffed, “It was everything.”

April wiped her tears away and slowly turned to face her again. The pleading look in her eyes reminded Sterling of their last night together, and the words ‘convince me’ echoed in her mind. This might be her last chance to do so.

“It was, or I guess still is, my job - our job,” her shoulders sunk with the weight of her admission, “Blair and I sometimes help our Yogurtopia manager catch fugitives. It’s his side business.” April’s eyebrows furrowed as though she were deciding what to believe. Sterling’s voice grew stronger, “I know this is super random, and definitely a lot to process. I’m not even supposed to tell anyone,” Sterling dabbed at her red eyes again with her sleeve just for something to do. “I…I just need you to know that it wasn’t personal,” she concluded, “I barely knew you then.”

At that, April closed her eyes and turned her head away from Sterling, her composure returning, “If you honestly believe it wasn’t personal at that point, then you never really knew me at all.” The sentence hit Sterling like a blow to the chest, and she could sense that her time here was waning. They couldn’t stay locked in a closet forever.

Sterling stepped closer to the girl but didn’t dare touch her, “I am so sorry April. Please, your father is dangerous, and we’re scared he might try to retaliate or something.”

April brought her eyes up to meet Sterling’s once more, and for a moment Sterling saw genuine concern in the girl’s expression. The air grew thick like gravity had just doubled. Sterling was rooted to the spot: the hairs on her arms raised in frisson. As though hypnotized, April’s right hand slowly lifted until it was just inches from Sterling’s cheek. Abruptly, she seemed to snap out of it, and her hand twitched away from Sterling until her palm was facing up, silently asking for the keys.

Sterling dropped them into her palm without protest, and April swiftly strode to the door to unlock it. The breeze of her passing brought her scent to Sterling’s nose, and she couldn’t help but indulge herself by leaning into it. April paused in the doorway with her hand on the knob and looked back at Sterling with an indecipherable expression. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but shut it just as quickly, her trademark stoic façade returning to the fore. She swept out of the room.

Their confrontation replayed in Sterling’s head for the rest of the day like a haunting hymnal refrain, ‘…then you never really knew me at all.’ She remembered when intentionally forgetting her water bottle was the most exciting part of her school day and sighed. Back then she’d asked April if their chemistry had always been there and was just paralyzed or something. She’d taken April’s silence for hesitation at the idea of coming out, but maybe it was more than that. Sterling had to consider the possibility that maybe, for April, their chemistry hadn’t ever been paralyzed at all.

-

Sterling recounted the full details of the interaction to Blair as soon as the brunette twin got home from lacrosse practice.

“You’re telling me that April, April Stevens, punched a wall?” Blair asked incredulously.

“Technically it was a door, but…semantics.”

“She’s snapped. You broke her Sterl. God, I really thought I would enjoy this moment more. Why’d you have to get involved with her? Now I can’t bask in it.”

“This is so not the reaction I need right now.” Sterling’s eyes seemed to be constantly watery these days.

“I’m sorry, you’re right,” Blair let out a deep breath as a regretful expression settled on her face. “Let’s stew on this for a quick minute.” The twins lay on Blair’s bed staring at the ceiling, a new favorite past-time of theirs apparently. Time ticked by as Blair repeatedly tossed a lacrosse ball into the air above her head.

Sterling cleared her throat, “I was thinking, I wonder if Mr. Stevens knows we are actual bounty hunters. Well, not legal ones, but you know what I mean. He might’ve just thought we helped Bowser out one time.”

“Huh,” Blair considered this, “I mean, does it change anything? He still probably wishes we were dead.”

“I just had to tell April the whole story. I hope you don’t hate me. I thought…I don’t know. I guess I just hoped that maybe if she knew we regularly pistol-whipped middle-aged men, she wouldn’t take it so personally that her dad was, like, one of them.”

Blair caught the ball with a smack sound and turned to look at Sterling. Her right eyebrow was so high with judgement that it almost reached her hairline, “Jeez Sterl, you’ve got it bad.” She resumed tossing the ball, “It might actually be a good thing though, so no hate…yet. Check it out, maybe if April tells Mr. Stevens, he’ll think we have a team or something. He won’t want to take us on if we’re part of some kind of criminal justice group thing.”

Sterling blinked a few times as she processed this. “That’s actually a good point you little derp,” she smirked and poked her twin in the ribs. Blair abandoned her ball and soon they were in a poke war. It felt good to laugh again, even though there wasn’t much left to laugh about.

-

The Georgia days passed slowly in a comfortingly familiar pattern of school, church, and homework. The twins didn’t know what to expect from April going forward. They didn’t think she’d get violent, but they avoided lockable closets, just to be safe.

They felt a little extra secure now that Luke sporadically joined them in the halls again. Sterling especially, felt very lucky to have maintained this friendship. She was even tutoring him in Spanish after school, and it was only mildly awkward. After a few sessions in study hall, she really thought his conversational skills had improved enough to pass the midterm, or at least satisfy the desperate itch she had to hear about April.

“¿Carlos, qué pasa con April?” Sterling asked, betraying her casual tone by leaning across the desk with interest.

“¿April? ¿Te refieres a _Abril_?” Luke chuckled at the fake Spanish names they were supposed to be assigned, as his eyes wandered around the room, “That’s uh…that’s a weird one.”

Sterling jolted a bit at Luke’s use of the word weird, “What’s going on, like, are you two still dating?”

“Honestly Sterl, we never really were. It was a ‘maybe’ after the lock-in, I think I told you that part, right?” Sterling nodded impatiently in response. Luke continued, “A little ways back she just said it wasn’t right, so it never, uh, happened.”

“Wait, what wasn’t right?” Sterling struggled to keep her facial expression neutral. She was hooked on every word. “Sorry, if this is too like, much, we can totally talk about something else…”

Luke scratched his head and grimaced a bit, “No no. It’s, uh, fine. She said something about not wanting to make drama for, well, us. Like, it would hurt your feelings, since y’all two don’t get along.” Sterling’s mouth fell open in sheer disbelief before she could control her emotions, and Luke chuckled nervously. “I told you you’d be surprised. People change, Sterl.”

Sterling tried to wrap her head around this news. April had cut Luke free of her band of loyal followers, seemingly just so he could hang out with Sterling and Blair again. Sterling was shocked that April would mention her at all. She figured the safest bet for April’s closet was to say there was someone else, or just continue to blame her very real family issues. No, this was a chess-level move. April was sacrificing a pawn to the other side, Sterling realized, but to what end? Strategy aside, she was grateful that Luke had passed the message along.

“I know this is, like, cornbread levels of corny, but I’m really glad we’re still friends Luke.” Sterling hoped she could express this without him reading too much into it.

Luke smiled warmly at her, tapped the desk a few times with his pencil, and cleared his throat, “Me too... So Carolina, ¿cuando es el examen?”


	4. Follow Your Arrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I be doing homework? Yes. Am I? No.  
> Am I constantly refreshing AO3 for TBH content? Yes.
> 
> Hoping to manifest a season two with this attempted abridged version.  
> Sound off in the comments! They fuel me.  
> Thanks for reading!

The twins were each perched on the couch in Bowser’s office with empty yogurt cups in their laps, struggling to keep from cracking up as they stared almost cross-eyed up at their own foreheads. Blair flicked her head up suddenly, and the quarter resting on her visor flew in the air. With a _plunk_ the quarter landed right in her cup, and she jumped up with her hands in the air like she’d just won Olympic gold. The cup went flying and rolled over to the foot of Bowser’s chair, who raised an eyebrow before returning his attention to the computer.

Sterling, however, looked mildly disappointed, “Gosh darn it! I really thought I could win that one…”

Blair looked smug. “No way, you’re gonna have to get more creative than that to win back a week of laundry duty.”

“I don’t think ‘The Rock’ over there with his eyebrow judgements is going to be too happy with a double or nothing.”

Bowser looked over, “You saying I look like Dwayne Johnson? I’ll take it.”

“What’ll you take?” Yolanda asked as she arrived in the doorway of the office with a thick folder in tow.

“Whatever you’re offering,” Bowser retorted, betraying his suave comment by dropping his pen. The twins looked at each other with their lips pursed in surprise.

Yolanda pretended not to notice the fumble, but the amusement in her eyes gave her away, “I’m offering you a skip, a young one too. He’s only 18.” That caught everyone’s attention. “I don’t have much information on him to be honest. He doesn’t seem to have any socials, so he’s figured that much out at least. At that age, we suspect he’s crashing with a friend.”

“What’s the name?” Bowser asked.

“Thomas Jackson,” Yolanda shot back.

“We’re arresting a _general_?” Sterling exclaimed, “This is new!”

“Not just any general but Stonewall himself. What a prick!” Blair chimed in.

“A general? What are you two on about now?” Bowser asked in exasperation.

Yolanda laughed, “I’ve got to hand it to you chicas, you are dedicated to your bullshit. Bowser, he was a general in the Civil War, the bad side, and these two are right,” she gestured to the twins, “He was a prick.”

“Okay, but this has nothing to do with an 18-year-old kid,” Bowser noted, “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

At that Yolanda pulled out a full-page glossy photo of the skip and teased it to the room like she was Vanna White presenting a vowel.

“HOT! He’s hot!” Sterling exclaimed suddenly, “How could you not lead with this?” Yolanda cackled as she walked behind Bowser’s desk to hunt for a pushpin.

Blair put her wrists out with a mischievous smile, “I’m with the Union, could he capture me?” Bowser squirmed, either from the direction the conversation had taken, or from Yolanda’s proximity as she leaned over to pin the photo up on the cork board.

“That might be a little too kinky…even for you Blair,” Sterling laughed.

“Don’t kink shame –“ Blair started to protest, but Bowser cut her off.

“I do _not_ need this,” he pointed to Blair’s wrists which were still ready to be captured by Confederates, “from you,” he waggled his finger between the girls. Blair groaned at the admonishment, and sunk back into her seat, pulling her phone out with sudden focus.

Yolanda perched herself on the arm of the couch, “You guys still need a lead here though. I have his parent’s address, and it’s local, but Terrance already checked there.”

“Why you gotta bring Terrance in on this?” Bowser prickled.

“More like, why do I gotta bring _you_ in on this? Terrance hasn’t caught shit in weeks.” Yolanda corrected. Bowser’s face softened a bit, and the two kept up their biting but flirty exchange for a few minutes before Blair interrupted.

“Got him,” she announced calmly, “On Tinder no less,” holding up her phone to show the profile. Yolanda and Bowser looked dumbfounded.

“Oooh nice shirtless pic!” Sterling chimed in.

“I really don’t get you young folks. What’s a Tinder? What do we do now?” Bowser asked.

“Easy,” Blair’s devious smile returned, “We see if he wants to play a little ‘Prisoner of War’…”

Two days of messaging later, and the girls were ready to enact the plan. Blair was exhausted from the pretense, claiming that texting someone who didn’t understand the proper use of apostrophes was, “the woooorst.” Eventually he agreed to ‘hang out’ with her, whatever the hell that meant. She just needed to be sure that she was the one in control.

After pulling up to a pizza place to meet the world’s hottest teenage criminal, Blair leaned against the side of the Volt to wait for him. Seeing him approach her car, she tried her best to look calm, and they greeted each other with a light hug.

“I’m so glad we could meet up,” she purred, “You look even better than your pictures.” She grabbed one of his hands lightly in one of hers and looked into his eyes. In an instant, the whole scene changed.

Blair dropped swiftly into a sweep kick and simultaneously jammed on the trunk release button of the Volt. The skip landed flat on his back, but before he could even start crawling away, Sterling was freshly out of the trunk pointing her Mossberg 500 in his face.

“Y’all, this ain’t cool,” the unfortunately-named young guy said with his hands up in front of him.

“Turns out, neither is breaking and entering,” Blair retorted with a huff as she tightened zip ties around his wrists and legs.

“And unfortunately for you dude, neither are my feet. That trunk was like an oven Blair, good Lord!” Sterling was hopping on one foot trying to take her shoe off. Before he could put two and two together, she stuffed both of her socks into his mouth and duct-taped it shut.

It was a nice clear night, a great night to have a high-paying catch in the back seat. The twins stopped at Chick-fil-A on their way to Bowser’s office and Blair sipped her sweet tea pensively. This could really be a calling for her, she thought. She could be a true trap-queen. She’d had more fun planning and executing this capture than she ever had hanging out with Miles, or Jennings, and this fun _paid_. For the first time ever, she wished she didn’t have to keep this part of her life a secret. Sterling noticed her saturnine demeanor, “What’s cooking good looking?” she asked gently.

“I really love this Sterl. Bounty hunting, I mean. I think it might really be my thing.”

“You are seriously so so good at it. The ideas you come up with, it’s like you can track anyone down,” Sterling encouraged, “Why so ‘blah’ though?”

“I just wish Mom and Dad could be proud of us too, you know? I think they would be.”

“Hmm, in concept maybe…I’m sorry, I wish we could tell them too, especially since our long weekend of family secrets. It’s like I can feel God judging me for that,” Sterling admitted, glancing out of the window at the stars.

“Me too.”

“We can wait until we’re 18 and get licensed ourselves…But can I tell you something else?” Sterling asked gently. Blair nodded silently, waiting for Sterling to continue. “You seem so happy doing this, and if it’s not weird to say, I think you should, like, chase that feeling, you know? Forget about boys for a while. Do you.”

“I think you might be right,” Blair smiled over at Sterling, and she gave her brightest grin right back. “God, I love you so much. You’re the light of my life. The flame to my candle.”

Sterling’s face softened, and then got oddly serious, “I’d give you _both_ of my kidneys.”

There was nothing left to do but drive and enjoy the mellow sounds of a Kacey Musgraves album, that is, until the sounds of the skip groaning in the backseat interrupted their peace.

“SHUT UP!” They screamed in unison and cranked up the volume.

-

Classes were going smoothly, and the twins had started to ponder which colleges they should tour. Obviously, they would both apply to the University of Georgia (Go Dawgs!), but there was a whole wide country out there, with people who thought and felt all kinds of different things. Sterling couldn’t help but consider schools based on the tolerance of the surrounding community. If there were ever a time to explore the blue, purple, and pink side of her spectrum, surely it was college. She couldn’t help but wonder where April would look to apply.

College could be their ‘maybe someday’ and Sterling enjoyed imagining it a little too much: she and April holding hands and walking to class together, dancing closely in dark fraternity basements, kissing each other against the walls of a dormitory. The surge of serotonin was addictive, but the reality of their relationship was depressing by contrast. April had settled into an uncomfortable avoidance with both Sterling and Blair. There was no more sniping, one-upping, or even ignoring. They spoke when manners dictated and nothing more. It was an uneasy truce.

It felt like the wound that April had cut into her heart had started to scab over. It was still sensitive, and sometimes ached, but it wasn’t actively bleeding anymore. On the contrary, Sterling couldn’t help but notice a strange deterioration in April as the days wore on. Perfectly smooth ponytails were gradually replaced with messy buns and her golden ring was increasingly missing from her ensemble.

One day she arrived at Bible study class with a faraway look in her eyes and half of her collar popped. Sterling shot Blair a look, and Blair rolled her eyes. As they walked to their next class Sterling couldn’t contain her curiosity, “Blair, don’t say I’m being crazy! April is losing it!”

She must’ve spoken too loudly because two interlopers leaned in from behind them, “Oh, you’re not crazy, hun. She is a straight-up mess,” Ezekiel smirked at Hannah B. before controlling his expression to one of concern.

The girls startled at the interruption. “Hello Ezekiel, Hannah B., what a beautiful morning we’re having,” Sterling managed to plaster a fake smile on her face. Ezekiel rolled his eyes at the pretense.

“Maybe instead of rolling your eyes you should be, I don’t know, making sure your friend is okay?” Blair was clearly annoyed at having to discuss April with two new interested parties.

“Sometimes it’s best to leave _Girl, Interrupted_ ,” he swirled his hand towards April who was loitering very distantly in front of them, “Uninterrupted.”

“Ezekiel, it’s rude to interrupt people anyway,” Hannah B. reminded him, and he let out an exasperated sigh.

“Y’all simply do _not_ have the range. Ta-ta,” he called over his shoulder, blowing past the twins with Hannah B. in his wake.

The twins were left looking at each other in sheer confusion, that is until Sterling noticed that the loitering April was staring at her, really staring. Sterling even looked behind her to make sure there wasn’t another intended target. Noticing this, Blair excused herself to Spanish class, promising to take extra notes.

Sterling was rooted to the spot, completely transfixed by April’s stare. What had started as a vacant gaze had melted into one with an edge of panic. Encouraged but wary, Sterling slowly sidled up to her as the hallways started to clear out. April looked like a caged animal, standing somewhere between fight and flight, so Sterling left enough space between them for her to choose either. They paused for a moment, searching each other’s faces for answers they certainly weren’t going to get in that hallway. As though fully realizing the weight of her actions, April slowly let out a breath she had been holding and ducked into the adjacent restroom. The bell rang and Sterling hesitated for a beat before sighing and following April inside.

April was standing at the far side of the room looking around nervously, her fingers twitching slightly like she was imagining typing out her thoughts. Sterling quickly peeked under the bathroom stalls before popping back up, “Don’t worry, we’re alo-“ she was interrupted by a short but strong force pinning her lips and her wrists against the wall. In her shock, Sterling almost forgot to enjoy how good it felt to kiss April Stevens. There was a feral edge to the way April’s lips moved, the way her teeth nipped, as though she were torn between consuming and destroying. Sterling felt the scab on her heart slowly get picked off with each second that their lips and bodies were pressed together, and it was all she could do to just hold on for whatever this was. Too soon, April pulled her lips away from Sterling’s and looked her in the eye with an uncertainty rarely shown.

“Tell me I’m making the right choice,” April whispered between breaths of air.

“April, I-“ Sterling’s head was spinning.

“Tell me I’m making the right choice,” April pleaded, her eyes frantic.

Sterling freed her wrists from April’s grasp against the wall, and gently took both of her hands instead. “You’re making the right choice.”


	5. Back On the Map

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey to you, and to yours. I'm out here typing away trying to write the fic I want to see in the world.  
> You know there's nothing more romantic than seeing a vision of your lover from across a campfire. Just ask gay French films. Read for the plot, stay for the Stepril content.  
> As always, thank you for reading. Comments and kudos send a straight shot of serotonin right into my soul.

Rather than wander into Spanish class late, Sterling moseyed over to the lunchroom and fixed herself a blend of hot chocolate and coffee. Her head was too clouded with what had just happened. After they’d completed that brief, cryptic exchange, April said she was leaving for the day, caressed Sterling’s cheek, and all but bolted from the room.

Sterling couldn’t help but put weight into the few words they did exchange. Her chest swelled at the thought that maybe April had changed her mind, and that they could be together now. If they were back together though, it didn’t make much sense for April to literally flee school grounds without explanation. That kiss told another story. It was almost rabid in its desperation, and Sterling squirmed nervously just thinking about something so prurient in public. Maybe it was time she had a little faith. April Stevens never did anything by accident.

Just when she had decided on hoping for the best, her phone pinged with an email notification. It was an access code for an encrypted chat application from someone named ‘TinyBluePoisonFrog’. She quickly downloaded the application and made an account named ‘SilverOne’. Her phone pinged with a new message almost immediately.

TinyBluePoisonFrog: _Go to class, and vote for the lake._

Of course April would find a way to be bossy remotely. Despite this, Sterling didn’t think her face could contain a smile so wide. She wasn’t quite sure where they stood, and she could tell from this weird application that April was worried about someone else finding this chat. What the heck was she talking about with the lake? Before Sterling could think of something to write back, her phone pinged again.

TinyBluePoisonFrog: _Trust me._

Sterling scrunched her eyebrows together at that one, because that was a big ask at this point. April hadn’t really ever proven herself to be very trustworthy, even when they were together. It felt transactional to consider, but Sterling remembered what she and Blair had talked about in terms of having dirt on each other. April was definitely in the worse spot here. Rather than write something she’d regret, or that April would deem too revealing for the secret chat, Sterling liked the message asking for her trust, and put her phone away. Considering her options for a moment, she strategically poured some of her drink down the front of her shirt, just enough, then topped off the cup, paid and walked to Spanish.

As Sterling entered the room, she could feel the judgmental eyes of everyone in the class turned in shock to see who would arrive to class a full fifteen minutes late. Señora O’Reilly had already turned to admonish the latecomer but stopped herself when she saw the state of Sterling’s shirt.

Sterling looked up innocently and delivered the line she’d planned en route, “Lo siento, Señora O’Reilly. Derramé café en mi camisa.”

“Aye, Carolina! ¿Te has quemado?”

“No, Señora. Estoy bien.” Sterling took her seat quickly but could still feel one pair of eyes drilling into the back of her head. She was able to turn around quickly to address Blair under the guise of getting a copy of the handout. Their eyes connected for a twin moment.

“Where is she, Sterling? I’ll kill her! Are you okay?” Blair was ready to kick down doors.

“April didn’t do this! It’s okay, I’m okay. _I_ did this, as a cover story,” Sterling waggled her eyebrows at her own cleverness.

Blair was taken aback, “Wow, um, I really thought I was gonna to get to throw hands. What happened then? April still isn’t here…”

“She said she was, like, cutting for the rest of the day, but honestly, she didn’t explain very much.”

“Then what were you two…no. No! Were you catching a finger in the bathroom!?” Blair was incredulous.

“In school? Come on Blair, get real!”

“In school?” Blair imitated Sterling poorly, “You literally got fingered in this school, like two months ago during the debate tournament. _Please_ check yourself with the Virgin Mary crap.”

Sterling pulled a face, “Ugh, fine. You win. It was just a kiss.” A hot kiss, with her wrists pinned to the wall, and their bodies touching. Sterling knew to spare Blair the gory details. “I’ll explain later, but I think it’s a good thing.”

“Hope so. It’s about time God threw us a bone,” Blair said, glancing at the ceiling in exasperation.

Sterling couldn’t agree more.

-

Sterling had almost forgotten about the Fellowship meeting after school. If Luke hadn’t stopped by her locker to offer to walk together, she probably would’ve just gone straight home. She quickly texted Blair to remind her as well, and soon the three of them were sitting on the couch in Fellowship together, not unlike they would have a few months ago.

“What’s this for anyways?” Blair asked aloud to the room.

“I think it’s a…fundraiser?” Luke offered, but his inflection didn’t guarantee much confidence. Even Ellen, who sat on the arm of the couch nibbling a Fig Newton bar, shrugged.

Ezekiel stood at the head of the group with Hannah B. and quieted the room. “The Fellowship lock-in was a fabulous success,” he announced, “and we’ve heard everyone say they had a very memorable evening.” He glanced around the room, leveling a particular gaze at the occupants of the couch on which Sterling and Blair sat. “Our Fellowship leader who, devastatingly, could not make it today, has suggested the idea of hosting another social event that reflects Jesus’s path on Earth.” He seemed to luxuriate in having the full attention of the room, but didn’t get to enjoy it long before Hannah B. chimed in.

“We were wondering, like, how open people would be to talking it out. Like, ideas, and activities…” Hannah B. trailed off into a world of her own design. 

Sensing a break in the action, Ellen sprung up from the couch, excitedly swallowing the last of her cookie. “Y’all always have the _best_ ideas. How nice of April to suggest this for everyone! Let’s get a show of hands and see who might be interested in an after-school Fellowship event like the lock-in.”

Franklin and Horny Lorna’s hands shot up immediately, and sensing the possibility of another relatively unsupervised evening, everyone else in the room followed suit. Not in a particular hurry to replicate the outright devastation of that evening, Blair and Sterling very gingerly raised their hands after it was too late to make a difference.

“Excellent! Alright, let’s start opening those brilliant little minds of yours and tossing out some ideas now,” Ellen gushed with her usual enthusiasm.

Hannah B. was the first to make a suggestion in her usual dreamy voice, “What about a musical event? We could play guitar and sing about Christ’s love.” The room murmured what sounded like a mixed reaction.

“April had suggested a night at the lake. Fish and bread, but you know, maybe also some decent barbeque,” Ezekiel tried to regain the focus of the group. Sterling snapped into an alert posture, with Blair giving her a full side-eye. This was what she should vote for, if she trusted April, which was a big ‘if’ at this point. Her mind said no, but her heart said yes. The room felt divided over the two ideas.

Someone else suggested an ice cream social, which was met with general approval, but the discussion quickly devolved into group chatter. Ellen sensed the unrest and cut in, effectively silencing the room once more, “’Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another…’ Name that verse! Name that verse!”

“Romans?” Sterling guessed to the group. She had a plan to turn this around.

“Very good Sterling! Romans 15:5!” Ellen was overjoyed, as she almost always was. The group seemed to pivot its attention to Sterling now, as though her brief time as Fellowship leader somehow made her vice-Fellowship leader in April’s absence.

“Hey y’all, what if we took, like, elements of each and combined them? We could have the event at the lake, sing some songs around a campfire, and maybe even get ice cream involved.” Sterling was having a hard time keeping her face neutral, as she was unbelievably anxious about what the whole lake thing might really mean.

Blair locked eyes with her on the couch for a twin moment, “Alright Mahatma Gandhi, what have you done with my sister?”

“Blair, I don’t know why, but April messaged me about voting for the lake idea,” Sterling shrugged.

“Did she also mention a lasting peace in the Middle East? Because you’re on a roll here,” Sterling just rolled her eyes, so Blair continued, “Sterl that’s fine, but are you, like, okay with this? Is it too soon for you? I’m just worried. Last time this whole event thingy didn’t go too hot.”

“Ugh, I love you for that. I mean, I’ve got to start living again at some point, right? Maybe we drive together and then we can leave if anything, you know, feels funny?” Sterling suggested.

“O.M.G. I love you too. Yes, perfect.”

The group seemed enthusiastic about the idea, and the matter felt settled. Somehow sensing that she was on his side, Ezekiel gave her a short nod of recognition, and started to bring the discussion around to specific details for the lake trip. Sterling whipped out her phone, feeling like a secret agent.

SilverOne: _Lake is a go._

‘TinyBluePoisonFrog’ quickly responded with a kissing face emoji, and suddenly Sterling found herself really craving a trip to the great outdoors.

-

Blair and Sterling finally made it to Yogurtopia after rehashing the full synopsis of April’s bathroom breakdown and calling Bowser and Yolanda to meet them there. Blair still wasn’t sure what to make of it. It was obvious to her that Sterling had very serious feelings for April. She supposed, if she could make it past the years of trained distaste, there were certain ways April may well be suited to her twin. Sterling tended to fly by the seat of her pants and land herself in hot water. It was only by her distinct God-given grace, and sheer wit, that she happened to end up winning out most times. Perhaps April’s serious and more cautious demeanor would be a nice counterbalance for her chaotic twin.

Who knew how mutual it was though? Sterling was obviously very convinced that she and April felt the same way but if that was the case, Blair thought, she wouldn’t have been dumped cold on a park bench. Not to mention how April’s closeted life would require her sister to be stuck in there too. Blair didn’t blame April for wanting to feel safe in their bigoted community, but she loved Sterling fiercely, and didn’t want anyone to hold her sister back.

The twins rolled into Bowser’s office like they were about to pose for an album cover. “Sup!” Sterling greeted them, letting her lips pop on the ‘P’.

“Oh, here we go,” Bowser half-mumbled, “What can we do you for girls?”

“People are gunning for us in these streets, gang,” Blair crouched to the floor and stuck her fist under her chin, while Sterling power pointed.

“What, y’all got a mixed tape dropping or something?” Bowser chuckled.

“Maybe they can collab with my loca sister,” Yolanda suggested.

“Wouldn’t that be the dream?” Sterling pondered, but Blair stayed focused.

“Actually, we, like, might really need your help,” Blair said, and everyone focused up. “Do you remember our first solo bounty skip? John Stevens?” Bowser and Yolanda nodded to confirm. “He was cleared of his charges, and we just, we don’t know what to do.”

“He _walked_?” Bowser was incredulous, “Being a white man really do be like that sometimes…”

“Hold up, didn’t they have a video of him at the scene?” Yolanda asked.

“Yeah, and he’s back in our town, and his daughter goes to our school, and she’s acting weird, and we still have to see him at church and stuff, and we’re scared he’s, like, going to come after us.” Sterling rambled.

“Damn girls, I didn’t realize,” Bowser said softly, “He probably paid off a judge or some other rich dude bullshit.”

“It doesn’t matter _why_ right now, but, like, what do we _do_? He beat up a prostitute, he’s dangerous.” Blair’s voice cracked a little, hinting at the true depth of her concern.

“Listen chicas, unless he breaks the law again trying to hurt you, unfortunately we can’t really do anything.” Yolanda pursed her lips, as though even she wasn’t happy with the truth of the situation. The twins shot each other a look. Waiting for something illegal to happen didn’t feel like a reasonable plan.

Bowser thought for a moment, running his fingers over his beard. “Okay, here’s what we got. I’ll give each of you a taser, and you keep that on you even when you’re off-duty,” he mused with his gravelly voice, “I’ll change your ringtone setting, and if you need me, you call. Any time.” The girls nodded, feeling safer already. Yolanda was surprised at the sudden concern and protectiveness in Bowser’s voice.

“I’ll do the ringer thing too. And I can send you that video of his arrest, in case he tries any of that sneaky, plantation-style intimidation bullshit,” Yolanda added with an edge to her voice.

Sterling walked over and hugged Yolanda, whose face was surprised at first but settled into a gentle smile as she hugged her back. “Thanks, you guys.”

“Yeah, thank you so much. You might be totally saving our lives right now,” Blair added. “Speaking of which, I have one more idea for how to survive, and I might need your help with it Bowser,” she said as a mischievous grin spread across her face.

“Uh oh, whatcha got cooking in there brunette?”


	6. Dandelion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a meaty one people. Figured the girls deserved a nice date...for now.  
> I appreciate all of the support this fic has gotten so far.  
> Call me Ellen, because I am waving at life, thank you!

Sterling wasn’t sure how to act around April now, and the unspoken rules about the secret chat gave her too much pause to try to use it with any confidence. Even Blair had difficulty following each little episode along the way, though she mercifully listened to Sterling’s ramblings as she turned it over in her head on their way to school. April had kissed Sterling, a bunch, dumped her at the lock-in, found out about the bounty hunting, cried during their confrontation, refused Luke for fear of hurting her, slowly become deranged, attacked her in a restroom, and now set up some elaborate and as-of-yet unknown plot involving the Fellowship lake trip next weekend. Sterling could barely piece it all together herself, and she was actually there for most of it.

“I maintain that she’s snapped. She has completely lost her mind Sterl,” Blair reiterated.

“You’ve made that, like, _beyond_ clear,” Sterling rolled her eyes.

“While she is batshit, her goal here is pretty obvious. You know she’s into you. April’s always been totally extra. Remember the veil at Koontz’s memorial? Don’t even get me started on the debate dossiers...”

Sterling felt a swell of hope in her chest. She knew that their kiss hadn’t been for nothing, but hearing it confirmed, even by an entirely biased third-party, really helped seal the deal. Facing the object of her affection and getting answers, however, was another story entirely.

“Okay, but how do I, um, approach it? Last time I think I freaked her out by pushing too far too soon. Should I try to talk to her? What if she ignores me again?” Sterling couldn’t stop the panicked chatter. She felt like Cady Heron in _Mean Girls_ talking about Regina George.

Twin senses fully activated, Blair cut her off, “Enough word vomit. You don’t have to worry about her ignoring you.”

“And what makes you so sure?” Sterling prickled as she found a spot in the school parking lot.

“Maybe because I just saw her waiting for you by her car,” Blair answered smugly. She stuck her tongue out at her sister and all but bounced from the Volt. “Don’t forget I have my first class tonight. Either call me for a ride later or drop me off.” Blair started off towards school, calling over her shoulder, “And please, don’t pick me up with the windows fogged!”

Sterling’s stomach dropped into her butt, or at least, that’s what it felt like. Her hands were practically shaking from the sheer adrenaline of not knowing how this encounter with April would go. Maybe Blair was just being Blair. Maybe April wasn’t waiting for her at all. And yet, as she finally wended her way out of the rows of cars, she saw what she’d been hoping to see since the night of the lock-in: April Stevens, with that adorable crooked smile on her face, looking right at her. Sterling could swear she felt her heart miss a beat.

April pushed herself off of the hood of her sports car and sauntered up to meet Sterling, her eyes scanning her from head to toe. Sterling was doing some looking of her own and took notice of the fact that April’s usually coiffed appearance had returned, and then some. In fact, she had to make the conscious decision to close her mouth again.

“You look…” Sterling began but quickly rerouted when she saw the tinge of panic in April’s eyes, “…well.”

“As do you, Sterling.” April was right, she probably could tutor people in compartmentalization. “Shall we?” she asked, indicating that they should head to class.

“So this is, uh, new,” Sterling began.

April took a deep breath and centered herself before answering in a hushed tone, “I can’t seem to find it within myself to hate you any longer.” The words were perfectly detached, but Sterling could feel the effort it must’ve taken April to express them.

“Should we, I mean, could we maybe talk then? After school?” Sterling wanted to give April the space to say no, the space she should’ve given her last time.

“I’d like that,” April replied, looking sideways at Sterling as though she were just barely containing a grin. As the girls approached the building, they realized their time to talk unnoticed was drawing to a close. “You had to go to study hall today, right?”

“Huh? I mean, totally, definitely have a lot to, uh, catch up on,” Sterling bungled through the pretense as she held the door open for April. She couldn’t seem to string together a single coherent sentence this morning. It would be mortifying if she were paying attention to herself, but she wasn’t, not with April so close.

“Then I suppose I will see you there,” April’s blue-green eyes twinkled at her. Before Sterling could register anything beyond her mind’s internal chant of _pretty pretty pretty_ , April had turned on her heel and, with a lithely step, headed to class on her own.

-

“HI-YAH!” Blair cried out, as she again successfully upended a full-grown man. The man grumbled something about not needing to yell that every time she practiced a move, as the instructor called for a water break. Blair was just getting comfortable with basic takedowns on her first day of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class. After mentioning the idea to Bowser, he had recommended a spot that occasionally hosted training courses for local law enforcement. The fact that there were no students in the class that matched with her for size was even better, she thought, she’d rarely be picking on someone her own size in the field anyway. Once the week of trial classes was over, she could totally ask her parents to continue. She’d have to ease them into the idea of taking martial arts classes in a strip mall, but it would look too interesting on college applications for them to outright reject it.

Snapping herself out of her reverie, she gave her partner a warm smile and extended him a hand, which was gratefully accepted. “Sorry sir, I’m just really digging this class. I’m Blair.”

The man’s gray mustache lifted in a wide grin that reached his eyes, “Ah no worries, kiddo. I remember my first time here. I’m Jim.” He was still a white belt, like Blair, but his had a few stripes on it.

“Nice to meet you Jim,” she couldn’t help but smile back, “How did you get into this?” Jim was a relatively rotund middle-aged man. At a passing glance, and definitely not because Blair had issues lettings go of things, he could be mistaken for Mr. Koontz.

“Oh, I actually own the tech repair shop next door. I always hear the hootin’ and hollerin’ going on in here and thought I could take a crack at it. You’d be surprised how testy some of these fellas get about their electronics, Hoo-wee!”

“Really? Like, people yell at you about their iPhones?” Blair was incredulous, both at the subject matter, and that she was actually enjoying a conversation with a 50-something computer repairman. Life was weird.

“Oh, you betcha young lady. Just the other day some guy in a fancy Dodge walked in yelling about how all of his laptop files were gone. I tried to save what I could, but there was plum nothing to recover! Looked like he was fixing to take a swing at me though…”

“I mean, always back up your data. That’s rule number one,” Blair asserted. She couldn’t help but think of how useful it would be for her bounty hunting to have a friend who could recover deleted computer data. “Did he try to hit you?”

“I’m glad they’re teaching you kids _something_ in school. But nah, he didn’t try anything serious.”

“Huh. Pardon my French, but what a jerk,” knowing this, Blair actually felt a little bit bad for taking Jim down with the Jiu-Jitsu drills all class long. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy.

“Yeah, well, shit happens,” he chuckled, “But what about you? What’s your story?”

“I’m, uh, actually thinking about studying criminal justice or something in college. Maybe try to go after bad guys.” Blair hadn’t said that aloud to anyone before, but as she said it to Jim, the words seemed to settle in a comfortable place in her chest. She needed to run this revelation by Sterling immediately. Something important was happening here.

“Just don’t tell my momma that second part,” she added, and Jim laughed.

-

Sitting next to, near, and behind April all day was the most exquisite and delightful torture. Now that the uncertainty had dissipated, and ‘maybe someday’ was maybe today, every cell in Sterling’s body seemed to be buzzing with anticipation and elation. The energy that seemed to flow between them had returned in full force, and once in a while April’s professional demeanor toward her would slip by way of a crooked smile or nibbled lower lip, and it would set Sterling's heart alight. It was a flighty sensation, like when the pilot of one of those jumbo jets descends just a little too quickly for a few seconds.

When the final bell rang, Sterling left the keys to the Volt in the locker for Blair, and all but astral projected to the library to wait for April. April took her time sauntering over, waving goodbye to Hannah B. and Ezekiel on the way, the latter of whom struggled to contain a smile. Her books on her hip, she stopped in front of Sterling at the library doors.

“Fifteen minutes of studying, then we bolt.” April whispered.

Sterling nodded, but then sighed as she remembered something important, “I…don’t have the Volt today.”

“No problemo Carolina,” April whispered conspiratorially, “I have mine.” She winked as she yanked open the door to the library, leaving Sterling a speechless mess in her wake.

Both of the girls signed into study hall, and what followed were the least productive fifteen minutes anyone has ever had in their entire lives. In the enforced silence of the room, Sterling just reread the same formula in her physics textbook over and over, having to refocus every time April jostled and caught her eye. When their time had finally been served, she was rewarded with an almost pained expression from April which mirrored her own. April was right though, as per usual, in those fifteen minutes the halls had cleared out, and they giggled as they slipped into April’s car without notice.

Once the doors shut, the air grew a little tense, “I didn’t even know you had a car,” Sterling commented as she took in her surroundings. The interior was all black everything, with dark window tints, and fancy electronics. Still jittery with nerves, she continued, “This is…intense.”

“I usually carpool. It’s a Charger,” April paused before continuing, “and a bargaining chip from my dad. Probably more for himself than for me.” Her face fell a bit as she revealed it.

Sterling turned to face April, “You look good in it though.” She was rewarded with the slightest pink blush.

“To be frank, this is about as far as I made it in terms of plans,” April admitted after a calming breath. It did nothing to help her coloring return to normal. She busied herself by rolling up the sleeves of her button down.

Seeing April so visibly nervous actually calmed Sterling down, “Oh my God, totally fine. I’ve been thinking about this all day. Are you, like, would you be okay with a little bit of a drive? I know the perfect place.”

April seemed to relax a bit as she smiled at Sterling’s suggestion, “Direct me?” She pulled out her usual sleek ponytail and shook her hair with her hands until her natural part returned, sending the smell of her shampoo in every direction.

Sterling had to focus on swallowing, “You got it.”

After a half-hour of driving and light banter, Sterling was relieved that they’d finally parked. It’s not that April was a bad or dangerous driver but watching her weave through traffic with zeal, with her sleeves rolled up and the engine roaring, was devastating for the blonde’s conversational capacity.

As they approached the entryway, Sterling’s favorite crooked smile spread onto April’s face, “The city botanical garden,” she beamed up at Sterling, “How do you always manage to surprise me?”

“It’s a bit of, uh, a literal interpretation of ‘neutral and undetectable _ground_ ’,” Sterling joked.

Sterling was quite content to just ‘Ooh’ and ‘Ahh’ at the different plants and flowers, at least, that’s what she told herself. She was so used to just reaching out and grabbing what she wanted, that waiting for April to open up a real conversation in her own time was torturous. The energy between them was somehow simultaneously calm and charged, as though they both could feel the magnetism they shared, but were choosing to enjoy the rare freedom instead.

Brushing hands with April as they walked through the gardens together, pointing out flowers, while occasionally sneaking a glance at one another felt real in a way that nothing else ever had. It felt like a life that they could actually live, meeting here after work for a walk before returning to their apartment in the city. Sterling had to shake her head a bit to refocus on the present. The present was all they had. April spotted the motion though and looked at Sterling with an inquisitive expression.

“It’s nothing, just, thinking about stuff,” Sterling tried to shake it off.

April’s brow raised, “You don’t have to say it, but what you’re thinking is never _nothing_.”

Sterling knew she shouldn’t say it, it would scare April away, maybe for good, but after the day of anticipation her patience had waned. “It’s just this,” Sterling gestured around and between them, “weirdly feels like it could really be our life.” Sterling saw April freeze in her periphery as she stopped walking and looked up at her.

April tried to start sentences a few times but seemed to come up empty. When she did answer, her tone was soft, lacking its usual pointedness, “I can feel it too.” She glanced around them, then reached up and put her hand against Sterling’s cheek, “I know we still need to talk through everything. How are you so good at…saying what you feel? I can’t, I don’t…”

Sterling was still beaming from the reciprocity, “I think you’re doing great.”

April slowly dropped her hand and placed it on Sterling’s wrist, “I will work on it,” she declared, her steely resolve returning, “for you.” And with that she dragged Sterling over to a bench near an _Alice in Wonderland_ display, and they sat. April had her feet up on the bench, facing Sterling and hugging her knees, “Where do we start?”

“Well, you dumped me, and I arrested your dad,” Sterling figured ripping the bandage off quickly might be the best course of action.

April’s face settled into a critical look, “Well that was a cold open…” Sterling shrugged in response, leaving the ball firmly in April’s court. She took a deep breath, “Sterling, I got scared. I should’ve just talked to you about it instead of lashing out. I was wrong,” she looked into the distance, “I hate admitting that.”

“That you’re wrong sometimes?” Sterling prompted with a teasing smile.

“Yes,” April answered curtly, letting the tiniest smile escape in spite of herself. “I’m not mad at you for arresting my dad anymore, by the way. If you didn’t, someone else would have. I am, however, upset that you never saw fit to tell me. That was messed up, and you know it.” Her eyes bore directly into Sterling’s with an intensity fit for a court room.

“I do know it,” Sterling looked into April’s eyes sincerely, “and I’m sorry too.” She tried to lighten the mood, “Next time the old boy needs to be brought in, Blair and I will, like, run it by you first.” Fortunately, April laughed, and she reveled in the sound. As silence settled between them once again, she had to ask, “How are things with him back home?”

April’s face took on her usual hardened mask, “As good as they can be.”

“So, like, nothing’s changed on the ‘out and proud’ front…” Sterling trailed off. It wasn’t a question.

April seemed to cling impossibly harder to her knees, “No.”

“What changed then? What were you talking about in the bathroom?” Sterling needed to understand the ferocity with which April seemed to change her mind.

“It’s…complicated. I don’t know if I can…”

“Try. Please?” Sterling’s eyes searched April’s face for a hint of feedback.

“I was absolutely miserable after the lock-in,” April looked down, “but I told myself that I was putting my family first by protecting them from another scandal.”

“You could’ve fooled me,” Sterling couldn’t help but bite, regretting it almost immediately.

“Then I was doing my job well,” April retorted, her eyes fiery.

Sterling put a hand on April’s arm, and she relaxed into the touch, “Sorry, just…keep going. What changed?”

“You told me you were scared of him, that day in the closet,” April’s voice grew tight, as though she were trying not to get emotional. “It’s bad enough that he gets to control my life, but I’ll be damned if he gets to control yours.” She paused to take a breath, and Sterling pried one of April’s hands from around her knees to interlace their fingers.

The trap in the closet had worked after all, Sterling mused. She’d have to let Blair know that sometimes violence actually _was_ the answer. Glimpsing the fear April feels at the hands of her own father, filled Sterling with a rage she was unfamiliar with. Briefly, she wished that she were the one who kicked him in the face at the lake house instead of Blair.

Beside her, April was working through some difficult decisions of her own, “I know being a secret isn’t what you wanted. If you don’t…want this…” _want me_ was unspoken but understood.

Sterling squeezed her hand, “April, no, I, of course I want to be with you. Patience is a virtue, right? Maybe it’s time I start practicing that.”

April released a breath she’d been holding, “Okay, good,” a blush crept up her neck as their eyes met, and she stretched her legs out into Sterling’s lap.

“Well, uh, I guess I have something else I need to get off my chest,” Sterling admitted. She was dreading this, “Luke and I kissed,” she sighed, “at the lock-in. After you and I, uh, talked.” April’s eyes flashed, but Sterling continued, “I just felt so hopeless, and like everything with us was so difficult. He came outside to check on me, and it was just easy to,” she struggled for a moment to find the word, “regress like that.”

April couldn’t help but to smile the tiniest bit, “Luke already told me that actually, before he asked me out. I suppose he wanted to be honest with his intentions. Admirable, really.” Sterling was shocked. “Still, it’s…better to hear it from you, as much as it stings.”

“If it helps any, I really regret it,” Sterling hung her head low.

“Surprisingly, it does,” she paused for a bit, “Why’d you leave then? I thought it was because of me.”

Sterling went stiff in her seat for a moment, the kidnapping, her mom, her aunt, it was all too fresh, and honestly it was a miracle that nobody had found out about it yet anyway. Her head was spinning just considering all of the junk she hadn’t yet processed, “That’s a long story. I don’t really want to get into it right now.”

“Sorry,” April spoke softly, and she began running her fingers along the length of Sterling’s arm. “I am here you know. I’ve got you, and I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

“Me neither,” Sterling was slowly sinking into the seafoam ocean of her eyes. As her arm tingled from the contact, she became acutely aware of how hard her heart was pounding.

The magnetism they’d been resisting came back in full force, and their lips met in the middle. This kiss was gentler than their last encounter, almost like April was trying to prove that she could be patient too. As they tumbled down the rabbit hole together, lips locking and unlocking, Sterling’s hand crept up to lightly scratch the back of April’s neck, and she sighed into it. A steady heat started building between them, and just as April had allowed her own hand to wander, the loud buzz of Sterling’s cell phone on the steel bench sent them both jolting away from each other. They frantically looked around for a moment, chests heaving, to make sure they were alone.

Sterling scoffed up the phone ready to unleash her full Wesley wrath on whoever dared interrupt, until she saw the text and froze.

“What’s the matter, what is it?” April’s voice was panicked.

“It’s my dad. He says to come home right now. It’s an emergency.”


	7. Good Ol' Boys Club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everybody remember to go to the Netflix content request page (link below) and request Teenage Bounty Hunters!  
> https://help.netflix.com/en/titlerequest  
> As jazzed as I am about this fic, if this is all I get for a series resolution, I'll be seriously disappointed. I think the blood should be real. You're gonna have to kill a pigeon.
> 
> So according to the parking lot scene, someone in April's clique canonically drives a Charger. You bet your sweet lake house we're giving our girl a Hellcat.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading. Thank you to the community for contributing such awesome work. I truly read every word of it.

Blair got home from Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class sweaty and exhilarated. She was absolutely bursting at the seams waiting to tell Sterling about the people she met, and the plans that she came up with for her future. Yolanda could probably help her out just by talking about how she got into that line of work, so could Bowser! Maybe she could look into the criminal justice program at UGA, her grades weren’t the best, but maybe being a double legacy could get her in.

She also wanted to know what had happened with Sterling and April. Obviously _something_ had gone well between them, or Sterling would’ve been home already. She was torn between hoping her twin was getting some, and wretchedly not wanting to know if she had. Wouldn’t it be great if Sterling could just get someone to flick her bean, like, even once? The wretched part only came in with April’s potential involvement. Maybe she could soften on that too. As she walked into the house and threw her bags down by the stairs, she considered the situation fully. Sterling was her other half, and if her other half loved April, then there must be more to her than meets the eye. It was a lot of ‘ifs’ but Blair decided that if Sterling came home and wasn’t a puddle of tears, she would try to get along with April. Surely, they could make it through a lunch or something without clawing each other’s eyes out. God, she was so mature. Clearly the better sister here.

She headed to the kitchen, whipping her phone out to text Sterling that very bit of a humble brag when it was abruptly snatched from her hand by a very angry father, _her_ very angry father. Wait, her father was never angry. Fuck.

“Young lady, I believe that is mine now.”

Blair’s eyes swept over the scene. The kitchen island was covered in papers. Her mom was leaning back against the counter with both arms behind her. Whatever makeup she’d had on that day seemed to be strewn across the room in the form of soiled tissues. When she finally turned to look at her dad his face was red and seemed to be vacillating between rage and complete surrender.

“Wha-?” Blair couldn’t even form a full sentence. None of these pieces fit together. Did somebody die?

“Don’t you even _start_ with us right now,” Mrs. Wesley was pinching the bridge of her nose, “Where is your sister? We are not having this conversation without your sister here. We texted you both fifteen minutes ago.”

Blair paused for a beat. She probably didn’t see the text because she was driving. This wasn’t sadness. This was bad, Blair thought. They know about something. The Jiu-Jitsu? April? Their bounty hunting? It was better to play dumb than to start confessing.

She had to cover for Sterling though, or really April, “She wasn’t with me. Uh, I think she was hanging out with some Fellowship people after school.”

Her father kept his arms crossed, and in his most potent Southern drawl he stared her down and said, “Then, young lady, we will wait.”

Oh, they were so totally screwed.

“Yes sir.”

-

It took a shared glance after reading the emergency text for Sterling and April to practically fly out of the botanical gardens. Sterling was surprisingly fast, but April was hot on her heels, despite her needing to take almost two steps for each of Sterling’s one. She understood better than anyone what an upset father could mean.

April mumbled something about a red key and sped back up the highway to the suburbs with an aggression usually reserved for forensics tournaments, while Sterling poured over what could possibly be going on at home. She had texted her dad back but heard nothing further.

April’s most gentle voice broke her reverie, “Sterl, what are you thinking?” She reached over and grabbed her hand, soothing it with her thumb.

Sterling’s eyes filled with tears, “Blair never texted me, and I just…I just hope it’s not her.”

April’s eyes widened at the thought of how anything happening to Blair would just destroy Sterling. Gently, she took her hand back from her passenger and for the rest of the ride the engine was really too loud to allow for further discussion.

When they skidded to a stop at the Wesley household, after only twenty minutes of driving, April unbuckled herself to give Sterling a crushing hug from across the console, whispering in her ear, “I’m here, no matter what.” Sterling was so dazed from her spiraling internal questions that it took her a moment to register the sentiment. She pulled away from the hug and looked into April’s worried eyes as she allowed herself to take a steadying breath.

“Okay. I’m okay,” she managed to say, but she wasn’t sure who she was talking to. Abruptly, she grabbed April’s face in her hands and kissed her full on the mouth, as though it were her dying act. It felt as though she were outside of herself, watching her body kiss April. She pulled away gasping, mumbled something about messaging her soon, and stumbled out of the car into a dead sprint towards the house. Sterling burst through the door as she heard the roar of April’s Charger pull away behind her.

Sterling was fully frazzled when she reached the kitchen still breathing heavily. Her mom was waiting with her hand out, “Sterling Pearl Wesley, hand over your phone. We are having a family meeting right now.”

The Wesleys gathered at the kitchen table, the twins sitting next to each other on one side with their parents on the other. The two girls were so relieved that the emergency wasn’t either of their well-beings that they held hands under the table. It felt like a police interrogation, all that was missing was the angled desk lamp shining in the twins’ eyes.

Their mother began, “Girls, I don’t even know where to begin, except to say that you have to be one hundred percent honest with us,” her eyes filled with tears, “I thought we’d already been through this, and that we’d cleared the air as a family.” She couldn’t continue, and their dad put his arm around her shoulders, rubbing her arm in comfort.

The twins were perturbed by their usually stoic mother breaking down like this in front of them, but with a quick glance between them, they decided to play it safe. Blair was the brave one, “What's going on? What’s with all the paperwork?”

One glance at their mother, and their father realized that the responsibility of explaining this would fall on his shoulders. They seemed to sink under the weight, “John Stevens is suing our family for two million dollars.” Their mother let out a sob.

There was radio silence, as though an earthquake had just liquified the very foundation of the family, but nobody had moved to assess the damages yet. This time Sterling was the brave one, but it didn’t sound very brave when she sheepishly asked, “For what?”

“DO NOT EVEN START WITH THE LIES!” their mother lashed out, and the girls pressed themselves back into their seats in recoil. Their father reached his other arm out to attempt to quell his wife. He would have to be the calm one here.

“It’s a civil lawsuit for parental liability. Assault, battery, trespassing. He’s saying y’all two beat him up with my guns while arresting him at his lake house. Since you’re both minors, the lawsuit falls on us.” He looked so weary, “But how is that even possible girls? Please tell me this is some kind of made up baloney. I mean, you two, taking down a full-grown man…”

Their mother seemed to have collected herself, “We need to know the truth. If we don’t, we could lose everything.” The girls looked at each other, not needing a twin moment to realize the gravity of the situation.

Blair freed her hand from Sterling’s and placed her palms up on the table, taking a deep breath as though she were attempting to achieve enlightenment. “Mom and dad, yes, we arrested Mr. Stevens at his lake house.”

Sterling reached her hand onto the table and took Blair’s hand again, in full view of their parents. “We are bounty hunters.” Blair nodded in solidarity. Their parents just blinked at them for a few moments, as though they were deciding whether or not to laugh.

It figured that this would be the way that Mr. Stevens would get his revenge. After just getting the dirt off of his name, why would anyone of his status stoop so low as to try to revenge upon the girls. Blair turned it over in her head. Of course, this grotesque physical manifestation of everything wrong with the patriarchy would use the courts to personally ruin their lives. Even if they could get through this case, the legal fees could ruin their family either way. Blair was running through the list of things she wouldn’t have any more just because John Stevens beat up a prostitute, and she was growing panicked. She could kiss bounty hunting goodbye, her stomach sank, and Jiu-Jitsu. Tears welled in her eyes. This was her dream, her calling, and it was slipping away right in front of her. She squeezed Sterling’s hand, who seemed to snap out of a reverie all her own.

Simultaneously, Sterling’s internal diatribe circled around everything April had said to her since the lock-in. She sifted through every conversation trying to dig up any hint she may have missed, any warning. She felt waves of nausea roll up as she realized that there was nothing. April had not given her even the slightest indication that her father was gunning for the twins, except to say that she wouldn’t let him control Sterling’s life too. She put her free hand to her lips. They stung as a harsh reminder that they’d touched the enemy just minutes ago. It was over, it was all over, and it had only just begun. A squeeze of her hand pulled her out of the black hole that threatened to swallow her up, and Sterling brought reality back into her focus. “We’ll explain everything.”

The family discussion felt like a boxing match. Once the girls explained everything in detail, each new cause for rage brought about a fresh round of fighting.

-

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU USED MY GUNS!”

“YOU ALWAYS ENCOURAGED US TO PRACTICE SHOOTING!”

-

“I THOUGHT WE SAID NO MORE LIES!”

“WELL I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE MY MOTHER!”

-

“YOU’VE BEEN ASSOCIATING WITH THE LOWEST CLASS OF PEOPLE!”

“IF WE WEREN’T BOUNTY HUNTERS, STERLING MIGHT BE DEAD!”

-

“HOW DARE YOU RUIN OUR FAMILY NAME OVER SOME CHEAP THRILLS!”

“WE AREN’T THE BAD GUYS! WE _CAUGHT_ THE BAD GUY!”

-

After an hour of bloody rounds, there were no clear winners. Nobody could win in this fight anyway because the real enemy wasn’t even there. The Wesleys were strewn across the couches in the living room, every eye red and puffy from crying. When Blair stumbled over to hug Mrs. Wesley, Sterling followed suit, and quickly felt Mr. Wesley join from the side. Somehow, despite the devastating blows heaved across the ring, they knew a white flag was needed to win the real fight ahead.

Mrs. Wesley was the first to break the silent peace, “Girls, no more phones, no more non-school activities, no more boys.” The girls closed their eyes and sighed in exasperation, but she continued, “We are meeting with our lawyer in the morning. We expect you both to tell him everything that you’ve told us. Hopefully, with God’s grace, we will persevere.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Yes mom.”

The family hug squeezed a little tighter before everyone scattered back to their earlier seats. Wanting to lighten the mood, Mr. Wesley scratched the back of his head and casually asked, “Sterling, who were you with anyway? That car dropping you off had some kind of engine in it.”

After the long night of exhausting confrontation, Sterling had nothing left to hide. Complete transparency was the only option for this family moving forward. She shot an apologetic look at Blair, who grabbed a pillow from the couch and held it to her chest like a shield. Grimacing all the way, Sterling turned to look at Mr. Wesley, “Actually I, uh, I was with April.”

There was a beat.

“STEVENS!?”

Suddenly there was time for one more round.


	8. Family Is Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If everyone could do me a favor and keep updating your stories, I'm in desperate need of serotonin. I love this community.  
> Honestly, I've been reading so much about civil case law in Georgia as a result of this fic, I may pull out of this thing with an Esq. after my name.  
> Keep tweeting, streaming, and formally requesting season two from Netflix!  
> As always, thank you for reading!

When the final movement of the cacophony had died down, all of the Wesleys retreated to their respective bedrooms. Sterling’s head was spinning with the implications of this lawsuit. Of course, in the heat of the moment, it made more sense to tell her parents that she and April were just rekindling their old friendship. The last thing she needed was to come out of the closet when the air was already thick with the asperity of an hour-long fight. She rolled herself onto her stomach and punched her pillow a few times in frustration. Despite her omission, her parents’ instructions were clear.

As she let a few tears leak out of the corners of her eyes, she tried to decide who to blame for this. Her father’s words echoed in her ears, feeding into the hollow in her chest that threatened to collapse with the slightest breeze. He wasn’t angry, and he wasn’t sad. He was matter-of-fact, “Sterling, you’re not to see that Stevens girl again. You hear?”

Sterling rolled over and curled into a ball, bunching up a corner of her comforter to hold to her chest. The tears kept coming, but she couldn’t find it within herself to try to stop. What did it matter? After some time there was a weight at the edge of her bed, and before she could move to protest, she found herself the little spoon in a hug from Blair.

Blair’s occasional sniffles were the only thing to punctuate the silence. She remembered when the meanest thing her father had ever done was to tell her to be quiet on the hunting trip with Uncle Deacon. Now it felt like every shouted sentence from their parents cut like a knife. This couldn’t be more wrong, she thought. They had captured dangerous people and put them in a position to be judged by a jury of their peers. There was nothing illegal about that, in fact, it was downright American. She squeezed her sister a little tighter, and Sterling reached back to hold her hand.

With the courage of her convictions, Blair whispered, “We didn’t do anything wrong.”

Sterling was quiet for a while, but she gave Blair’s hand a squeeze. “I know. I love you so much sis.”

They fell asleep like that, huddled together, and mutually ignoring the faint occasional buzzing of messages going unanswered in their parents’ room.

-

The next morning brought no real reprieve from the fear and the confusion. The girls got dressed up in their Sunday bests, while their parents called the school to excuse their absences. After several minutes, Blair gave up trying to apply eyeliner entirely when she realized her eyes were too puffy from crying to even be worth the effort. Sterling didn’t even bother to attempt it. In fact, Blair thought Sterling looked a little closer to a zombie Christ-having-risen than she did herself.

“Sterl, are you…you good?” Blair leaned over and put a hand on her sister’s shoulder.

Sterling shrugged it off and shook her head, her eyes watering at the mere suggestion of reflecting on how quickly her life had gone up in smoke this year. Sensing her delicate state, Blair grabbed her hand, and they walked downstairs for the legal meeting together.

Their family lawyer, Mr. Clark, seemed taken aback by the narrative the twins were able to present, to say the least. He was an older rotund gentleman who looked as though he were the mastermind behind a combination of herbs and spices that made for some great fried chicken. A story like theirs certainly didn’t feel like it belonged in a room with enough wood paneling to destroy a rainforest.

Hearing the events put so clinically even surprised their parents. If Mr. and Mrs. Wesley weren’t so worried, they might’ve admitted that they were actually impressed by how professionally the girls were able to handle themselves in a legal meeting. Blair could swear she saw the slightest twinkle of pride in Mr. Wesley’s eye when she described how she lacrosse-checked John Stevens with a shotgun. When things got down to the legal nitty-gritty though, their parents were all business.

“Well, this might be the most unusual case I’ve ever had come across my desk,” Mr. Clark drawled, leaning back in his chair, and looking as though he were sorely missing a cigar to chew on. “My immediate advisement is to cease all communication with the plaintiff and anyone he would consider kin. We want to be able to control the narrative here.”

Sterling snapped alert at the implication, “Um, sir? I’m not disagreeing, but I guess I’m just confused. We go to school with his daughter, and his whole family goes to our church…”

“Ah, young lady. It’s alright if you _see_ these people, in fact, it may read better to a jury if you don’t miss a mass. Just don’t interact with them. I’m sure your parents can write a note to the school explaining the situation to any teachers you may share with his child.”

Sterling felt like all of the color had just bled from her world, but she tried her absolute hardest to appear emotionally even, “Thank you sir, for the clarification.” Blair glanced at her sister, trying to share a twin moment, but Sterling wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“Now, matters like these are typically settled out of court, but we should prepare for the worst. I think the _optics,_ of this situation would read better if one of our female partners represented y’all publicly. This man has an ugly past, and we want it to appear as though he is attacking a family through two young girls.” Mr. and Mrs. Wesley nodded their heads, attention rapt. “In the meantime, I have some reading to do on the exact severity of his crimes. I should say, that if he was charged with felony assault and solicitation, then his bail skip would also be considered a felony. As such, despite the two of you being minors, you may have had legal grounds for a citizen’s arrest. If we can prove necessary force was used in this case, I’d say we might have an…interesting defense.”

Everyone in the Wesley family’s mouth fell open. For the briefest moment, Blair could swear she saw the tiniest light at the end of this tunnel. If she could legally perform citizen’s arrests, then she could legally continue to help Bowser, but there was just one last thing that didn’t make sense.

“But what about the trespassing charge?” Blair blurted out. Both of her parent’s heads whipped around the stare at her, still in shock.

“Very good. Blair was it? That’s the only charge not addressed with this approach,” their counsel seemed genuinely impressed with the holes being poked in his arguments.

Sterling was confused, but about other parts of this defense, “Why can’t we just say we didn’t do it? Neither of our names are on the bail paperwork, it’s only Bowser’s information. I’m not trying to, like, throw him under the bus or anything, but doesn’t he have a license and everything?” Blair raised an eyebrow in reaction to her sister’s sudden turncoat attitude.

“You two really are quite the spitfires, huh? Well, the issue with denial is that we don’t know what evidence they have against you. If we file our answer in this three-week window claiming that this never happened, and then they come back with photos or videos…”

Sterling sighed, “We’re screwed.”

Mrs. Wesley gasped and lightly slapped Sterling on the wrist, “Sterling Wesley, you watch that mouth of yours!” She pivoted to face Mr. Clark, “Sir, I apologize for that.”

“Well that’s quite alright ma’am,” their lawyer chuckled lightly in response.

“Girls, I think that can be your cue to head on home. I’m sure Mr. Clark here has a lot of technical things to go over with us,” Mr. Wesley excused them. The twins nodded in return and rose to leave the room.

Mrs. Wesley squirmed a little at how the conversation had ended, “And girls!” they both turned back to look at her, “Thank you both for your honesty today. I know it…wasn’t easy.” Sterling reached back to squeeze Mrs. Wesley’s shoulder. She appreciated the acknowledgment more than she could express.

When the twins got back home, they felt all of the adrenaline that had propelled them through the legal meeting leave their bodies. Sterling shrugged out of her cardigan and collapsed onto the couch, staying in her white lace dress, while Blair headed upstairs.

“All I have left in this world is yoga and masturbation,” she half-shouted, every other word punctuated by a trudge up another step.

“I could’ve gone my whole life not knowing that!” Sterling shouted back. She snuggled into the couch with Chloe at her feet and allowed herself to drift into a place where everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.

-

The sound of the doorbell echoing throughout the lower level of the house shocked Sterling awake. She bolted upright and made a quick assessment of her whereabouts. The lighting in the living room hadn’t changed much, and the house was quiet. Her parents had probably gone out for a bite to eat. She didn’t want to consider that they might still be discussing legalities with Mr. Clark. Another ring of the doorbell interrupted her pondering, so she rose and stumbled over to the door in a sleepy stupor, swinging it wide open with abandon.

There on her front steps was a very concerned looking April Stevens, still in her school uniform, and with a pile of papers and folders resting on her hip. She fidgeted in the moment that it took for Sterling to register her presence.

“I brought you your homework,” she said gently as she placed the pile of materials on the porch by her feet. Something akin to hunger rose in April’s eyes as she took in the girl before her. Sterling could feel her cheeks flush as she remembered that she was still wearing her best church dress, and that she probably had a terrible case of bed head. She hadn’t had enough time to come up with a plan for this. Talking to April wasn’t just keeping a secret anymore, or ignoring her parents, it was going against legal advisement.

April glanced over her shoulder at the driveway, seemingly noting that only the Volt was visible. She took a step closer and lowered her voice to an urgent whisper, “You didn’t answer any of my messages. What was the emergency? You sprinted out of my car, and now you’re not in school. What’s going on?”

Sterling dropped her hand from the frame of the front door and seemed to fold in on herself. She couldn’t process the line of questioning, didn’t want to consider what it meant if the lawsuit was a surprise for both of them. The gag order still stood either way.

Mistaking Sterling’s hesitation as an unwillingness to discuss some kind of family tragedy, April closed the distance between them and enveloped Sterling in a fierce hug. The gesture was so uncharacteristic in its conspicuity, and so comforting in its optimism, that Sterling was completely disarmed. She silenced her brain for a moment and allowed her arms to wend their way around the shorter girl. This might be the last time they could be like this with one another, walls down. She felt so safe in that embrace, so protected by April’s affection. She had been wrong, there was no secretive maliciousness from this girl she cared for. April’s ignorance was such a relief to her that Sterling forgot herself for a moment and gently sighed, “You didn’t know.” April pulled back to look into Sterling’s eyes with a confused expression.

Suddenly, Sterling felt herself yanked back into the house by the neck of her dress. She stumbled backwards from the force, and the door was shut quickly in front of her. April was completely taken aback as the tall blonde girl of her dreams was suddenly replaced with her much more dangerous brunette sister. She recoiled backwards at the contrast.

Blair’s face held an unmistakable snarl, “You _inconceivable_ bitch.”


	9. Miserable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real life is getting busy these days, but writing this fic is my escape. Thank you so much to everyone who reads, sends kudos, and takes the time to comment. This is my season two.  
> My feet were dragging a bit on this chapter, because there's some necessary background here. I'm excited to get back into the weeds with some non-legal scenes!  
> Please remember to request a season two from Netflix. If you have a tumblr, and swear you won't judge me, come overanalyze gifs with me. Aristeia

Sterling was back up on her feet in a flash, yanking on the knob of the front door against Blair who was holding it shut from the outside. Blair stood with a single hand on the doorknob, leaning her weight against Sterling’s efforts. Her jaw was clenched from the exertion.

Once April had gotten past the surprise of Blair’s appearance, she straightened up and allowed her usual calm and frosty expression to return to her face. “Sterling,” she called loud enough for the blonde twin to hear from inside the house, “did you not tell your sister that we’re mending fences?” A vein became visible on Blair’s forehead in response, as she puffed from the effort of holding the door shut.

“Oh, she knows that” Sterling’s strained voice was muffled by the house, “She’s mad about the emergency. Blair! Would you quit it! This is ridiculous!” Blair made no move to quit anything. Then there was only the dull thud of retreating footfalls audible from outside.

Blair rounded on April, “Apparently, we’re not allowed to talk to you. Your dad is so hell-bent on ruining everything around him, that he’s suing our family for daring to stop him from attacking more women!”

April visibly balked and furrowed her brow at the news, “Wait, _what_?”

Blair let go of the door now and stalked towards April with her fists clenched. “Don’t play dumb with me Stevens. My sister might be too starry-eyed to see past your shit, but I’m not. This was all part of your plan, wasn’t it?”

Sterling sprinted to the bottom of the steps, having run through the house to circumvent the front door. Between gasps of air she managed to get out, “Blair, she didn’t know.” She put her hands on her knees, “I can’t believe you made me run around the whole house. What, am I Allyson Felix to you people?”

“That is so beside the point,” Blair stepped on the end of her sentence.

April’s head was on a swivel darting back and forth between the twins. She backed down the steps to stand next to Sterling.

“She didn’t know Blair!”

“Well, let’s find out then. Stevens, did you know about the lawsuit?”

April suddenly found herself on the receiving end of two very intense gazes, “I – I heard him mention it, but I didn’t think…”

Blair was irate, “YOU DIDN’T THINK WHAT? That it was worth warning your girlfriend about?”

Sterling slowly stepped away from April and towards Blair. She saw April register the movement in the periphery of her vision. Her eyes stung with tears, but she blinked until they retreated.

April looked as though she were trying to work through a math problem in her head, “I can’t…It doesn’t…”

Blair moved as though she were going to take a swing at April, but Sterling reached her arm out and held her back. “Blair stop, it’s bad enough already,” she couldn’t stop the tears this time, and the sight of them seemed to quell Blair’s anger.

April collected herself, “Sterling, I need you to understand that there are things I can’t explain, but I’ve _got_ you.” Her blue-green eyes bore into Sterling’s with a desperate intensity, “You have to trust me here.”

Blair was matter-of-fact, “No, she doesn’t.” Sterling did nothing to correct her.

April ignored Blair’s answer as her eyes grew watery. She was searching the blonde twin’s face for a sliver of faith, “Sterl, please.”

Sterling felt like every step forward with April brought a landslide backwards. April’s excuse seemed like a total crock, but her eyes seemed so sincere. How many times would she have to trust this girl just to have her heart shattered over and over again? She shook her head slightly as though she could physically clear it out. Right then, she was done. This was done: the pining, the hoping, the groveling, all of it. It had to be, legally speaking. She could feel her chest start to ache already.

Blair took advantage of her sister’s contemplative silence, “Our lawyer’s instructions were clear Stevens.” Blair’s voice had lost a bit of its edge, almost like she pitied the girl in front of her. “We really can’t talk to you after this.”

April turned back to Sterling, hoping for some kind of contradiction to the words her twin had offered, but none were forthcoming. Not wanting to accept it, she took a step towards Sterling, but the blonde twin moved back from her approach.

Sterling answered steadily, “I have to focus on my family April. Why don’t you understand that?” She was especially glad at that moment that Blair hadn’t struck April. Because when the shorter girl hunched forward, crossing her arms over her stomach, it looked as though hearing her own words repeated back to her already had.

Sterling grabbed Blair’s hand and pulled her away, glancing behind her as she stepped back into the house. For the first time in her life, she thought April Stevens actually looked small. Their eyes met, then the door shut.

-

Little did the twins know, their parents weren’t still in the legal meeting with Mr. Clark, nor were they grabbing lunch. Debbie was on a mission to a very specific location of Yogurtopia. How dare this ‘Bowser’ person drag her sweet girls all over this city detaining the lowliest kinds of people. She and Anderson had spent their entire lives trying to keep Sterling and Blair away from the trash environment she’d grown up in. Her daughters deserved better.

Anderson wasn’t quite coming from a place of anger like he knew his wife was. He knew his girls and didn’t seem to see them as easily corruptible beings. They were many things, but malleable did not seem to be one of them. They had claimed that pursuing this bounty hunting work was their own idea and at their own insistence, and he believed them. As he drove the two of them to the yogurt shop, he focused more on the legal aspects of this man’s involvement.

Ms. Cathy seemed to read the room the moment the concerned parents entered the shop. She stood aside for them to head to the office, with body language that insisted this drama was above her paygrade. As only happened once in a great while, Debbie was grateful for her rough upbringing, she was ready to chew someone’s head off. Debbie burst into Bowser’s office with Anderson close at her side, but the scene inside seemed a little strange.

Bowser sat hunched over his desk with his head in his hands, he didn’t even look up when the Wesleys entered. A woman that Debbie faintly recognized from the night of the kidnapping was seated next to him, rubbing circles between his shoulder blades. Bowser’s desk was completely covered in papers, with several additional folders and sheets scattered around the room.

“Bowser, it’s their parents,” Yolanda announced.

He finally looked up, “I’m gonna go ahead and assume that this,” he gestured around his desk, “is the reason I haven’t heard from anyone?”

After their big dramatic entrance, the Wesleys were frozen in the doorway. Debbie moved past her shock to respond with the anger she had built up in the car, “You’ve been putting our girls in danger for _months_ and you think we care who you’ve heard from?”

Yolanda stood up, “Aye, ‘Stepford wife’, this is not the guy you want to be messing with, because I can assure you, I am not the girl you want to be messing with.” Her eyes flashed with a protectiveness that promised to make good on her assertion.

Bowser put his hands out as though he could personally calm the room, “Are they okay? That’s really all I care about.”

Anderson seemed to sense Bowser’s sincerity, and nodded before defusing the situation, “Yes, the girls are fine. Why don’t we sit and talk through this? I doubt John Stevens left any stones unturned here.” Yolanda glanced at Bowser briefly and when he shrugged, she gestured towards the old couch. The Wesleys made their way over and sat, well Anderson sat, Debbie merely perched as though the couch could corrupt her morals just by resting upon it.

Bowser settled back into his chair, “So he’s suing y’all too? That ain’t right. What’s he shooting for?”

Debbie looked to Anderson to answer, and he put his arm around her shoulders, “A civil suit for parental liability. He’s trying to take us to the cleaners.”

Bowser let out a low whistle, “Shiiiit, I’d feel bad for you, but I’m a little busy right now feeling bad for me.” Anderson chuckled in response. Bowser continued in his gravelly voice, “He’s got me for civil as well, vicarious liability. I've got insurance for myself, but this...”

Yolanda cut in, “Apparently beating up a prostitute is fine, but beating up a prostitute-beater is not.”

“Lord knows it is easy to lose our way,” Debbie pontificated.

“Chica there’s losing your way and then there’s driving a semi off a bridge, but forgive what you will,” Yolanda bit back. Surprisingly, Debbie allowed herself a tiny smile at that.

“Listen, I’m gonna go ahead and assume that the girls already filled you in on what we do here, and I’m sure y’all have fancy lawyers that are going to throw me under the bus. So…what do you want?”

“Woah let’s take it easy,” Anderson supplied, but Debbie had other plans.

“That dog isn’t going to hunt, as they say,” she shot back at Bowser, her eyes narrowing. “You lied to us about the nature of our daughters’ employment here, even when Sterling was in serious danger. Now, I don’t purport to assign punishment for your sins, the good Lord knows that is His job, but I would _love_ to know why you think throwing you under the bus wouldn’t be the first thing on that list.”

Yolanda was immediately on the defense, “Alright Mrs. High-And-Mighty, do you remember _why_ she was in danger? That’s right, your own loca family tried to run off with her! That poor girl would be in Tijuana right now if Bowser hadn’t helped y’all!” Debbie looked as though she’d been kicked in the stomach, but Yolanda wasn’t done. “And for the record, I didn’t even know they were teenagers until that night. They were lying to me too.”

Debbie looked up with an unreadable expression on her face. “You didn’t know either?”

“No! What do I look stupid? You don’t hire kids in this line of work!” she snapped back. Bowser shot Yolanda a dirty look out of the corner of his eye. “At least, I don’t,” she amended, and leaned back into her seat, crossing her arms over her chest.

Anderson piped up then, “Well, why _did_ y’all hire them then?” Every eye in the room turned to Bowser.

He took a deep breath, roughly scrubbing his hands over his eyes. “I know this sounds crazy, but fuck it,” he seemed to consider his audience then, “Excuse me, _screw it_.” Yolanda rolled her eyes. “Your daughters are actually, um, really good at this. The brunette one is super quick with surprisingly good close-quarters skills, and the blonde is an excellent shot. I’m sure you both had a hand in that. They also talk to each other, and understand how each other is going to move. I can’t explain it.”

Anderson and Debbie exchanged a loaded glance then, with something approaching pride in their eyes.

“I really just needed help bringing in John Stevens, because of that white people country club bullshit, but your girls really pushed to stay on. I was looking out for ‘em the whole time, wouldn’t have let anything happen. And they had my back too. I just – I just hope they’re doing okay with all of this.” He couldn’t help but allow some sentimentality to enter his voice with his last sentence.

The air in the room settled with Bowser’s explanation. The Wesleys seemed to be connecting the dots between the admissions that their daughters had made, and the perspective of the man in front of them. Debbie answered first, “I hope you understand that this isn’t the life we hoped our daughters would choose.” Bowser and Yolanda nodded tentatively.

Anderson’s thoughts had led down a different path, “You care about them, our girls.” He meant to phrase it as a question, but it came out more as a declaration.

Bowser grunted in response, while Yolanda elbowed him in the ribs and answered, “We do.”

Debbie seemed to finally relax then, though she still wasn’t about to lean back into the crusty couch. She rubbed her hands on the thighs of her pants to expend some of her nervous energy. “Well y’all, I came in here all types of angry, and I hate to admit it, but I was all types of wrong. Anyone who looks out for our daughters is our friend.”

Anderson looked at his wife and tried to hold back a smile. He turned his attention back to Bowser and Yolanda, “Please don’t feel obliged to accept, but if you would like to work together on this, get our stories straight for the lawyers, we’d sure be happy to join you. I don’t see how presenting a unified front here could do anything but help. No throwing, and no busses.”

Bowser leaned forward onto his elbows with interest. He studied the two parents in front of him with a critical eye. “Yeah, I guess,” he grunted. Yolanda let out an exasperated sigh next to him. “Just one thing though,” the Wesleys looked confused, “You better let that brunette keep taking Jiu-Jitsu. She needs _something_ to focus on if it isn’t gonna be this.”

Debbie’s mouth dropped open, “She’s taking Jiu-Jitsu?” Bowser cringed a bit at having revealed it.

Anderson was quick to smooth things over though, “You know what, we’ll just add that to the list. We’ve got our files in the car. Let’s order in some lunch and start talking everything through. How do we feel about tacos?”

“Soft tacos,” Bowser corrected.

“Soft tacos it is.”


	10. Keep It to Yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To this family:
> 
> I am still fighting, as we hopefully all are, but I am also so sorry for our loss. This show moved me. It picked me up, shook me, and placed me down somewhere else.
> 
> I want you, the reader, to know that this story will continue. The news of this cancelation has only served to make me weigh each word more carefully, to truly provide the arcs and resolutions that each of these characters deserves.
> 
> This is my love letter to a surprising piece of art. This is my season two.

Sterling and Blair had changed into some cozy sweatpants and spent the rest of the day on the couch with a bag of Bugles flipping through the channels and streaming services. Blair was fully ready to talk through the extremely dense few days they’d had, but when they’d first plopped down and scrolled by a _Star Wars_ film on the screen, the faint choking sound that left Sterling’s body gave her pause. Instead she called in for a delivery pizza with some of their extra bounty hunting cash and made a package of lime Jell-O in the kitchen for dessert.

Mr. and Mrs. Wesley came home not long after the family’s usual dinner time smelling of cheap tacos and musty furniture. Blair raised an eyebrow at them when they finally entered the living room to join the girls.

Mrs. Wesley cleared her throat, and Blair shut off the television in response. “Girls, we had a meeting with Mr. Simmons.”

Blair was exasperated, “Who now?”

“Bowser,” Mr. Wesley chimed in.

Blair wrinkled her brow, “Huh, I never knew his last name.”

Sterling straightened up, “Wait, why?”

Mrs. Wesley seemed to draw herself up as though addressing a crowd, “Well, truthfully, we were a little angry, and we wanted some answers.” Mr. Wesley shook his head in disagreement. “Fine, _I_ was angry,” Mrs. Wesley amended with a tired sigh. “We heard everything you girls said and just wanted to hear another side, but unfortunately, he’s also being sued by John Stevens.” There was a collective gasp between the twins. “Now now,” Mrs. Wesley soothed, “We’ve decided to coordinate our legal approach with his, so we have the best shot at cracking this lawsuit.” She pumped her fist as she ended her sentence, like this was the Wesley family pep rally, and she could cheer them out of crippling legal debt. Her smile faded a little too quickly for anyone to believe her sincerity.

“This is literally the worst. What can we do? Is there anything?” Blair could practically feel the weight in the room on her shoulders.

Mr. Wesley seemed so weary from the day. He perched on the arm of the couch next to Blair and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “No sweetheart. You just worry about getting good grades and playing your lacrosse.” He paused for a beat. “We don’t tell you both this enough, but we’re so proud of you.” Confused expressions appeared on each of the twins’ faces.

Mrs. Wesley chimed in, “Mr. Simmons spoke very highly of you both. Now, you know as well as I do, that this bounty hunting story will get out and ruin the reputation of this family.” The girls hung their heads, preparing for the blow. “But my gosh, the stories!” Sterling and Blair shared an incredulous look. “Sterling did you really shoot out five lightbulbs from fifty feet away with only a _handgun_?” Mrs. Wesley was in awe.

“Y – Yes ma’am.”

“My goodness! I know we’ve never talked about my sharpshooter award, but like momma like daughter huh?” Sterling jolted a bit at the daughter statement, but when Mrs. Wesley moved to give her a squeeze on the couch, she relaxed into the embrace. Sterling couldn’t help but smile at the infectious energy emitted by Mrs. Wesley. No, her mom.

“And Blair, did you really take down a full-grown man with an old woman’s cane?” Mr. Wesley asked with excitement in his eyes.

Blair practically giggled, “Yes sir, I sure did.”

“Incredible. I would love to have seen that.” His eyes shone with pride as the moment settled into silence. “Well, I’ve actually got some good news too. I called up some contacts, and I’m grabbing lunch tomorrow with a group of guys as a formality really. If they seem alright by me, I’ll start working at their firm.” His wife beamed at him.

“Oh wow, that’s great Dad!” Blair was genuinely relieved.

“Well thank you sugar. It’s a much bigger operation than Big Daddy’s outfit, but I can bring my client-base with me, and we shouldn’t have to be drinking that Mexican orange juice anymore.”

Once the celebration over brand name orange juice died down, the girls’ mother brought the discussion back to more serious matters. “Now we are so proud of you both. We’ve been made sick over all this lying, so we’re keeping the phones for a while longer, but we love you so much, and nothing can change that. We want you to be able to tell us about what’s going on with y’all. No more secrets, alright?”

“No more secrets.”

“No ma’am.”

“Good. Now, Blair, if you would like, your dad and I think it’d be alright for you to continue Jiu-Jitsu.”

“Really?” Blair thought her face might crack in half from the thousand-Watt smile she was sporting.

“Yes, sugar snap. We have to iron out the details once you lot are out of house arrest, but we think it’s a constructive activity for you.” He stood up and stretched, “Speaking of sugar snaps, I think I might be needing a dessert. Do we have any cookies around here?”

Blair popped up and started towards the kitchen, “I made Jell-O today for Sterling.”

“Is it lime?” He asked hopefully.

“Of course,” Blair returned, their voices growing fainter as they walked into the other room, “So how would you feel about a criminal justice major…?”

Sterling and her mom stayed snuggled on the couch. She needed this time. It had been over a month since the lock-in, but not very much felt resolved. “M – Mom?” she began.

“Yeah sweetie?”

It felt easier to talk to the mom of her life this way, with her head snuggled into her shoulder. Their eyes didn’t have to meet. Sterling took a breath. “How do you know when to, like, trust someone?”

Her mom stiffened a bit in response. “Is this about me?”

“Well, yes and no. When people keep things from you, like, obviously that’s bad, right?”

She let out a heavy sigh. “I want you to know that it weighs on me so heavy that we had to do that to you girls. We thought we were doing what was best for you.”

“Do you think that matters? The intention of the lie, I mean?”

“I do. I think if you’re trying to protect someone from a world of hurt, it can be justified.” The arm around her daughter squeezed affectionately.

“So how can you tell when it’s for good or for bad?”

“Hmm. Sometimes you really can’t honey,” she pondered for a bit, “But even when you and Blair were hunting around for answers, did you ever feel threatened by me? Or by whatever truth you might find?”

“No.”

“And why not?”

“Because I knew you loved me,” Sterling’s voice was tight with unexpressed emotions.

“You should, and the good Lord knows that I do. You see, I think you know deep down in your heart whether or not to trust someone, even if they stray.”

Sterling wondered briefly what lay deep down in her own heart. “Your heart or your gut?”

Her mom chuckled, “Whichever is talking louder I suppose.”

They fell into a pensive silence for a while.

“Mom?”

“Yes Sterling.”

“Do you regret hiding all of that from us?”

“You know baby, I’m not really sure.”

Though the rest of the evening consisted of snack foods and some pretty hilarious impressions of Gary Durbin rolling around on glass, Sterling just couldn’t quite relax. She could sense Blair noticing her tension, but her twin seemed to be giving her space to process everything.

Sterling tossed and turned for the rest of that night. She’d had about enough excitement in her life for quite a while, she decided. Thrills were just fine when they consisted of wrangling criminals and secretly making out with the _prettiest_ girl after school, but this was getting ridiculous. Her family was still reeling from the kidnapping, and if she were being honest with herself, so was she. Now their finances were in danger. What if they had to move to stay afloat? She’d never had to worry about money before. Missing class as much as she did this semester probably meant she was behind in school too, and now she couldn’t even ask the smartest girl in school for help. The prettiest girl, the smartest girl, with the nicest hair, the softest lips, and the most intense demeanor… Every time she closed her eyes her brain produced scenarios in which she asked all of the right questions, heard all of the right answers, and was kissed in all of the right ways.

Sterling rolled over in bed with a frustrated growl, as though somehow the cooler half of her pillow could redirect her thoughts. It was no use. She’d never wished she had her phone more. She could use that chat application to get all of the answers she needed. It was with a sinking feeling in her stomach that she remembered the gag order, and that certainly online chats counted as talking. She briefly considered the concept of hibernating until the lawsuit was finished. At least that slowed the hamster wheel in her brain down for a while.

Everything her mom said now filtered through her thoughts, about how intent can matter. The only thing April had asked of her was to trust her. Did she trust April enough to believe she had the best intentions? Sterling’s logic and emotions were at complete odds. She flashed through every memory of April: her silly salsa dance at the debate tournament, holding up the condom wrapper in Fellowship, being kissed in the bathroom, seeing her flirt with Luke, the crushing hug in the Charger, being ignored in the halls, her promising to be there no matter what, and a question without an answer: _maybe someday, though?_

-

At their parents’ behest, the girls handed in the legal note at the front office. They figured it would be more subtle to inform the school, once, that they couldn’t speak to April Stevens, rather than hand out a notice to the teacher in each class they shared with her. Despite their efforts, it didn’t take long for the rumors to spread over the rest of the week. The twins were certain that Mr. Stevens himself was leading a personal smear campaign across the links of the club.

Soon every hallway and classroom they entered held that specific brand of unnatural silence that only follows when the subjects of discussion suddenly appear. This was Christian condemnation at its finest. Even the most scandalous of previous Wesley transgressions had been handled with mock concern at minimum and a request for testimony. Nobody even went so far as to offer a thought or a prayer. The court of public opinion had seemingly reached a verdict: pariahs.

Friday could not come soon enough. Blair had been so gentle with Sterling through all of the legal revelations, and now that the school had to get involved, she had essentially become her personal bodyguard. To fill the silence that Sterling’s distant ruminations left, Blair had taken to entertaining the concept of a new suitor. Nobody in these hallowed halls would dare touch a woman who could beat up someone’s father, but what if she could have a little fun?

As they grabbed their things from their lockers, Blair had already worked herself into a state thinking about the possibilities. “Sterl, what do you think Jesus would think about me just straight-up using men? Do you think he would forgive me on behalf of every unsatisfied woman since his birth? I feel like if the sins of humanity are looked at as a whole, it’s probably about time some women started evening out-”

“-Blair,” Sterling cut her sister off. Blair looked over, trying to mask the shock crossing her face at Sterling’s sudden departure from selective mutism.

“Oh, so we’re not applying to clown college?”

“What?” Sterling asked blankly.

“I’d already gone through the pamphlets. Figured we could both major in mime until you _woke the hell up_ ,” she giggled at her own joke. Sometimes she swore she deserved a salary for this material.

Sterling couldn’t help but crack a smile in response, shrugging, “I’m sorry. I know it’s the worst. I’ve just been trying to work through things, you know, upstairs?” She gestured to her own head.

“Any revelations?”

“Not Biblically speaking no.”

“We weren’t speaking Biblically though, were we Sterl?”

Sterling let out an irritated huff, “Fine. I just, I can’t decide how I’m supposed to feel about, you know,” she lowered her voice to a whisper, “April.” Blair’s eyes remained trained on her sister, awaiting further babbling to fill in the story. “It’s not like she personally sued us Blair, her dad did. And maybe she heard him mention it, but her house is really bad right now. Maybe her dad told her not to say anything. We just finally had a good thing and now we can’t work through this because of lawyers? It’s, like, the dumbest.”

“You know what all of those options had in common there?” Blair looked smug.

Sterling rolled her eyes, “What?”

“None of them excuse her inaction.”

“-Blair!”

“No Sterl, you don’t get to glaze over this. Sneaky Stevens and her conniving little thirst-trap hands have, once again, led you into a pit of despair with no escape. But now, she’s dragged me and our whole family to hell with you.” The biting whisper lashed out and seemed to physically reach Sterling, who closed her eyes for a long blink.

“No Blair, that’s not fair. We don’t know the whole story.” Sterling couldn’t yet explain why parts of her wanted to believe in the best of April Stevens. She didn’t have the words, or at least, didn’t want to own up to the weight of them yet.

Blair seemed to glance around the halls and take a moment to tamp down the internal fury she’d built up. “Fine, whatever. Agree to disagree.”

“That’s…actually really big of you Blair, thanks.”

“Yeah yeah yeah. I’m just being nice because you’ve had a lot to _take in_ this week.” Sterling narrowed her eyes suspiciously at her sister, but Blair continued with a smile playing on her lips, “You’ve got to _gaze_ within yourself, and smell the fresh _pine_.” Blair was chuckling openly now. “It might be a full _moon_.”

Sterling gave up trying to get any kind of answer from Blair and let her eyes search the halls. It didn’t take long to see what she meant. April was standing at the other end of the hallway by the Fellowship room unabashedly staring at Sterling. If they were on better terms, Sterling might’ve walked up and offered her a handkerchief for her drool. No, who was she kidding? She was never that smooth.

When their eyes met, it felt as though April were earnestly attempting telepathy. Sterling scrunched her face trying to understand but April wasn’t her twin, thank God, and whatever message she was attempting to convey just made her look crazy from the other end of the room.

Blair interrupted Sterling’s complete focus, “It’s like watching a goldfish try to fly.”

Sterling started at the interruption, “Huh?”

“April you dum-dum,” she then attempted her best David Attenborough impression, “The predatory and ferocious April Stevens is suddenly found without words, the primary defense mechanism for her species.”

“Your Russian tourist was more believable than that.” Sterling scoffed as she shoved her sister. She chanced one more glance at her flying goldfish but tore her eyes away before she could really sink into it. She’d never admit it out loud, but maybe Blair was right, all signs pointed to this being a pit of despair. Remembering her legal counsel, Sterling collected herself and ambled with her sister to their first class.

Later, and for the first time in what felt like eons, Sterling found herself sitting alone at lunch. She could feel the judgmental eyes of the student body upon her. Phoneless and universally shunned, she had no way to check in with Blair to amend the situation. As it always did, her mind returned to the mental screensaver of everything she’d gone through since the lock-in. Sometimes repeating the events to herself helped her feel settled. Yes, it was all real. No, you don’t have to feel okay about it.

As a tall figure loomed over her, she corrected her earlier assumption of being universally shunned. “Hey Luke,” she peered up at him, “Wanna sit?”

Luke’s eyes darted around, probably trying to reason through the potential consequences of picking a side in this fight. “N - not today Sterl. I just wanted to know if you were alright? You didn’t answer any of my texts, and there’s all these rumors…”

“Yeah, so Blair and I are locked up tighter than Rikers. No phones, no fun. I wasn’t ignoring you or anything. I wouldn’t do that.” She smiled shyly at the boy who might be her only ally.

Luke blew out a swift breath that made his cheeks puff out, “Okay, yeah, that’s a relief.” He put his hands in his pockets and lowered his voice, “So, is it true? D - Did you beat up April’s dad and then take his boat for a joy ride? Or was it that he tried to, uh, kidnap you, and Blair saved you with a shotgun?”

Sterling grimaced at the casual mention of kidnapping. “Sorry Luke, I’d tell you if I could. Our lawyer said we really shouldn’t talk about it.”

Luke’s eyes went wide as though the non-answer had confirmed even the most ridiculous gossip he’d heard. “Hey, I get it. Well, not really, but it’s okay.” He scratched the back of his neck and looked around the room for a moment. “Sterl-girl if anyone’s like, being mean to you. You don’t deserve that, okay? I’m still here for you.”

“Wow. That’s, like, so sweet Luke,” she got up from her chair and gave him a quick hug. He reacted stiffly for a moment before relaxing into it. “Thank you,” she mumbled into his chest before stepping away.

He blushed a little bit at the contact, shaking his hair out of his eyes to regain his composure. “Any time. I’ll, uh, see you around Sterl.” She nodded in response and he strode swiftly away with his hands in his pockets.

Sterling was solo again, but she didn’t feel alone. She had this odd sensation as though the room had become like a growing droplet of water: increasingly straining to maintain its shape as it battled the physics of surface tension. It wasn’t hard to identify the source. When she looked up, she very quickly met the eyes of all three members of the Holy Trinity, two of whom looked away upon being noticed, and the shortest of whom seemed to take the eye contact as a personal challenge. April flicked her eyes briefly in the direction of Luke’s departure. The gesture seemed to say, “Noted.” Sterling was not typically a competitive person, but this Rubik’s cube of a human brought out the strangest qualities in her, and what did she have left to lose now? For all the students enjoying lunch at Willingham in that moment, the room might as well have just held the two of them.

April rose to the occasion, literally, shaking off Ezekiel’s concerned hand as she extricated herself from the lunch table, smoothed out her pants, and started making her way to Sterling. Each step of April’s approach seemed to double Sterling’s heartrate, and it felt like the shorter girl could tell, because her lips pursed to the side as though she were hiding a smile.

Was everyone else suddenly experiencing a hole in the space-time continuum? Because Sterling was certain that in this moment, April was approaching her in slow motion. Sterling’s heart would give out before she even made it near her.

The sound of Blair slamming her bag onto the table made Sterling jump so high that she dropped her fork. Suddenly, April rolled back onto her heels with her eyes blinking furiously and detoured over to the garbage cans to pretend to throw something out.

“Guess who has two thumbs, and just had an orgasm on school grounds!?” Blair asked as she pointed to herself with those very two same thumbs.

“Wait, what?” Sterling was still shaken from that bizarre interaction, but she turned to give Blair her full attention.

“So you remember earlier when I was talking about women evening out the scales of the universe’s orgasm tally?”

“To be honest, uh, not really Blair, no.” Sterling picked up her fork and resumed eating her lunch.

“Well, first of all, rude,” Blair scoffed.

“Fair, my bad.”

“Second of all, I’m really running with this. Nobody likes us anyway, so what do we have to lose?”

“Pessimistic, but I need to hear more.”

“I just walked right up to Owen Caruthers after class and asked him to make out with me.”

“Owen Caruthers! He’s your top hottest guy at Willingham!” Sterling dropped her fork again and quickly clapped for her twin.

“I know Sterl, you’re in the presence of greatness.”

“And humility,” she smirked, “What happened?”

“We went out to his car. He looked, so hot, like homeless chic, you know?”

“Yeah…and?” Sterling was hanging on every word.

“Well we made out. Then I basically coached him to finger me, you know, _correctly_ , got off, and bolted,” Blair blurted out quickly like she was confessing to a crime.

“Wait, really? You didn’t talk about it? You have to see this boy everyday Blair! How can this not be weird?” Sterling’s scandalous whisper was laced with excitement.

“I’ve joked about enlightenment a lot with you. But I’m seriously approaching it here. It’s the perfect crime! He’ll never admit to anyone that he fingered the school outcast, and I got a free orgasm. We’re reclaiming the right to finish first Sterl! Who cares if the guy gets off! Down with the patriarchy!”

“Potentially bad sister perspective here, but I kind of _love_ this journey for you. Life’s been screwing with us enough.”

“Karma owed me this hand job.”

“Honestly, I’m here for it.”


	11. Biscuits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I am a full-time student and part-time hot mess, so this semester has been _wild._ Homework, what's that?
> 
> This chapter is dealing with some of the issues that we were left with in the finale. We're struggling on our faith journeys y'all.
> 
> Love you guys. Let me know what you think! Let me know what you'd like to see! (I promise more Stepril content is coming!)
> 
> I also find it important to say the following: Fuck Chick-fil-A. I personally do not give them my business because of their history of donating to anti-LGBT organizations. Despite this, the restaurant is canonically significant for both the show and the greater Atlanta area in general. It's a part of the story, whether we like it or not.

“You find it yet?”

The shout reached Blair’s ears, and she stood up wiping the sweat from her brow. “Not yet Dad!”

The reflective hunting vest that her dad had insisted upon for this activity did nothing to help keep her cool. She looked over to see him leaning out of the window of the air-conditioned truck with a patronizing smile on his face. He seemed to enjoy watching his grounded daughter comb the highway for an old phone, among other refuse. It only made sense to pick up any trash she found on the way. The things she did for love.

She bent back over and resumed the search. After the disastrous fight before the lock-in, Blair had a lot of time to consider what Sterling had said to her in her angriest moment. Honesty was hard enough when dealing with others, but with herself, it was actually painful. She really did seek out the highest level of drama, and with the exception of bounty hunting, it didn’t usually tend to pay off. The hours she spent practicing yoga were very helpful for her to cycle through this thought process.

First, she wanted to reclaim her sexuality. She’d taken the time to heal from what she had with Miles, but when she’d realized that all of her satisfying experiences centered around a boy who wouldn’t make space for her in his life, she knew she needed to change her story. Getting finger-banged by Owen Caruthers was just the first step in reframing the narrative.

The second step was to manifest better outcomes for herself. If she visualized who she wanted to be, she could become that person. She needed to put positive energy out into the universe in hopes that it would make its way back to her. If it didn’t, well, hopefully the act of doing good things would buoy her attitude. Which is why, in the heat and humidity of this Georgia spring, she was searching highway right-of-way for Sterling’s broken iPhone while her dad chuckled at her from a distance. Fortunately, not for very much longer…

“I FOUND IT!” She held the phone high in the air cackling in triumph. She pranced back to the truck with it above her as though it guaranteed her a tour of a chocolate factory. Once the door was shut behind her, she allowed the coolness of the cabin to seep into her bones.

Her dad offered her a water, “How’s it look sugar snap?”

She finally looked down at her prize. The screen was completely destroyed, and there appeared to be water damage from the many rains that had passed through since the lock-in. “Well, it’s not great, but I know a guy.”

Her dad seemed taken aback as he pulled the truck back onto the road, “ _You_ know a guy?”

Blair couldn’t keep the smugness off of her face as she responded, “Yeah, just take me to that strip mall where the Jiu-Jitsu place is.”

A short drive, and a choice selection of Creedence Clearwater Revival hits later, Blair was hopping out of the truck with a wad of cash and the decimated iPhone.

“Honey, did you want me to come with-“

Her dad’s question was cut off by the slam of the truck door. She strode into the tech repair shop and was greeted with the crinkly-eyed smile of her Jiu-Jitsu classmate Jim.

“Well Howdy-Doody young lady. I thought you might’ve quit on me.”

“Ah, I couldn’t do that Jim. I’d miss you too much.” His smile grew impossibly wider. “Just got into the tiniest spot of trouble with the parents,” she pinched her fingers close together and squinted.

“Can’t imagine how you’d manage that,” he teased. “What can I do for you?”

Blair plopped the decimated iPhone on the counter, “I’m going to need whatever data you can pull from this. Is that possible? I have the passcode if you need it.”

Jim put his reading glasses on with one hand while he studied the iPhone with the other. After a moment he looked up to meet Blair’s eyes through his glasses. “I can…”

“I’m sensing a but here, is there a but?” Blair’s tone betrayed her pretense of patience.

Jim sighed and put his glasses back down on the counter, leveling Blair with a heavy look. “Listen, I think you’re a good kid and all, but I’ve got to ask, whose phone is this? Because I don’t want to be invading anyone’s privacy by digging up anything personal. I didn’t think I’d ever have to toe this line in a repair shop but…”

Blair quickly jumped in as he hesitated, “Oh my gosh, no way. Please, Jim, this is my sister’s phone, my twin, Sterling. It was…” she gulped for a bit at the memory, “…stolen from her and I found it so I could get her some of her old pictures and messages back. She’s not a believer in backing up data. I try with her, but you can’t win ‘em all, you know.”

Jim’s shoulders seemed to relax as he heard Blair’s rambling response. “That’s - that’s alright. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable young lady. It’s just been a weird couple of weeks.”

“No, not at all. I’m glad you’re being ethical about it.” She smiled to ease the tension a bit. “Is everything, you know, okay?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ve just had to draw a line in the sand with the data retrieval lately.” He straightened up a bit and pulled his shoulders back. “Guy in a fancy sports car, trying to prove how tough he is…I don’t care how loud someone gets with me; I’m not pulling data from their kid’s phone! It’s not their business!”

“Woah, people are trying to force you to snoop on their kids?” Blair leaned in and considered patting Jim’s hand before thinking better of it, “I’m sorry. That’s heavy stuff.”

“Yeah well, that’s what the Jiu-Jitsu is for, huh?” he shrugged. “Now usually, this’d take about an hour, but for a friend, I think I can swing thirty minutes. You’re looking at $100 to $300 depending on how fried this thing is, and what you want out of it. It’s all on this form here.” He handed Blair a form, which she happily filled out.

After thirty minutes, during which she and her dad priced out the Jiu-Jitsu classes next door, she held in her hands a USB with the entire contents of Sterling’s old iPhone. With this action, despite the crashing waves omnipresent in their lives this year, Blair could feel the tides beginning to change.

-

“What are you, a pagan now or something?” Sterling’s harsh whisper reached Blair as she skipped past her with their parents’ approval and the keys to the Volt. “Only witchcraft could lift that grounding!”

Blair was smug. “Not at all sis, I’ve just got those oral presentation skills.”

“I’d argue, but a pretty long list of men are probably on your side.” Sterling stuck her tongue out at her sister as she grabbed her purse.

Blair was so relieved that Sterling was willing to make a joke, she didn’t even mind being the butt of it for once. She, of course, had been laying the groundwork for this trip all day. She had their dad out of the house very early with the search for the cell phone and waffled through a response when their mom asked her about lunch and dinner. Blair _needed_ Chick-fil-A, but she was also hopeful that they could stop by Yogurtopia to touch base with Bowser while they were out.

She and Sterling could practically feel the freedom coursing through their bodies. Blair jogged, but Sterling skipped to the Volt while their mom called from the front door, “Make sure you get extra sauce and biscuits!”

As soon as they got in the car, Blair wriggled in her seat until she managed to pull the USB out of her pocket, immediately holding it out to Sterling.

Sterling stared down at her sister’s palm, “Wha-?”

“Would you just take it?” Blair bristled, and Sterling hesitantly obeyed. “Okay, so I know you’ve been going through a lot since…you know.” Sterling nodded, confusion knitting her brow. “I, well, Dad drove, but we found your old phone, and my friend helped us get the data off of it.” Sterling’s eyes widened, and Blair’s speech became a little more like a ramble. “I don’t know how much he could, like, get from it. I love you, but I really did tell you, like, a million times to back up your data. I just – I guess I thought that maybe if you could look through your old pictures and messages, you’d feel more…connected to all of us.”

Once she noticed that Sterling’s eyes were watering, Blair’s voice seemed to swoop up at the end, turning the whole monologue into a giant question. One that was immediately answered with Sterling launching across the center console and squeezing Blair with all of her might.

Sterling’s voice was muffled by the hug. “How did I get the kindest, prettiest, toughest, most unique sister in the whole universe?”

Blair pulled away, misty-eyed, keeping her hands on her twin’s shoulders, “Stop it, you’re too much!”

“I won’t!”

“So this is okay? You like this?”

Sterling’s stomach flipped a little bit thinking about the laser tag photo that she knew awaited her on that USB. She nodded, “I don’t think it’ll be easy, but I think it’ll help. There’s just one problem…”

A slight panic raised in Blair’s response, “What?”

“How can I order Chick-fil-A with you right here,” Sterling waved a hand in front of her face, “blinding me with your beauty?”

Blair had to giggle at that. She flapped her hands through the air, “Well why are we driving, when your angel wings could easily fly us there?” Sterling snorted into her squeakiest laugh, as Blair started up the Volt.

The ride to Chick-fil-A was peaceful once the twins had settled their distinct differences in music preference. Sterling gave Blair free reign of anything excepting Cannibal Corpse and Kacey Musgraves, so The Chick’s _Taking the Long Way_ album was blasting out of the speakers with the windows down. Blair had heard that they’d changed their name to something less racist, so she was a nascent fan, streaming their work to support the gesture. Sterling was just relieved to hear something that didn’t require double drum pedals to perform.

It was the perfect day for a drive, the sun streamed into the car from every available entrance, and the ambient air was cool enough to not require cranked air conditioning. Sterling leaned her arm out of the passenger window and drank in the moment with a melancholy smile.

They ordered a ridiculous amount of chicken and biscuits, mostly because they had their dad’s credit card, but also because they knew that the extra time needed to prepare the order was more time they could spend twirling around in public as free women, as though the hills were alive with the sound of chicken. The cashier even cracked a smile as she saw the two of them messing about by the tables, but it didn’t last long because someone else had just entered the restaurant.

“NOBODY MOVE!” The man yelled, waving a sawed-off shotgun around the restaurant, “HANDS IN THE AIR!” The man sported a worn-out baseball cap on his head, and all but his eyes were covered with a folded bandana. Nobody had any choice but to obey. 

The adrenaline and shock had a strange effect on Sterling. In a period of no more than four seconds it felt like her stomach was going to drop out of her body, followed by a single wave of nausea, and ending with her palms sweating and shaking, just waiting for her to act. She chanced a glance over at Blair, and her own face journey seemed to indicate the same response.

The man approached the counter and started demanding money. The cashier slowly followed his orders with her hands raised whenever possible. Her eyes met Blair’s for a moment, and she could see the intent clear as day: _Help! ___

__Blair turned to Sterling for a twin moment, “We have to do something, right?”_ _

__“Right,” a hardened look had taken on Sterling’s face._ _

__“Wait, what about the lawyer?” Blair asked._ _

__“Screw the lawyer,” Sterling retorted, and Blair was taken aback at her intensity. “Keep his attention away from me, okay?”_ _

__“Got it.”_ _

__At this point the cashier was rifling through the register, and the man looked back at the girls. “I SAID HANDS IN THE AIR! NO FUNNY BUSINESS AND NOBODY GETS HURT!” They jolted at having been noticed again._ _

__Blair, keeping her hands in the air, started slowly making her way to the front counter, and the man’s eyes followed her. “Listen, this isn’t what you want to do. This’ll ruin your life.”_ _

__His gun stayed pointing at the cashier, but his full attention was on Blair._ _

__“I will fucking shoot you if you don’t freeze RIGHT NOW!” Blair’s pupils dilated under the threat, and the adrenaline seemed to slow down the chain of events as she perceived them._ _

__Sterling appeared behind the man, wielding Bowser’s taser from her purse. With a harsh voice she answered, “Watch your mouth, sir,” raised the taser at the man’s back, and fired. When the nodes of the taser reached him, every muscle in his body appeared to contract at once. He yelled loudly, dropping the shotgun, and fell facedown onto the floor._ _

__The cashier yelled out, “Oh my God!” and it seemed to jerk Blair out of her shock. She quickly picked up the gun and tossed it over the man’s writhing body to Sterling who caught it smoothly and trained the weapon on their captive. Blair quickly removed her belt and used it to fasten the man’s hands together behind his back._ _

__Blair kept a boot on top of his back and pulled out her own taser, just in case, as she scanned the surroundings for another threat. Something caught her eye outside the restaurant, and she called out, “Silver Toyota, Georgia plate, starts with…E-R-H!”_ _

__“Uh, what?” Sterling looked up from the man for a moment._ _

__“The car that just sped off when this guy went down,” Blair answered calmly._ _

__Sterling’s mouth popped open in disbelief, “You are a deity, I’m unworthy.” The man groaned, as though he agreed with the sentiment._ _

__“I try,” she thought for a moment, “Bet you this dude’s worth something,” she perked her eyebrows at her sister._ _

__The staff of the restaurant seemed to recover from their own shock. Someone in the back was on the phone and called aloud that the police were on their way. The cashier approached the girls slowly, “T-thank you. You just… Thanks.” She seemed to take a few breaths to steady herself. “Are y’all alright? The ch-chicken is free. Whatever you want.”_ _

__Sterling couldn’t help but notice that the poor cashier was visibly shaking. “Oh my gosh, that’s so sweet. Yeah, we’re fine,” Sterling answered gently, looking down at the cashier’s name tag, “Are you okay…Laura?” She hoped that using the woman's name would help calm her down a bit._ _

__“Y-yes. I think. I’ll feel better once the police are here. Do y’all need anything?”_ _

__Blair cut in, “Actually, could we use someone’s phone?” The faint sound of approaching sirens punctuated the request._ _

__Laura’s shaky hand offered Blair an iPhone. After a moment of navigating something or other on the screen, Blair put it to her ear. “Hey Bowsie,” she looked down with a smirk at the man under her boot, “Don’t say we never gave you anything.”_ _


	12. I Miss You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy(?) Election Day! I, for one, could use some serotonin so hopefully this update can give y'all a boost as well.  
> Be gentle with yourselves, be kind, stay hydrated, and let me know what you think of this story so far! We will persevere.
> 
> [Shitpost with me on Tumblr.](https://aristeia.tumblr.com/)

The police arrived first, quickly followed by Bowser. The officers were swift about taking the man into custody but questioning everyone in the restaurant took quite a while. They seemed especially impressed with Blair’s recollection of the getaway car, which Bowser was able to leverage to finagle some bounty money out of the capture, who apparently had skipped bail on a theft charge before. He fist-bumped each of the girls with a gruff, “Good looking out.”

“We miss you Bowsie,” Sterling clapped him on the shoulder once she and Blair were done talking to the police.

“Yeah, and we _might_ need some new tasers if that’s okay.”

Bowser raised an eyebrow and mumbled something about kids being the death of him.

Blair was beginning to squirm at the thought of explaining this to their parents, so she shot Sterling a meaningful look and nudged her head in the direction of the Volt.

Sterling got the hint immediately, “We’ll text you once we get off of house arrest!”

“…If we ever get off of house arrest,” Blair was less optimistic.

The twins started making their way to the exit, but were stopped first by the cashier, Laura, who was smiling and holding up two giant bags of food. “Y’all, thank you so much. This is on us.”

They were mostly silent the whole way home, and they pulled into the driveway dreading what awaited them. A quick stop to Chick-fil-A had turned into a two-hour police bust, and they could practically feel the heat of their mother’s simmering rage all the way from outside.

“We’ve got to tell them, you know,” Sterling began.

Blair sighed, “Yeah, well, at least we’ve got a metric ton of chicken.”

Presenting said tonnage of chicken to their parents did nothing to alleviate the situation. They stood stock still with their arms crossed just waiting.

Blair took a steadying breath and began explaining, “Okay, before we get into anything, I just want to say that we’re both safe.”

“Yeah,” Sterling added, “We’re both totally fine. The police were really-”

“The _police_?” their mother started pinching the bridge of her nose between two fingers.

Blair bristled at the lack of faith, “Can you please listen? _Please?_ ” Their father remained silent, choosing to nod instead. “We were buying the food, doing everything right, and a man came in and tried to rob the restaurant at gunpoint.”

There was a beat during which no Wesley dared breathe.

Sterling broke the tension, “We’re fine though, everything’s fine. We were able to call Bowser from a borrowed phone and he came and checked up on us.” She tactfully omitted the part where she and Blair had a wad of cash headed their way for the help.

Their mother’s eyebrow perked, “You should’ve called _us_.”

Before anyone could address that, their dad cut in quietly saying, “Now hold on a minute, what do you mean _’tried_ to rob the restaurant’?”

Sterling squirmed at the direct question and shot Blair a look, effectively handing the floor back to her. Blair puffed her cheeks out with a quick exhale and proceeded carefully, “We were able to stop the guy and hold him until the police arrived.”

Their father narrowed his eyes, “How?”

Sterling jumped in to spare Blair the full focus of the conversation, “We had tasers in our purses for…self-defense reasons. When he was distracted, I tased him.”

“Then I tied him up with my belt,” Blair added. Their mother’s mouth fell open. Blair hesitated for a moment before adding, “We saw the getaway car, so now the cops have a solid lead on the accomplice.” Their father seemed to be taking everything in.

“The chicken was free,” Sterling said, hoping to lighten the mood. It came out sounding like a question.

Their dad squeezed both of their shoulders, “Well we’re sure glad you’re both alright.” He looked over at his wife, his expression weary, “I’m going to call the lawyer. Hopefully this doesn’t…affect anything.” He walked down the hall towards his study.

“Girls, I hope you didn’t intentionally put yourselves in harm’s way,” she eyed them both, “Did you?”

Blair was careful with her choice of words, “We did what we had to do.” Their mother pursed her lips.

“May the Lord protect you both with that attitude,” she scoffed, relaxing the tiniest bit despite her words. She pulled both of her daughters into a quick hug, “I’m not thrilled here, but at least you’re both safe, no matter how many gray hairs y’all brought me.”

-

Church was a subdued affair. By then the entire congregation had heard about the lawsuit, so whispers and daring stares followed the Wesley and Stevens families wherever they went. Coincidentally, all of the Wesleys wore muted earth tones, as though they knew they were attending the funeral for their own repute in the community.

The twins’ mom had a slightly glassy look in her eyes for the duration of mass, and their dad never left her untended, taking the time to hold her hand or offer a comforting touch periodically. It was an act of love, that much was obvious to Sterling. Her parents comforted each other naturally. They were so in sync with one another’s needs without needing to voice it.

As she reflected back on her time with Luke, she remembered feeling love. She’d loved him as best she could, but there was a fluidity to it that was missing: an unspoken bond that for some reason, was never quite there. He would give her whatever she asked for, but she had to ask. Her relationship with April, by contrast, never made it far enough to justify really even calling it a relationship. Every emotion was so raw, so fresh, that she couldn’t differentiate what was a factor of them as a couple from what was specifically _April_ about it. When did that unfettered attraction in a relationship turn into true understanding? As she sat there willing the time to pass, she focused on that, rather than how stifling the air felt with the Stevens family so close, or how full her bladder had become. 

Sterling and Blair couldn’t help but notice throughout the mass that everyone was turning around in their seats periodically to glance between the two families, or just outright gawk at the twins. April, however, was perfectly still at the end of the Stevens family pew, never once looking anywhere but the altar. Luke turned a few times just to raise his eyebrows, as though he were checking in with Sterling to make sure she was okay. Each time he did, Sterling gave a minute nod. When Mrs. Creswell turned to stare, he nudged his mother to get her to refocus, and Sterling’s heart swelled the tiniest bit for Luke in that moment. Her own mother had seen it and cleared her throat, her eyes still watery.

She met Blair’s eyes for a twin moment. “Mom is falling apart at the seams! This is all our fault!”

Blair let her shoulders sink under the tense atmosphere of the church, “You’re right. God, I feel like Hester Prynne. Nobody’s waiting to hear our side of the story!”

“We can’t tell them our side of the story anyway Blair, remember?”

“Shit, I forgot.”

“Language.”

Blair rolled her eyes at Sterling.

“Not to be, whatever, but I think someone might’ve turned Medusa herself into stone. She doesn’t even look like she’s breathing,” Blair said, nodding her head in the direction of the Stevens’s pew.

Something seemed to harden in Sterling’s eyes, “She’s just protecting herself.”

“Yeah but what about _you_?” Blair shot back.

Sterling didn’t bite back at the obvious venom in her sister’s voice, “I really have to pee, that’s ‘what about me’ so if Pastor Booth could hustle up here that’d be great.” Blair rolled her eyes at the obvious attempt to change the subject, breaking the twin moment to quickly shoot a snarling dirty look at an impassive April.

As soon as Pastor Booth ended the service, Sterling signaled to her parents and made a beeline for the restroom, which, unfortunately for her bladder, was in the basement of the church.

The basement always had this vaguely musty smell, as though it had just managed to get dry again after flooding. When paired with the sight and faint aroma of the dated knotty pine walls, the whole space felt like a giant coffin. Sterling was relieved to be shot of it soon, and she was washing her hands as fast as possible when the door opened again.

It was April.

April made no pretense about her purpose there, walking swiftly towards Sterling while her eyes scanned her from top to bottom. Sterling recoiled slightly at her approach, recognizing a faintly offended expression as it crossed the face of the shorter girl.

“I just – Are you okay?” April’s eyes continued to take stock of Sterling’s form.

Sterling’s eyes widened at the invasiveness of the gaze pressed upon her, “You know we’re not supposed to-”

“I asked you a question. Are you okay?” April’s commanding demeanor sought control of the conversation.

“Yes. I’m okay.” Sterling was confused, and it showed plainly on her face. Why the concern now? It’s not like she’d heard so much as a single apology since April had failed to inform her of the lawsuit.

April’s voice came out in a sharp whisper, she was still searching Sterling’s face, “Well thank God! You – you were robbed! At gunpoint! I read it this morning, and I’ve been worried sick. It took every ounce of me not to vomit at breakfast.”

Sterling scrunched her brow as her mouth fell gently open, “You _read_ it?”

“Sterl, you’re the featured local news story in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Well, Blair too. There’s a picture and everything.”

“ _What?_ ” The gears were turning in Sterling’s head as her eyes shot around the room. How on earth would their lawyer spin this to make Blair and her look sane? How could the paper even write a story about minors without their consent? She raked her fingers through her hair in frustration and started pacing in the small space. Great, just great. She couldn’t do anything right.

“Hey,” April prompted softly, but Sterling continued frantically pacing. “ _Hey,_ ” April’s firm grasp on her upper arm pulled her out of her deliberation, “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

Sterling was anxious, so tightly wound from too many life-changing events. She rounded on April, lashing out in frustration.

“Since when do _you_ care anyway?” She regretted it as soon as the sentence passed her lips.

Uncharacteristically, April didn’t return fire. She merely crossed her arms, tilted her head to the side, and blinked up at Sterling with an eyebrow raised. Sterling could practically hear the message it conveyed: _Seriously?_

Sterling scrunched her eyes shut and placed a careful fist to her forehead. “That’s not – I mean,” she lightly tapped the fist to her forehead repeatedly, “I can’t do anything right.” It felt good for her to finally say that out loud. She resumed pacing, waving her hands around as though it would make this make sense. “We’re not even supposed to be talking, and you should’ve told me about your dad, and Blair says I should hate-”

Sterling stopped pacing and collected herself with a steadying breath, her eyes focusing on those of the girl in front of her, the girl who knew to be here without being asked. There was a measure of vulnerability there, floating amongst the oceanic colors, that she was certain not many people were allowed to see. What was left of her frustration floated away in its depths, “Thank you for checking on me.”

April’s face softened when that last sentiment reached her ears, and a crooked melancholy smile stretched across her lips. She slowly approached Sterling, who was locked in place, and stretched onto her tiptoes to leave a lingering kiss upon her cheek. When the shorter girl pulled back, she remained close. Sterling could feel the wind from her breath as April gently spoke, “I miss you.”

As quickly as she’d entered, she was gone.

-

The car ride home was awkwardly silent. Sterling couldn’t exactly reveal the information to her parents without also admitting that she’d spoken to April, so she told Blair via a twin moment, and spent the rest of the ride rubbing her cheek with her hand. It seemed oddly warm.

Once home, Sterling and Blair crowded in front of Sterling’s laptop screen. There it was, on the front page of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution website, only in the local news section, but still. A headline: _Teenage Twins Thwart Armed Robbery_ When they clicked on the article, there was a photograph taken before the police had arrived. Blair pointing a taser at a man underfoot while looking off into the distance, and Sterling wielding a sawed-off shotgun trained at his back.

“Laura…” Sterling grumbled at the photo, “That cashier didn’t tell us she was taking the photo!”

“She didn’t have to,” Blair noted.

Sterling wrinkled her nose in distaste, “Armed robbery? Who are they paying over there anyway? Teenage Twins Thwart _Theft_ was _right there._ How do you miss that?”

“Can I say it?” Blair begged.

Sterling was already attempting damage control, “Blair, no, it won’t help.”

“Please?” Blair asked again. Sterling rested with the heel of her palm on her forehead and let out a deep breath. “We look _so fucking cool_!” Blair squealed. “Oh my God! With the boot on his back! You with the shotgun! This is the greatest thing ever!”

Sterling squinted at the laptop screen, “I mean, my hair does look pretty good there.”

“See? This is awesome. I don’t care what anyone says.”

“Not really looking forward to telling mom and dad though,” Sterling retorted.

“I don’t even care. I’m making this my profile picture on _everything._ ” Blair admitted.

Sterling lightly slapped her on the wrist. “Do you think anyone’s read this yet?”

Blair rolled her eyes, “Do I think anyone has read the newspaper on a Sunday after mass? Get real, everyone’s seen it.”

Sterling turned away, clenching her fists in frustration, “Ugh! I want my dang phone! Why can’t we do anything right?”

Blair grabbed her sister’s wrist to stop her pacing, “Sterl, we did _everything_ right this time. We weren’t bounty hunting, we were minding our own business, and we might’ve saved that woman’s life!”

“But we made everything worse for mom and dad.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”


	13. Stupid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I appreciate your patience with this update. I work two jobs and I live in a tent!
> 
> Our lovely ladies of the lake are coming, and shit's going to get _wild!_  
>  Thanks to this wonderful community. Your stories get me through the tough days.
> 
> Side bar: Why does everyone on AO3 spell 'Ezekiel' like 'Ezequiel'?
> 
> Thank you for reading.

In the curveball nobody saw coming, Mr. Clark, the Wesley family lawyer, was really excited about the newspaper article. According to their parents, he’d said something along the lines of “good press is always the best character witness.” Now able to exhale fully, their parents had resumed their silent pride for their daughter’s actions. Blair had even heard her dad bragging about it on the phone to, what sounded like, a very scandalized Big Daddy.

Blair was practically buzzing from the approval. She had already used her laptop to change her default photo on all of her social media accounts to the one of her with a boot on the back of an armed robber. This article could be her ticket to the criminal justice program at UGA. She was also debating the merits of making a TikTok about the capture once she had her phone back.

Apparently, the Creswell’s had given Luke permission to associate with the disgraced Wesleys again in public because he greeted the twins with an only somewhat awkward double hug upon their entry to Willingham on Monday. Blair knew she was the only one who noticed how uncomfortable Sterling was with the show of affection, because she saw her sister glanced around afterwards to see if anyone else had seen it. Well, not just _anyone_ else. Ugh, she didn’t even want to think about the life-ruiner.

Blair wasn’t stupid, she knew Sterling was still soft for April, probably even more so than before. She swore to God her sister was a hopeless bisexual. A kiss on the cheek? That was all it took to shift Sterling from caring about the lawsuit to blatantly pining again? Not on her watch, so watch it she would. Her only job now, other than school and lacrosse, was to run interference. There would be no canoodling, no secret rendezvous, and especially no bathroom kisses. She didn’t need her life ruined, and her parents’ lives ruined, because Sterling couldn’t stop lusting after the root of all evil.

If school last week was a polar vortex, then this week it was an all-expense-paid trip to Bermuda. Everyone was quick to throw smiles at them in the hallway throughout the day, three different guys offered to be Blair’s partner in Bible study class, and she’d even overheard Owen Caruthers _bragging_ about having hooked up with her. It was wild, she thought, maybe messing around would be easier from here on out. Blair was careful to take a few moments to let the attention fully sink into her pores, before refocusing on the task at hand. Operation Broken Scissors.

By the end of the day, she was fairly certain she’d done her job well. Sterling seemed just as wound up as she had that morning, and she was practically jogging to the Fellowship meeting, her eyes already shining with excitement. Her sister couldn’t hustle to her seat quickly enough, and she picked the one on the couch closest to where the Fellowship leader usually stood, of course. Blair perched next to her, ready to spring out and restrain her if need be, she really seemed _that_ keyed up.

The Holy Trinity strode into the room, separating only so April could be seated at the head of the group. Even though Sterling had had the entirety of Spanish class to stare as April twirled her hair, she still couldn’t help but appreciate the view. April’s hair flowed down over the shoulders of her blazer with a few pieces of her bangs artfully pinned back so parts of her neck were exposed. Sterling could just make out a pair of pearl earrings as she watched the shorter girl curl some hair behind her ear. She followed the movement down to where her trademarked silver cross dangled into her button down and swallowed loudly, earning a sharp elbow in the side from Blair, and an amused glance from the object of her attention.

April stood then, smoothing her outfit and clearing her throat, “Beloved.” The room quieted in response, save for Ellen, who was lightly crinkling the wrapper of some kind of snack in the corner.

April’s eyes scanned the room, “Today we will be discussing forgiveness as a devotional topic.” She picked up and opened her leather-bound bible to one of the many color-coded tabs marked within. “The word of the Lord tells us in Luke 23:34, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.’ Jesus asked this forgiveness of the Lord on behalf of the very men who nailed him to the cross. Some have interpreted this as a larger call: that Jesus was asking his father to forgive humanity itself for its flaws and its ignorance.” She sat back down.

“We make mistakes. We make bad choices. We _all_ do. It’s inevitable. It’s humanity.” She held the full attention of the room then, as she admitted that she herself was not perfect. “The Lord knows this and forgives us anyway. That is the power of His grace.” She took a breath. Sterling could hear that it was slightly shaky.

“ _Our_ power, as Christians in Fellowship, is to forgive one another as the Lord does,” her eyes flashed to Blair for a fleeting moment, “and also, despite the difficulty, to forgive ourselves.”

She took a moment to reset her posture, the vulnerability of her testimony quickly replaced with her usual forward-facing persona. “This can be a very personal topic, so I’d like to split up into smaller groups for sharing and discussion. Ellen and I will be floating around to offer support as needed.” At the mention of her name, Ellen quickly jolted up, clenching her hands like she was about to personally excavate forgiveness from the room. The tense silence broke with the sounds of scooting chairs and gentle conversation.

Sterling turned to face Blair, who turned to face Luke, who turned to realize that Hannah B. and Ezekiel were perched at the other end of the couch. Blair closed her eyes for a touch too long in silent exasperation. Ezekiel picked at his cuticles rather than acknowledge the situation. Great.

A gentle voice arose, “So, Jesus died, and he forgave the people that killed him?”

“Yes, Hannah B.,” Ezekiel didn’t look up from his hand.

“Do you think he still would if they did it, like, every day?” The collective side-eye from the group settled on their soft-spoken counterpart. A long silence followed.

Ezekiel wrinkled his brow, “Girl, how many times does he need to die for our sins?”

Luke looked like he was about to pop another eardrum in concentration.

Blair cut in quickly, shooting Ezekiel a dirty look before returning her gaze to Hannah B., “I _think_ what she’s trying to ask is if people who hurt you, like, over and over again, should also be forgiven, right?” Hannah B. nodded. “Personally, I vote no,” Blair gave Sterling a pointed look over her shoulder.

A roving April appeared, eyebrow raised and bible in hand, “Luke 6:37, ‘Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.’” She floated away before a seething Blair could come up with a counterargument.

“So, you get what you give?” Luke offered, “I really like that song.”

“Me too!” Sterling chimed in.

Blair refocused, “Hold up, Hannah, is everything okay with you at-”

“-She’s good,” Ezekiel interrupts, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. Blair engaged him in a full stare-down over it.

“I think we’ve all had some productive discussions so far. Let’s finish our thoughts and reconvene.” April had returned to the head of the group, and the scraping of more chairs followed until the room settled into a general silence. “As y’all may remember, we have our lake retreat this weekend.” April didn’t even have to look at Sterling for her pulse to skyrocket. “We’ll be meeting at Van Pugh North Park on Lake Lanier Friday night; camping is optional, and sites will be organized between the north and south areas. You can stay one night, or until Sunday, but you must book your own campsite online. Please remember that your signed permission slips must be returned to Ellen or myself by Thursday.”

“Now,” she allowed her gaze to wander to Sterling, “We are going to need volunteers to help set up the bonfire, sign-on to bring food items, et cetera.”

Sterling’s hand slowly raised, and the tiniest smile crept onto April’s face.

“I VOLUNTEER!” Blair shouted, startling Luke. She turned her attention to Ellen, “Um, yeah. Ellen, it’s just not fair that Sterling always has to _work_ these events, you know? I really feel like I don’t help enough to, uh, make this Fellowship better.” She could practically feel Sterling’s glare burning her skin.

Ellen seemed pleasantly surprised, “Oh, look at you Blair Wesley. You are just growing into the light of the Lord. Excellent.”

Ezekiel reached a hand up and pointed at Ellen, “Hannah B. and I can help too.” Hannah B. nodded.

Ellen reached over to grab a notepad from her bag, “Wonderful, now let me write this down. Four people should cover the setup and then some! Now onto snacks…” The rest of the students began volunteering for various treats and foods.

Only the slightest tension in her face gave away April’s annoyance.

-

Counting off her breaths no longer took as much concentration as it had when Blair had first started yoga, so now she could chew things over while she did it. She stared at her feet in the air above her while her head pressed into the carpet. It was very centering.

Sterling walked into the room to tell her that dinner was almost ready but stopped in her tracks at the sight in front of her.

“What are you…?” Sterling trailed off, confused at her sister’s position.

“Sarvangāsana,” Blair offered simply. She rolled forward and out of the pose.

“Are you trying to open the Chamber of Secrets or something?”

“It’s Hindi, Sterl,” she let out an exasperated sigh as she stood up. “I wish someone would open _my_ Chamber of Secrets,” her eyes sparkled mischievously until she remembered something, “Even though J.K. Rowling is canceled.”

“Totally canceled,” Sterling snorted, “But you’ll need a Parselmouth for that.”

“You say that but, no joke, my thirst is very real right now.”

“Didn’t you _just_ get fingered like, to completion, last week?”

Blair rolled her shoulders back haughtily, “Sterling that was a sip of water. I’m an experienced woman now. I need a whole bottle.”

“You’re impossible,” Sterling rolled her eyes, trying to suppress a smile.

“Impossible? You’re telling me you’re not ready to jump on a fence post after your many bathroom encounters?”

“First a Ficus, now a fencepost? Why do you keep, I don’t know, _pairing_ me with inanimate objects?”

Blair shrugged, “Hey, at least a fencepost can’t sue us.”

Sterling glared for a moment until her expression crumpled, “A fencepost can’t love me back.”

“From what I’ve seen, neither can April,” Blair retorted quickly, too quickly, and the airy cough that left Sterling in response revealed her pain before she could hide it. She backtracked quickly, “I shouldn’t have-”

“Commented on something you know _nothing_ about!?” Sterling’s anger surprised Blair, who despite all the new leaves she attempted to overturn, had to speak her piece.

“Okay, so, like, that wasn’t the nicest thing to say. Got it. My bad,” Blair’s voice was still heated but she refused to shout back at her sister. “But can you wiggle out from under April’s thumb for, like, _two_ seconds? You’ve put me in a shitty situation here Sterl.”

“How exactly does _my_ love life put _you_ in a... situation? Is this why you’re suddenly Blair Supertramp?” Sterling refused to curse, but she lowered her voice to match Blair’s tone. Her arms crossed like she was daring Blair to talk her way around that point.

Blair sighed and took a moment to collect herself. She settled on the edge of her bed and patted the space next to her. “Can we be real for a second? I don’t want to debate you, Sterling Wu.”

Sterling deflated at that and begrudgingly plopped next to her sister, “Fine.”

“You know I love you the most, right? You’re my other half, my better half.” Sterling nodded in response, her posture relaxing. “And you told me that you’re a little gay, like maybe half gay? I don’t know, that whole ratio thing is for you to decide. But I love that for you, because I love _you._ No matter what.” Blair took her sister’s hand then. “It’s a secret that I’m happy to keep for you. You wanna be ears deep in muff? I fully support your thirst. Get some.” She smiled then, and Sterling couldn’t help but smile back, even though her eyes were watering.

“So… what’s the ‘situation’ then?”

“This thing with April, Sterl, it could ruin our family,” her voice tightened with emotion. “Our parents and the lawyer were _super_ clear about not communicating with any of them. We don’t know where the she-demon stands, and I’m running around playing goalie on and off the field, desperately trying to clam-jam you so we don’t get taken to the cleaners in court. It’s not fair to me.”

Sterling set her jaw, her voice ice cold, “Nobody asked you to ‘play goalie’ Blair.”

Blair jumped up from the bed and clenched her fists as she rounded on her sister and unleashed her pent-up frustration, “Nobody asked you to try to finger public enemy number one, but here we are!”

Sterling bounced back up in response, “I am not trying to-”

“- It feels crappy knowing that our parents are pouring over legal shit every night, while you secretly plot ways to undermine all their work. You need to pick a side!”

“I have picked a side!”

“Whose side?” Blair stepped closer to Sterling. It was a challenge.

“The right side!” Sterling squeaked.

“So, April’s side then? Great, that’s just great Sterl. We’ll both be poor public-school kids living in a tiny house with knock-off orange juice, but it’ll be totally fine, because you get to penetrate a closeted Republican!”

Oh, that did it for civility.

Sterling leapt at Blair, tackling her onto the bed as one of her hands reached up to yank her hair. Blair squirmed under her weight as Sterling pinned her down, her face twisted into an unfamiliar visage of anger. It didn’t last long though, because Blair’s limited martial arts experience kicked in, and she quickly rolled them over again, ending the movement with Sterling’s arm in some ridiculous hold that could easily dislocate a shoulder if that was the goal.

“I give! Ow! Stop it!”

Blair didn’t move an inch, “Are you done siding against the family?”

“Yes! Fine! Whatever!” Sterling would’ve agreed to anything.

Blair released her arm and rolled up onto her knees, ready to attack again if necessary. Sterling quickly scampered as far away from her sister as the bed would allow. She rubbed her sore shoulder.

Blair was incredulous, “What is your _problem_? You’re really so mad about the truth that you’d attack me!?”

“I…” Sterling couldn’t even begin to explain. Maybe because she knew Blair was right after all. _Maybe._

This was not the turn Blair thought this conversation would take at all. It seemed like a pretty reasonable request from her side of the fence. Just stop _trying_ to lose to lawsuit. Was that so big of an ask? She opted for an olive branch instead, “You know I just want what’s best for us.”

“You don’t get it!” Sterling said with a huff, hating how petty it made her sound.

“Clearly I don’t. Care to explain? Or would you rather lose another round?” Blair’s eyes had softened, but her posture had not. Sterling wasn’t sure the tendons in her shoulder could take another round.

Sterling’s anger surprised even herself. Why was she always desperately defending April? There was just an energy there; a presence between them. It was like somehow all of the geometry and algebra in the world didn’t matter anymore because two plus two equaled ten as far as they were concerned. April felt it too, she just had to. Today’s Fellowship meeting, that was for her. It was all for her.

What they had for that week before the lock-in was exciting and real and _hot_ but it felt like now they were building towards something else. This new thing with them seemed bigger and wild and serious, like it could swallow Sterling whole when it finally arrived. It could consume her entirely.

A warm feeling spread into her chest as she realized that she would let it. She’d let her feelings for April Stevens burn her every ounce of flesh, and she’d still ask if someone could shovel on more coals. It wasn’t a decision she was making, not really. It was an embrace of truth. Her truth. Their truth.

“Is there a burning bush behind me?” Blair asked gently, interrupting Sterling’s epiphany.

She snapped out of it, “Huh?”

“You look like you’ve just seen the Lord himself,” confusion flooded Blair’s face.

Sterling stood up from the bed and straightened her posture, “You’re wrong about April. I just know it in – in my heart. That homily today was for _us._ And yeah, there’s this lawsuit, and I’ll have to wait for her in a lot of ways. But I’m waiting. She asked for someday and our someday is coming.” As soon as she said the words, she knew she was certain of them. “I don’t _need_ you with me on this, but it’d be a heck of a lot easier if you were Blair.” She crossed her arms and began eyeing her sister for a response.

Blair got up and approached her so she could get a good look at her eyes, “You’re serious?”

“I’ve never been more serious about anything ever in my life… like ever.” There was nothing in her face that indicated even a hint of insincerity.

“Huh,” Blair tilted her head as she studied her sister. Sterling was changing somehow, growing. It was simultaneously exciting and terrifying to see up close. She didn’t want to be left behind, “Can you please stop putting me in the middle, at least until all this crap blows over? Please?”

Sterling seemed to consider this for a moment. It really wasn’t fair to Blair.

“Yes,” she cleared her throat, “And I’m sorry.”

Blair nodded in recognition of the apology. “When this is over, you and your thirst for poon have my full support.” She spoke the rest through gritted teeth, “April needs to earn it though. Best I can do.”

“Vulgar but appreciated,” Sterling moved to hug Blair, who resisted for a moment before hugging back, “And I love you too sis, so much.” Sterling pulled back to squeeze Blair’s shoulders, “We’re probably late for dinner now though.”

Blair gestured dramatically around the bedroom, “Oh, you’re still hungry? But you’ve been imagining eating April’s cooter all day...”

Sterling rolled her eyes, only barely amused, “I will kill you, and it’ll be in cold blood. _Cold._ ”


	14. Cup of Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a few different types of tension on deck for these next chapters, and maybe not between who you might think.  
> If you read this chapter with binoculars you may see a protest in the distance for Blannah B. rights.
> 
> A few of the scenes in this story were planned out and even written before I was able to connect the dots to get us all there. These last few chapters hold quite a few of those, and so I'm optimistic that once this semester is fully over, a more aggressive publishing schedule will be within reach.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts, hopes, dreams, favorite s'mores ingredients...  
> As always, thank you so much for reading!

The twins’ parents had agreed to let the girls join the Fellowship lake trip on the conditions that nobody stay overnight, and that the girls choose specific days to attend separate from one another. They had been grounded without phones for two weeks now, and their parents could tell that they were about to claw through the drywall to escape. Debbie very specifically chose the terms of their participation, knowing that there was significantly less trouble for the girls to get into if they weren’t together to enable it. As Blair had volunteered to help with the event setup, she would be there on Friday evening, provided that she head home by 9PM. Sterling would be allowed to go on Saturday with the same curfew.

After their tiff earlier in the week, the twins had reached peace. While Blair was concerned for what exactly could happen on Saturday, she’d made her bed by volunteering and now had to lie in it. True to her word (for once, Blair noted with bitterness) Sterling had kept a respectful distance from the forbidden fruit all week. While distance was all well and good, Sterling’s agreement with Blair certainly didn’t stop her from imagining how that fruit might taste, especially when she could subtly sniff it in Spanish class.

Blair had hugged her sister tightly before walking out of the door. She knew it would be the longest they’d been apart since the night of the lock-in, and without phones to text, it felt like she was going off to war. Sterling looked forlorn as she heard the Volt swerve out of the driveway from her seat at the kitchen island. It didn’t escape the notice of her mother.

“You’ll be able to join the fun tomorrow sweetie. Can I get you a snack or something?”

“No.” Sterling didn’t look up from the spot on the counter she’d zoned out on.

“Did you maybe want to play some Scrabble or something after dinner? I’m sure I could coax your father into a game…”

“No.”

“Are you alright?”

Sterling looked up at her mom then with a blank expression and said nothing.

Her mother seemed to wilt a little at the gaze. “Hey now, you know your father and I have our reasons for limiting your time out of the house.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“But there is…something else.”

Finally, the blank expression left Sterling’s face. She tilted her head inquisitively.

Debbie approached the kitchen island and leaned on her hands towards Sterling, “We’re not sure how you want to handle… _things_ moving forward.”

“What things?”

Her mother took a deep breath then and selected her next words carefully, “Dana wrote me from prison, a while ago. She wanted a chance to speak to you then, but we were all still healing and praying. I wrote back and told her that she could call today, and that if you wanted to talk, you’d answer the phone.”

“Oh,” Sterling’s pupils dilated for a second as she took in this information. It was such a small word for such a big feeling, and something in her chest tightened at the memories dredged up from just hearing the name ‘Dana.’

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” she reached across the island and took one of her daughter’s hands in her own. “I just thought you deserved a chance to make this decision on your own. Blair has strong feelings about, well, just about anything you could think of, but this is your story. You get to decide.”

Sterling was silent for a while, her brows knitted in contemplation.

“Why today?”

Debbie lowered herself onto her elbows so she could be at eye level with her daughter, “Hmm, well we’ve talked about your real birthday…”

“November 29th,” Sterling whispered.

“That’s right. Well, today is April 24th baby girl,” she squeezed the hand she held with a misty-eyed smile. “Today’s the day you came home to us.”

-

Blair couldn’t be dreading this more. She must’ve handed Sterling their shared brain cell when she volunteered as tribute for this stupid camping trip. Now she had to spend a whole afternoon setting up with the Holy Trinity, and the whole night trying to avoid them. Hopefully, Bowser could find her body wherever they decided to stash it after her untimely demise. She was certain that April was capable of making it look like an accident.

She parked up at the picnic area as the final notes of the Killswitch’s _As Daylight Dies_ album faded into silence. The air was cooler by the lake than it was at home, and she was grateful that her dad had offered her one of his old flannels for the evening. Between that and her signature beanie, she was downright cozy. It was a longer drive than she’d originally thought, and she took the time to stretch upon exiting the Volt, surveying the scene as she did so.

A charred circle in the distance marked where the fires traditionally burned on the sandy soil of the lake beach. Large logs serving as makeshift benches were circled around it. Scrub pines dotted the area, increasing in density the farther you made it from shore, their presence filling the air with the smell of their unmistakable sap.

There were only two other cars in the lot: a juiced up looking bat mobile and a more subtle Toyota that she saw Hannah B. fussing around in. April had her hair up and was wearing what looked like an entire L.L. Bean catalogue, which Blair thought was absurdly pretentious. This was Georgia, not Massachusetts for fuck’s sake. She doubted that Satan Jr. had ever even been near a forest before this. The shorter girl had a clipboard that she was writing on, and Ezekiel stood close by, nodding occasionally at whatever inanity left her mouth. When the two of them realized her presence, Blair saw them exchange a loaded glance. April stayed put, and Ezekiel walked towards her. Not wanting to be a total asshole, Blair met him in the middle.

“Can I help load up firewood or something? Something tells me that’s not quite in Hannah B.’s wheelhouse.” She looked over and saw the other girl struggling to get her rear seats to click back into place after unloading.

Ezekiel seemed surprised at the lack of hostility. “April was very specific about wanting to handle the firewood. Something about ‘whoever controls the light, controls the night.’” He crossed his arms as though he too thought it was ridiculous but seemed to stop himself before committing to an eyeroll.

Blair rocked on her heels with raised eyebrows, “Okay then,” she said, drawing out the ‘O’ “Are y’all camping?” She was desperately trying to scratch up some small talk to make this less weird.

He studied her for a moment, hip popped, “We are,” he confirmed before quickly adding, “Not together though. What about you?”

Blair scrunched her nose, “Not allowed,” Ezekiel looked surprised, and not pleasantly so. “Vigilante justice just doesn’t get the respect it deserves anymore.” She smirked to contain a chuckle at her own joke, briefly wondering if Ezekiel knew just how deep that joke went. April did, and even from a distance Blair could feel the side-eye she received in response.

“Well, for now, we’re setting up the s’mores bar and the carafes for drinks.” He lowered his voice conspiratorially as they made their way to grab the folding tables, “I saw that article, girl. You know I need the spicy deets.”

Blair was a bit taken aback at the inclusion she was being shown by Ezekiel. It was actually fun chatting with him as they set things up. Their volleying banter had taken on a snappy wit, and she enjoyed getting to bat words between them. It was the closest she could get to a sport tonight anyway.

Despite this, she still felt it was suspicious. What reason on earth, other than getting the gossip, did Ezekiel have for being nice to her? She chanced a few glances over at April and Hannah B. as she and Ezekiel worked. Hannah B. had cleared the site of sticks and had pulled her guitar and a blanket out, propping them against a log to claim her spot. April closed the trunk of her fancy sports car before all of the firewood was unloaded, her face flushed with the effort of carrying everything. She began laying the logs out in the fire pit with care, like she’d have to live in the structure she’d created rather than just watch it burn.

-

Sterling watched as the cell phone on the kitchen island lit up with a call from an unknown number. It wasn’t her phone, it was her mom’s, so she felt extra weird just picking it up. She hadn’t had very much time to think about this. What, maybe an hour? That’s not a lot of time to process whether or not you want to speak with your kidnapper? Mom? Aunt?

Debbie rounded the corner in reaction to the buzzing of the call on the counter. She looked across the room at Sterling and nodded her reassurance.

Sterling hesitated. It was now or never, maybe. She waffled for a fraction of a second before realizing she might regret it if she _didn’t_ pick up the phone.

Silently, she snatched it off of the counter and accepted the call.

“Hello?” She watched Debbie leave the room to give her privacy.

“Sterlin’?”

Her heartrate doubled at hearing the voice that had haunted her nightmares, “Yeah.”

“I’m so glad ya picked up muffin.”

She bit back the nausea that came with hearing that nickname. Her voice came out sounding cold, unfamiliar to even her own ears, “Don’t call me that.”

She heard a scoff on the other end of the line.

“Good Lord, ya sound just like Debbie.”

“What do you want?” Sterling didn’t know if she should walk around or go to her room. Her discomfort left her glued to her seat at the kitchen island.

“Oh, definitely Debbie. No fartin’ around, not ever. Not even with my own kid.”

“I – I’m not your kid. Not in any way that matters,” she blurted it out before she could think about it. It was a knee-jerk reaction to the affiliation with anything that wasn’t the family she was raised with. “Now what do you want?”

A heavy sigh reached her ear. “I, well, I was hoping to get to say I’m sorry.” All Dana could hear through the line were Sterling’s gentle breaths as she processed that, “There’s a prison chaplain here, and he’s been seein’ me through the dark days. I shouldn’t’ve done what I did to ya. I think ‘bout you askin’ me to do the right thing when we were in that trailer… Hear it in my head all the time. I shoulda listened, and I’m sorry.”

The line stayed quiet for a bit.

“Thanks.” It was all Sterling could choke out. Tears were silently streaming down her face.

“‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand,’” Dana quoted.

“You’ve got a ways to go, I think.” She heard an airy laugh in response.

“Well, do ya think, maybe, we could keep talkin’?”

Sterling’s hands were clammy, her eyes were still leaking tears, and she hadn’t moved an inch. How much of this could she really tolerate? She came up with a middle ground, and a plan started to form in her head. “Could we write instead?”

“Aw muf – Sterlin’ that’d be just fine.”

“What do I need…?”

“Deb has the info.”

Sterling could hear the slightest bit of hope in Dana’s voice. She felt so uncomfortable in this call, like her own skin was foreign to her all of a sudden. “Okay then. I – I think I’m gonna go.”

“Well, hopefully I’ll hear from ya soon.”

“Yeah, bye.”

“Buh-bye now.”

Sterling ended the call and flung the phone away from her on the island as though it had burned her. Despite the knee-jerk reaction, when she realized it was finally done with, she could fully breathe again.

-

The rest of the Fellowship crew started trickling in once everything was set up just perfectly in accordance with April’s stringent standards. As each person brought their assigned food or drink item, Blair and Ezekiel added them to the impressive display of refreshments. There was a full array of s’mores ingredients including different candy bars to use instead of chocolate. Luke was all smiles as he dropped off a bunch of store-bought cookies. Unfortunately for all of their eardrums, he’d also brought his guitar.

Ellen was over the moon at how well everything had come together. She shoved a giant s’mores marshmallow in her mouth and mumbled something unintelligible to Blair and Ezekiel, squeezing them both on the shoulders. Blair quickly ate something from the table to avoid having to deal with whatever perky anecdote Ellen was preparing to deliver. April had lit the fire, and despite her general displeasure at having to share airspace with any Stevens, Blair figured she’d have to join the larger group eventually. She wriggled out from under Ellen’s hand and perched herself on a log away from April, still chewing, and shot Ezekiel an apologetic glance once she was free. Great, she thought, now she just had to find some way to survive this evening without Sterling. None of these people were even her friends.

What was even in her mouth? Was this marshmallow…chocolate? She considered this for a moment and decided that Bowser could definitely use some of these at Yogurtopia.

A soft voice came from above her, “Do you like it?” It was Hannah B..

Blair finished chewing and swallowed, “Huh?”

“The marshmallow! I saw you grab one from the table…”

She wiped her mouth with her hand, “Yeah, that was chocolate, right? Never had one like that before.”

Hannah B. plopped down next to her with a sigh as though she and Blair spoke every day. It was just ditzy enough to be endearing, Blair decided, and she turned slightly to face the other girl.

“April said nobody would eat them because they were different.”

“I think April might be projecting there,” Blair glanced across the fire to see that Ezekiel had joined April and was laughing animatedly about something. April’s hands were clenched on her own knees, she looked tense. Blair couldn’t help the involuntary curl of her lip at her mere existence.

Her observation was interrupted, “Wait, she brought a projector? I thought we were singing, not watching a movie…” Hannah B. trailed off.

Blair snapped out of it, “No, uh, no movies. My bad Hannah!” She’d forgotten her audience for a moment, “Hey, why don’t you get your guitar, and we can pull up the tabs for Lost Society’s _No Absolution_.”

“Oh, okay!” the other girl’s eyes lit up and she scrambled to get her guitar.

Hannah B. realized pretty quickly that Blair was kidding about playing that particular song and was able to laugh about it. Luke and his guitar joined the two of them, and with a little charm, Blair was able to convince Ellen that Paramore’s early catalogue was Christian rock. Despite dreading the event, she soon found herself buzzed off of too many s’mores while she screamed along to the lyrics of radio-friendly pop hits, conducting the two of them like Leonard Bernstein.

By the time the charcoal grill was finally preheated adequately for dinner, an oblivious Luke had managed to wrangle her into a hotdog eating contest. She’d almost had enough sugar to agree to it, but when she saw just exactly how invested most of the boys were in watching said contest, she mumbled an excuse that he happily shrugged off.

Hannah B. was oddly content to stay with Blair and Luke throughout dinner, seemingly ignorant of Ezekiel’s many pointed stares. Horny Lorna joined the three of them, making sure to keep a hand on or near Luke throughout the meal. Blair noticed that this earned a maniacal glare from Franklin who sat across the fire.

More treats followed dinner, and aside from Ellen’s insistence on a long group prayer, the event was actually really fun. The smoke from the bonfire soaked into Blair’s very pores, and though she’d never admit that burning logs was an efficient way to provide warmth, there was something primitive about the ritual that made her feel closer to God. The cooling lake air sent its first chill up her arms as daylight started to wane, and she rolled down the sleeves of her dad’s flannel in a vain attempt to ward it off. Hannah B. flopped an extra section of her blanket over Blair’s lap without a word, and she appreciated the gesture, the warmth spreading through her like a good hug. But when the other girl then offered her a sip of her hot tea to warm up a few minutes later, something about it made Blair’s stomach feel wiggly, so she waved it off and quickly stood up under the guise of throwing another log on the fire.

The bonfire was roaring and frankly didn’t require another log, but Blair needed a moment to process whatever on earth _that_ just was. She squatted down, grabbed the fire poker, and jabbed at the fire a bit, hoping a few logs would disintegrate at the contact to make room for a new one, but something looked off. Blair squinted into the base of the flame where the hot coals lay. Logs weren’t perfectly rectangular usually, or even rectangular-ish. Her face grew uncomfortably warm with her proximity to the flames. Aiming a poke at the red-hot object did little to break it down. This was _not_ a piece of wood, or kindling, or even someone’s dinner plate, Blair realized.

She swiftly abandoned the fire poker. The cogs and gears of her mind were turning at full speed as she fought to recall where she’d seen something like this before. There were stacks of them on a shelf in her memory bank…

…at Jim’s tech shop.

Blair’s eyes shot around the fire to take stock of the scene and found that someone was missing, along with that same someone’s car. Her blood boiled at having missed it. Of course, she was distracted! She was too busy jamming out and being oddly coddled to notice the real intent of this evening: a strategic cremation, almost certainly of the sinister variety.

She whipped around with her fists clenched to face Hannah B. once more, her voice low and scratchy from the smoke.

“Where’s April?”


	15. Silver Lining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Two updates in one week? Must mean my classes are done for the semester!
> 
> This chapter is **big,** so if you haven't checked in with this story in a while, please do yourself a favor and refresh your memory with a good ol' fashioned reread so you can see it all come together in a meaningful way.
> 
> I'm slowly seeing the new content in this fandom dwindle, and the inevitability of it breaks my heart. Thanks to everyone who has been brave enough to share the endings for these characters that they imagined in their heads. This story will continue until it's told. From there, I'm open to suggestions.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Enjoy!

Sterling felt jumpy. Well, maybe ‘jumpy’ wasn’t quite accurate, but for some reason ‘drowning in dissociation’ seemed a little too dramatic. The call with Dana left her rattled. She'd made it through dinner without having to say much, and quickly absconded to her room to figure out what exactly was floating through her head. It was like her whole life, everything she knew, felt like a costume. Willingham, Blair, Anderson, church, Debbie, Fellowship. It was all some elaborate disguise that she had to slough off somehow. She laid on top of her blankets and tried to ignore how she could feel them beneath her, another element of the charade. She breathed.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

This wasn’t working.

She sat bolt upright. ‘Moving might help. Let’s move,’ she thought, as though she were two people who had to decide to do it together. She closed her eyes. In. Out. Rolled her shoulders. In. Out. Her neck. In. Out. She opened her eyes again and found them focusing on her desk.

The desk chair was firm, grounding even. She lay her hands on the hard wood of her desk and took another breath. A distraction, that’s what she needed. She turned the lamp on and felt its light fill the room. It was a life raft for a drowning person. Her eyes darted around the scene in front her, around her laptop, and there it was, an item she’d been dutifully ignoring since it was placed in her possession: a USB.

A few quick motions and clicks later and she had something else to focus on. Perhaps not the best idea, because now it consumed all of her pent-up energy: a long tunnel ahead with only the outlet in mind. She flicked through photo after photo, there were hundreds of them. Selfies with Luke, selfies with Blair, selfies alone, candid photos that looked posed, posed photos trying to look candid, and then: a flash of blue, a flash of purple. She scrolled back and could remember it with perfect clarity…

_A disembodied robotic voice announced that there was only one minute of play left, and the laser tag arena was filled with the excited shrieks of children who were quickly trying to get in just a few more shots._

_Sterling had been completely lost until then in the girl in front of her, and happily so. Kissing April was all-consuming, it commanded the full attention of every single cell of her body. She was frustrated at the stupid laser tag vests for needlessly leaving space for Jesus between them, and at one point had tried to yank hers off, before a low voice at her neck told her not to. April had backed her into the corner of this little course feature, and she was glad, because when the one-minute warning reached her ears, she realized she had slid partway down the wall and was barely holding herself up anymore._

_She broke their kiss with a gasp, but April just dipped to return to her neck. With no room to back up, she had to put her hands on both of April’s shoulders to gently push her away._

_“What?” April furrowed her brow, her dilated pupils reflecting the blue lights from Sterling’s vest._

_Sterling slowly stood back up to her full height, uncertain if her wobbly knees could handle it. ‘Patellas,’ she’d mentally corrected._

_“Well, it’s, uh, almost time to go,” she hedged, pulling her phone out from her back pocket and holding it up, “And I was hoping we could…”_

_April blinked up at her, backing away minutely, “I – I don’t think that’s a good idea Sterl.”_

_Sterling’s free hand returned to April’s shoulder, refusing to let her move any further away. She leaned down to the other girl’s ear and gently whispered, “Please?”_

_April shivered, her answer also coming out quietly, “Okay.”_

In hindsight, Sterling thought the photo was silly. They were posed back-to-back with their guns like they were in _Charlie’s Angels_ or something. It was the only way to make it seem less incriminating. With new eyes, Sterling could see what anyone else could not: the beginnings of a hickey on her neck, how swollen both of their lips were, and a smirk on April’s face that looked a little too satisfied.

She shut the laptop quickly. Why was she doing this to herself?

A knock on the door stirred her from her woolgathering. She cleared her throat, “Come in!”

Anderson’s head stuck into the room, turning until it found Sterling at her desk. He glanced at the sofa and pointed, “Can I…?”

“Yes sir.”

Anderson carefully closed the door behind him and plopped himself on the pink sofa. Sterling swiveled to face him, one arm up on the back of her chair.

“I wanted to see if you were alright sweetie.”

“Been better.” It came out as a quiet mumble.

“Hmm, well did you want to talk about it? Maybe I can take some of it off your plate?”

Sterling knew what this really was. It was concern, sure, but it was also a delicate dance to figure out what Dana had said on the phone. She didn’t have the energy right now to turn the solo into a tango.

“Oh, uh, well the call was okay, I guess. Dana just apologized, actually. She wanted to keep talking, but I wasn’t sure.”

Her dad nodded to himself like this information just confirmed his suspicions. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to Sterling, you know that, right?”

“Yes sir.”

“Alright, well how-”

“-I – I’m gonna need her address. I told her I would write instead.” Sterling’s voice grew strained, “I couldn’t talk, it just, it made me feel _wiggly_ and, like, not in a fun way.”

A pitying expression crossed Anderson’s face, and he made as if to stand up.

“Don’t. Please. I’m still trying to… just don’t.”

Her dad’s shoulders sunk at the rejection, though he tried to remain impassive for Sterling’s benefit.

“What can I do for you? How can I help?” Her father’s eyes were urgent.

This wasn’t how they usually operated. Most of the time, some tears and a good cuddle with her mom straightened anything out. It was nice to have her dad here instead. It helped that he wasn’t the parent who looked identical to her kidnapper. This wasn’t the usual kind of problem; this was a potentially life-ruining family cataclysm. It was like a wave that just kept crashing over and over. There would be smooth seas for days and then another would crest unexpectedly, toppling all of the progress made since. Sterling could practically hear Blair’s voice in her head, and she decided right then.

“I’d like to start seeing a therapist.”

Her dad was obviously taken aback initially, but he appeared to settle into the idea. This was a perfectly reasonable request, after all.

“Okay, well, why don’t we sit down with your momma and look through the folks available under our new insurance plan? You can find someone who feels like a good fit. Okay?”

Sterling nodded, misty-eyed. She hadn’t expected this to be such a difficult thing, asking for help.

“Would you join me?” Anderson reached his arms out to his daughter.

The hardest part over, Sterling moved until she all but collapsed into her dad’s embrace.

“Thanks dad.”

“Of course. I love you so much, you know that?”

Sterling could only nod and sniffle.

“I came in here, well, to make sure you were alright, first of all. But I also wanted to talk to you about something else. Do you think you’re ready for that?”

Sterling pulled back from the embrace, wiping her eyes so she could see her dad more clearly. “Yes sir.”

“Your mother and I have been talking, and with all the good y’all two have been doing in school and in your extracurriculars, we think your groundings are just about done.” A smile slowly spread across Sterling’s face, and Anderson had to suppress his own. “Now, we’re still keeping you both on a tight leash. We’re going to need updates on where you are and who you’re with. Now that we’re friendly with Mr. Simmons, y’all can’t go sneaking off to play cops and robbers without him telling us.” His face was stern, but then he reached into his back pocket and handed Sterling’s phone out. “I think it’s about time you have this back.”

Sterling snatched her phone out of Anderson’s hand, trying and failing not to look too eager. It was very obviously dead after sitting in whatever drawer it’d been locked in for so long. She bounced forward into a hug, “Thank you so much daddy!” she squealed excitedly into his shoulder.

Anderson laughed as he pulled away, “I thought that might perk you up a little.” His eyes studied his daughter’s for a moment, “And you’re okay?”

There were a lot of different answers to that, Sterling thought, and they ranged from wildly depressed to fantastically gay. She settled somewhere in the middle.

“Not 100% right now, but I think I will be soon.”

Her dad squeezed her shoulders affectionately and stood up to leave. He called over his shoulder, “I’ll get started with the insurance stuff. If you need anything else Sterl, I’m here.” She nodded, and he closed the door quietly behind him.

She scrambled over to her bed to plug the iPhone in, flopping down onto her back as the screen lit up. It must’ve buzzed for a minute straight after turning on. The messages, the Instagram notifications, the school emails, everything came flooding in at once.

Most of the messages were from Luke asking how she was and why she wasn’t answering. A few stray messages from classmates asked for homework assignments or tipped her off on what she missed the day she and Blair met with the lawyer. Another bunch of messages were from Bowser during that short period of time between their phones being taken and their parents going to meet with him. He seemed worried. It was cute, Sterling thought.

None of the messages were from April, she realized with a frown, before remembering the secret chat. She hurried to open it, nearly dropping her phone on her face in the process, and when she realized how behind she was, she rolled onto her side so she could settle in and read it all. They started on the day of their date to the botanical gardens.

5:15 PM  
TinyBluePoisonFrog:  
_Hey, I just got home. I know things ended a little… abruptly, but I had a really nice time with you today. You said it perfectly in the garden. Thank you for being willing to try again.  
I hope you’re okay. Let me know what’s going on._

5:24 PM  
TinyBluePoisonFrog:  
_What was the emergency? Are you okay?_

5:41 PM  
TinyBluePoisonFrog:  
_You did say you would message me, right?_

6:03 PM  
TinyBluePoisonFrog:  
_What’s going on!?_

8:31 PM  
TinyBluePoisonFrog:  
_I shouldn’t pry. I hope you and your family are alright. If there’s anything I can do, please let me know._

7:38 AM  
TinyBluePoisonFrog:  
_You’re late to school today._

7:39 AM  
TinyBluePoisonFrog:  
_When are you coming in?_

11:55 AM  
TinyBluePoisonFrog:  
_You’re skipping the whole day, I guess. I miss you. I’ll collect your assignments so you don’t fall behind._

2:41 PM  
TinyBluePoisonFrog:  
_Are you ignoring me?_

3:03 PM  
TinyBluePoisonFrog:  
_I’m coming over._

4:07 PM  
TinyBluePoisonFrog:  
_Please, just trust me._

Sterling had to wipe more tears out of her eyes when she reached that last message. April had probably realized she didn’t have her phone after that. Sterling had to believe that that was the case, she hated to think that April would give up on her so easily. She let her phone drop to the floor to charge, and curled up into a ball, letting the feelings just have her. Tonight, was supposed to be _their_ night: a night at the lake, camping together, getting into who knows what kinds of trouble.

She needed to calm down or she’d never get to sleep tonight. She was really _really_ missing her other half right now. Blair would know exactly what to do to help.

Her phone buzzed on the floor next to her. She briefly considered unplugging the dang thing again and just letting it die. Maybe it was easier that way.

She peered over the side of her bed to get a glimpse of the screen. When she saw that the notification was from the chat application, she nearly tumbled off of the mattress in her hurry to scoff the phone up again.

8:06 PM  
TinyBluePoisonFrog:  
_Entreat me not to leave you,  
Or to turn back from following after you;  
For wherever you go, I will go;  
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;  
Your people shall be my people,  
And your God, my God._

Sterling would recognize that text anywhere. It was a verse from the Book of Ruth.

What did this mean?

_What did this mean?_

She did the only thing she could think to do. Rolling off of the bed, she grabbed the Bible from her nightstand. Using it as a reference, she quickly tapped out her response.

8:11 PM  
SilverOne:  
_Where you die, I will die,  
And there will I be buried.  
The Lord do so to me, and more also,  
If anything but death parts you and me._

-

Of course April would choose a campsite in Van Pugh South, Blair thought bitterly, and of course it would be a fifteen-minute walk from everyone else at the bonfire. What else did she expect, really? Apparently April was also ritualistically burning computer parts in their Fellowship bonfire, so Blair should’ve known she would do the absolute most in _every_ scenario. Blair whispered many thanks to God for Doc Martens and Hannah B.’s flashlight as she bushwhacked her way through what may or may not have actually been a path, to get there in the darkness. She saw a faint light ahead just as she was losing steam, and she clawed her way through the spring brush, stumbling into a clearing that was dimly lit by a small, but neatly assembled campfire.

April was in a camp chair by the fire, hunched over her phone as though it held Sappho’s lost verses. She looked up at the sound of Blair’s entrance, and as her form was illuminated in the clearing, her expression shifted from one of optimism to one of disappointment.

Blair quickly took in her surroundings. April’s Charger was backed up to the campsite, the extra firewood stacked neatly beside the trunk. A large family-sized tent stuffed with pillows and blankets was gently illuminated from within by a rustic kerosene lantern. There was a picnic table at the site piled high with a variety of snacks, plates, and utensils; a propane camp stove was set up for use on one end. A large Yeti cooler sat next to the table, with a Bluetooth speaker sitting in silence on top. As Blair’s eyes circled back to the girl, she noticed another camp chair next to the fire. It was empty.

Blair did some quick math.

“Not the Wesley you were hoping for?”

April offered a wry smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I thought you weren’t ‘allowed’ to speak to me?” she asked, adding air quotes for emphasis.

Blair stared, “I’ve never been one for rules.”

“Pity,” April turned her attention back to the fire, “I was enjoying the silence.”

Blair scoffed. “I know what you did.”

April’s head snapped back towards Blair, her eyes narrowing.

“And what’s that exactly?”

Blair sucked in a breath as though every ounce of her patience were being tested all at once. She gestured towards the empty chair, “May I?”

“You’re going to anyway.”

Blair clenched her jaw and slowly made her way to sit in the camp chair. It was too close to April for her taste, so she scooted it away slightly before settling in. “So, why don’t you tell me what your plan is here?”

April let out a humorless laugh, “Good one.”

“We’re doing this the hard way then? Great, that way’s always more fun.” A mischievous smile spread across her face, and she stretched her arms above her head before repositioning her hands onto the armrests of her chair in anticipation.

April gritted her teeth, choosing to remain silent. The quiet stretched a bit, punctuated only by the crickets that began their song in the dim light of late evening.

“Pleading the fifth, are we? Maybe a career in law _is_ in your future.” Blair was basking in April’s obvious discomfort.

“I think you’re bored. You’re grounded, and you’re single, and you’re bored. So rather than try to get the attention of whatever flavor of the week you’d like to have slobber all over you, you figured you’d swing by and see if you could ruin my weekend too.” Each word was elocuted so perfectly that they sliced into Blair like the finest convex grind.

Blair’s amused smile faltered for the slightest moment as April read her for filth, but she quickly recovered. “Cut the crap Stevens. I don’t know why you’re underselling yourself here. You deserve a round of applause really. The question is, from who?”

“ _Whom,_ ” April corrected.

Blair ignored her and continued, “I’ll tell you something, I’ve got a theory too. It’s a good one. You ready?”

April, looking bored, twirled a hand indicating that she should continue.

“Well, for starters, what a beautiful car you have!” Blair offered sarcastically, waving in its general direction. “A Charger right? A _Dodge_ Charger?”

April settled back in her chair and crossed her arms, the apathetic expression never leaving her face.

“Funny, I’ve got a friend who mentioned a car like that one time. Name’s Jim. Sound familiar?”

“Ah, so a generic man recognized a generic car in Atlanta,” her face was impassive, “Should I clap now, Nancy Drew?”

“Please Stevens, hold the applause,” Blair used her hand to gesture a stop, reveling in the repartee. She continued in her most patronizing tone, “You see, my friend Jim was very rudely accosted by a man in a car like that. He runs a tech shop and this man seemed very angry at his inability to recover some files from his laptop.”

April’s eyes widened the slightest bit before she controlled her expression.

“Not just some files actually, it was _anything._ Jim couldn’t recover anything. It’s like they were never there at all, he said. But they’re not gone, are they Stevens?” Blair could see the muscle flex in the other girl’s jaw as her face contorted in anger.

“No, see, I think those files, no, the whole laptop hard drive, is currently melting in the Fellowship bonfire: terminator style.” Her point made, she leaned back and crossed her legs contentedly, lounging in the chair.

April’s voice whipped out low and rough, “You don’t know what the _fuck_ you’re talking about Wesley.”

“Language, Stevens…” Blair admonished, faux shock in her voice. She smiled condescendingly, “Don’t I though?” She rolled her neck, a vision of relaxation. “By the way, it’s cute that you thought Hannah B. could distract me from everything.”

April balked at the implication before raising a brow. Her voice, so full of vitriol just moments before, came out softly, “I - I didn’t tell Hannah B. to hang out with you tonight.”

“Huh?” Blair’s mind went blank.

“Yeah, I don’t… She was supposed to sit with me.”

Blair looked away for a moment, her face scrunched in confusion. There was something else going on here, but it wasn’t something she had to riddle out right now.

She’d underestimated Stevens apparently, if she could be thrown against the ropes so easily by an errant comment about Hannah. The she-demon could not be allowed to win this, “Now, why don’t you tell me what exactly was on that hard drive?”

“Why don’t you just leave this be? It’s for the best.”

“Knowing you, it isn’t.”

“What if it is?” April challenged, her eyes desperate.

“How about a show of good faith?” Blair pontificated rhetorically. “Your phone isn’t safe anymore. Apparently, your dad has been trying to access its data.” She was practically high off of the pretense of the conversation. It was like she was living in an episode of _Law and Order._ Olivia Benson, who?

April was unsurprised, “It never was. You’ll have to do better than that.”

“How?”

“Collateral. Quid pro quo.”

Blair was finally out of her depth, “I never took Latin.”

“Tit for tat,” April offered, rolling her eyes. The tension of the conversation seemed to be dissipating.

Blair barely suppressed a smile, “You _would_ mention tits at a time like this.” The shorter girl facepalmed. What skin was visible to Blair between her spread fingers was bright crimson. Evidently, she was not accustomed to errant jokes about her most closely guarded secret.

“Too easy,” the Wesley girl cackled before quickly adding, “But for the record, your taste for tatas has nothing to do with why I hate you.”

April took a moment to recover her normal coloring as she absorbed the real meaning behind Blair’s teasing words, letting them settle in, “Noted.”

Blair seemed pensive for a moment, “Okay, I have the quo if you promise to give me the quid, or whatever.”

“Go on,” April rose to grab another log for the fire. Blair waited until she was seated again to continue.

“Sterling’s birthday…”

“Is November 9th. Really Blair?”

“Hmm, not quite,” she proceeded slowly, gently. “ _My_ birthday is the 9th. Sterling’s is the 29th.”

April looked like she’d just hit the math section of the SAT. “Wait…so…” Her eyes bounced around like she could find the answer in the woods. “You’re not twins?”

“A lot of this isn’t really, like, _my_ story to tell, but no,” she held a long blink, “We’re cousins actually.”

When April picked her jaw up from off of the ground, she sputtered, “How long have you…?”

A snarl rested on Blair’s face at the memory, “Since the lock-in.”

April crumpled a bit as she tried to piece things together. The sadness reached her eyes, soaking them with pity, “Who else knows this?”

“At Willingham? You,” Blair challenged.

April looked up at the sky in exasperation. She took several deep breaths. Blair figured there was likely a large connect-the-dots drawing happening in there somewhere, and she knew she had her then. The sister-bomb was the only tat worthy of this tit, or whatever.

Despite this, she grew impatient, “Well, pay up. What’s the quid?”

April refocused and leveled her with a look. “You very seriously cannot tell a soul. I won’t be safe.”

“Well, same,” Blair qualified before amending, “Minus the safety part.”

“I mean it,” April pressed.

Blair waved her hands in front of her, “Okay okay okay.”

“I’m only telling you this because you know too much already,” April warned.

A moment passed in which there were just crickets and the sound of breathing. Blair had never been so focused.

“The hard drive had surveillance footage of you both at the lake house,” April sighed, “We have cameras there, and they caught most of the arrest.”

…

Were the woods spinning?

Blair could swear the woods were spinning.

Were her ears popping?

Was she underwater?

…

Could you throw up underwater?

Maybe all those marshmallows were making her sink further.

…

Why were crickets so goddamned loud all of a sudden?

Why was April’s face floating in front of her?

…

She was shaking, her vision was shaking.

No, she was being shaken.

Hands on her shoulders brought her back from whatever crevasse she’d fallen into.

Must’ve been the Mariana Trench.

…

Words came into focus.

“Blair!” April lightly shook her shoulders again, “Are you okay?” The shorter girl was knelt down in front of the brunette twin.

Blair blinked into awareness. Her beanie was in her hands somehow. She carefully put it back on her head. Brown eyes looked down to meet green, “You…”

April shrugged, “Me.” She rose and grabbed a Sprite from the cooler, cracking it and placing it in Blair’s cupholder. “You should probably drink that.” She returned to her seat, but cautiously refused to sit back fully.

“But why?”

“Sugar is supposed to help with shock,” she said clearly, then muttered under her breath, “Yet somehow _I’m_ the dramatic one?”

“No… _why?_ ”

The question gave April pause.

“‘Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.’”

“You’re really going to quote the Bible at me right now?” Blair’s snark was undermined by the slight quiver in her voice, “Shit, you are _so_ extra.” A beat, and then, “We’re not even friends.”

April’s face hardened with bitterness, “I’m very aware that we’re not friends.” She crossed her arms, “But I had to make a choice. Your sis– Sterling told me I was making the right one.”

“Oh.”

_Oh._

“I’m just – Out of curiosity, what did you _think_ I was hiding?”

“I mean, I really didn’t know. Figured it could be anything from a bootleg copy of _Disobedience_ to something incriminating about your dad. I was kinda hoping it was the second one.”

April scoffed and leaned back in her chair again.

Blair sipped the soda with a shaky hand. Sugar usually keyed her up, but the tonic seemed to have the opposite effect. “Was that the only copy?”

April nodded.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.” It was said with such confidence that there was no room for doubt. She seemed to study Blair for a moment, as though deciding right then how well she could trust her. “That’s why I was so surprised by the lawsuit. He’d mentioned it after he got back, but there was no evidence left.”

Blair leaned forward in her seat taking a long pull of Sprite, “Why didn’t you _tell_ us? What the hell?”

“For starters, you’re welcome,” April raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips, taking a moment to glare over at the other girl. “Sterling hates lying,” she continued, as though it were the most obvious reasoning in the world, “If she knew, she’d have to swear on a Bible and then lie through a deposition. Either that, or she’d tell the truth and John would find out.” Her face took on a look of disgust at the word ‘John.’ “You can’t tell her this, no matter what.”

The answer seemed quite plain to Blair, “I have to.”

April’s panicked voice rose, “You _can’t!_ We had a deal!”

“April, this - this changes everything! We can totally deny these charges. There’s no evidence! No deposition! We need to fix our whole legal approach!” Blair popped out of her chair like she was ready to run home.

April stood up too, ready to restrain Blair if need be. “No! He might literally kill me if he finds out Blair! I was _so_ careful and he’s _already_ suspicious! Why do you think he’s checking my phone!?”

“What if I promise you that he’ll never find out?”

“You can’t, and he’ll hurt me when he does,” April nearly whispered, and her shoulders sunk as her eyes drifted to the ground.

“We’ll hurt him back,” Blair answered simply, and when April looked up at her again, she could tell that Blair meant every word. April shuddered a bit from an unseen chill.

Blair jolted with a sudden recollection, “Shit, what time is it?”

April whipped out her phone, “8:52.”

She moved to leave, “Okay, I’m so sorry, but I really have to go.”

April made to grab for the twin’s arm, “Blair, don’t! _Please_ don’t say anything.” Her face was desperate, begging.

Blair wondered if this was how Sterling felt all those weeks ago, when April was begging her to keep a very different secret from Blair herself. Fighting back the instinctual anger at how it was always April trying to come between them, she realized that this was different. This went beyond a secret. April had protected the Wesleys, but now Blair had to _let_ her.

She turned back and placed a hand on April’s shoulder, shaking her head and smiling sadly down at her, “This’ll work out. I promise.” A single tear started to fall from the corner of one of April’s doubt-filled eyes. “You might actually be good enough for her after all.”

Then Blair ran.


	16. Late to the Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone cue the Peaches & Herb because we're REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD!
> 
> Okay, so, people I know in real life are reading this story, and that's both incredibly flattering and terrifying. Thank you to them for helping me find my comfort zone regarding the line between smut and romance. (Looking at you Sneaky Niks and Jazzy J.)
> 
> Is anyone else here old enough to remember when we called it lemons instead of smut? Pop off!
> 
> The next chapter is going to be fun and fluff at the lake. Now accepting requests for fun scenarios!
> 
> Thank you for reading!

It was a whisper, “Sterling…”

“Steeeeerling.”

“Pssst… Sterling!”

It had to be a dream. Blair was surely whispering to her in a dream. Sterling cracked an eye open and looked over at the clock on her nightstand, it was 10:17 PM. A single slant of light from the slightly ajar bathroom door crossed the room, penetrating her peace with its reality.

“Blair,” Sterling managed to grumble, “M’ sleepin’.”

“Not anymore!” Blair ripped the blankets back off of the bed. She walked over to the door and flicked on the ceiling light.

Sterling curled up into herself to retain some semblance of heat. She tried to grab at the covers, but Blair had returned to sit on them.

“Good Lord, this can’t wait?” her eyes were still closed, she was still curled up.

Blair was out of patience and she practically growled, “Sterl, hand to God I will rain hellfire on your ass if you don’t wake up right now.”

“Language,” Sterling scolded as she begrudgingly opened her eyes and shifted to sit up against her headboard. “What is it?”

Blair twisted to face her sister, bringing one bent leg onto the bed. “Are you awake?”

“As awake as I will be.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“ _Blair…_ ” Sterling could only grumble.

“Okay, so, a lot happened at the lake, and I – I just need you to know.” Sterling watched as her sister’s demeanor took on an uncharacteristic nervousness, “I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do, telling you, but you need to know. We agreed, no more secrets.”

“No more secrets,” Sterling agreed, her eyes now fully open with interest.

“I really fucked up, Sterl.”

Sterling raised a brow in judgement.

“Don’t even! I messed up so bad.”

“You… how?” It was strange for Sterling to see Blair like this. She was skittish and edgy. The contrast from her usual demeanor was unsettling.

“I was wrong. I was wrong about her, April I mean, and you were right. I fought you on it. I fucked up.”

The intensity of Sterling’s gaze was piercing. “Blair, what happened?”

Blair scooted closer to her sister and lowered the volume of her voice, “I saw this hard drive in the fire, and thought she had something to do with it. I confronted her about it and she… she’s protecting us Sterl. The hard drive had the only video evidence of us arresting her dad, and she burned it in the fire. April planned this whole thing.”

Sterling’s eyes were intent on her sister, her face slack jawed. She finally managed to choke out, “You’re serious?”

Blair nodded solemnly.

Sterling was flabbergasted, “I – Well – No offense, but why would she tell _you_ that?”

A slight cringe rose on Blair’s face, and she spoke her next words like someone might walk on eggshells, “There may have been an, uh, _exchange_ of information. She wanted collateral.”

The blonde twin’s eyes narrowed, “…and what did you trade?”

Blair leaned away, cowering from an anticipated blow, “Your birthday…?”

There was a beat of silence and then Sterling swung her legs over the side of the bed, ignoring Blair’s flinch at the movement, “I have to go. I have to – I can’t be here.” She walked over to her dresser and started yanking open drawers, hunting through clothing, “I have to find her. Explain.”

Blair’s hand grabbed her arm, and when Sterling whipped around to face her sister, she looked like a fox caught in a bear trap, fully prepared to bite off the offending limb. “Sterl, you can go in the morning. We’re grounded, remember?”

“No, we’re not.”

“What?”

“I got a call from Dana. Dad gave me my phone back. It was a whole thing,” Sterling seemed irritated at having to explain it. She shook off Blair’s hand and turned back to the dresser to continue packing.

Blair felt like she was three steps behind. It rolled through her like a fever chill, unpleasantly reminiscent of their fight in Nandina. She backed off of her sister and dismissed it, “Okay…”

Sterling could hear the distance in her sister’s voice, and it stopped her in her tracks. She turned back around with a sigh and took Blair by the shoulders, jostling her until she’d meet her eyes. “Here’s the deal. You kept saying you messed up, but I messed up too! I was so unfair to her when everything went down, and I feel horrible, and she messaged me anyway. It’s going to eat me alive until I can fix this. Please let me fix this!”

“You’re not mad about the birthday thing?”

“I’m not _happy_ about the birthday thing, but we’ll deal with it. Okay?” Sterling dropped her hands from Blair’s shoulders.

Blair thought for a moment then nodded. “Alright, well, Mom and Dad went to bed, so you’re clear to leave now. In the morning I can tell them that you left before everyone woke up because, uh, Ellen was calling about setting up breakfast or some crap. Does that sound believable?”

The biggest most genuine smile cracked across Sterling’s face as she heard the plan. “Gosh, you’re the smartest sister ever.” She bounced forward to hug her sister. Then she dashed over to her closet to grab the duffle bag already packed for the day trip and started shoving the extra clothing into it.

“Are you gonna wear cute undies?”

Sterling popped up from her packing with wide eyes to look at Blair, like a meercat surveying its grasslands.

“You can’t les-bone Stevens in your old cotton undies, Sterl.”

“Oh my gosh, we are so _not_ going to bone! I’m still not even a hundred percent sure what that even means for girls, and April’s always worn a purity ring. I don’t even know if that’s on her radar.” Despite the dismissal, Sterling gave up trying to pack for the moment.

Blair seemed skeptical, “Well, you said she messaged you. What did it say?”

Sterling couldn’t help the blush from creeping onto her face, “Well, it uh, it was a verse from the Bible.”

“She sent you a biblical quote? Okay, I take it back, dress for comfort.”

“No, like,” Sterling was spluttering. The possibility of having sex hadn’t really been the focus of her attentions, but now that it’d been brought up, she couldn’t swat it away. “Naomi and Ruth were, like, totally together. It was this whole thing with us during the Solomon’s Temple project.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that she brought an extra chair for you.”

“A chair? And that makes you think she wants to…” Sterling couldn’t help but whisper conspiratorially, “…be intimate?” The edge of panic that entered her voice was thankfully ignored by her sister. The prospect of doing just about anything with April made her vocal cords go squeaky in the worst way.

“I’m just saying that she picked a _very_ secluded campsite,” Blair offered plainly, well aware that Sterling was on the verge of a gay panic. “Maybe she wanted you two somewhere a little more…” she flicked her tongue between two fingers in a lewd gesture, “…remote.”

“Alrighty,” Sterling started shoving Blair into their shared bathroom, her blush too dark to hide, “That’s enough from you. I - I need to get changed.”

Blair resisted lightly at first, but eventually turned and headed in that direction on her own. She called over her shoulder, “One more thing,” then pivoted in the doorway to face her sister.

“What?” Sterling seemed exasperated and twitchy, a new brand of adrenaline coursing its way through her body.

“Just an F.Y.I.” Blair waggled her eyebrows, “Nipple play is _criminally_ underrated.” She was laughing too heartily at the expression on her sister’s face to care much when Sterling’s throw pillow took its name a little too literally and made contact with the side of her head.

-

Sterling realized pretty quickly that Blair wasn’t entirely kidding about April’s campsite being remote. She’d parked up in the main lot by the remnants of the group bonfire, not wanting her car to be visible at April’s camp. Even with the pin that Blair had carefully dropped on Google marking the camp’s location, Sterling was really struggling to find, well, just about anything. It was almost midnight now, and the sites were eerily silent save for the occasional rustling of leaves. Sterling only had her father’s hunting Maglite to defend herself, so she desperately hoped every errant twig snap was just a squirrel.

The thrill of driving for an hour out here just to make a point was slowly wearing off, and Sterling was starting to get nervous. What was her plan anyway? She’d worn one of her dad’s old UGA sweatshirts to combat the cold that Blair had warned her about, but it was still chilly. The baggy sweatshirt annoyingly snagged on briars and brambles as she trudged deeper into the camp. What if April hated her? She hadn’t even brought her tent; she’d have to sleep in the Volt. Before Sterling’s mind could go too far down that Slip ‘N Slide of negativity, her flashlight caught the reflectivity of a car’s red taillight in the distance. With a sigh of relief she realized it was the taillight of April’s Hellcat and she pushed through the thicket into a clearing.

The space was completely enveloped in darkness but smelled lightly of smoke. Sterling put her flashlight down and squatted next to the firepit, reaching a cold hand out over the still-warm coals for comfort. Despite all of the excitement and anticipation for this trip and this moment, Sterling couldn’t help but want to put it off for just a little bit longer. There were so many beautiful unknowns, so many untouched hopes that danced around this space like the whisps of ash from the embers. In a year where truthful certainties had grounded many flights of fancy, allowing these ambiguities to remain adrift for a few more moments felt like a gentle blessing from God.

Sterling took a deep breath and prepared herself for their landing by scooping up her flashlight and walking over to the large tent, careful to direct its beam away from the door.

Her voice cracked at the start of her whisper, “April?”

There was only the sound of crickets in response.

“April? It’s Sterling.” her voice had shifted to something squeakier and louder than a whisper.

There was rustling inside the tent, then the sound of a zipper. The whispering voice within sounded muffled from the nylon shelter separating them, “I thought you were an ax murderer.”

A bright light came on inside the tent, then another zipper pulled back the door separating them. Sterling shut her flashlight off and kneeled down at the door to see a pale, though rapidly blushing, April. It didn’t seem fair to Sterling that she somehow managed to make a beanie and matching wool long john pajamas look attractive. After all of the build-up, the sight of her left Sterling speechless for a moment, “Uh… hi.”

The shorter girl hissed, “Sterling, what are you doing here?”

Sterling kept her voice low, “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No, I – I was up. What do you want?” Her tone was standoffish, and it threw Sterling for a loop. After everything that Blair had said, she didn’t think she’d really have to explain herself.

“‘Wherever you lodge, I will lodge,’ right?”

The annoyance on April’s face dissolved as she heard the words. “Right, yes. Well, leave your shoes out here. I don’t want dirt in the tent.” Then she scooted away from the door.

Sterling managed to remove her shoes and wiggle into the tent without incurring the wrath of its owner. It was surprisingly painless to wiggle around, there seemed to be a giant mattress pad covering most of the floorspace of the tent, and way too many blankets. When she zipped the inner and outer doors closed and swiveled around, she saw that the space was illuminated by April’s phone which was suspended in some kind of ceiling pouch in the bug netting. The girl herself was sitting atop her sleeping bag, regarding her visitor curiously. There was way too much space between them, Sterling thought.

April hugged her knees, “What did Blair tell you?”

Sterling snuggled under a nearby blanket for warmth before answering. “She told me, uh, a lot of things, probably everything,” Sterling began, and April looked away. “The biggest thing was that she messed up.”

“What?” April failed to keep the incredulity from her voice. Her eyes rose to meet Sterling’s.

“I trusted you, or wanted to, all along. I knew I shouldn’t, but there was something…there.” April’s mouth twitched at that. “Blair fought me on it a bunch, it was harsh, but she was wrong about you. She messed up. So, she apologized, well, kind of.” Sterling scrunched her nose and glanced around when she realized that Blair hadn’t exactly apologized at all, but the intent had been clear enough. She returned her focus to April, “You protected us. You were on our side.”

“I told you that I was,” April was still hugging her knees, “You didn’t believe me.”

“But why didn’t you tell us the whole story? We could’ve been to-” Sterling stopped herself before she said something stupid and scared April away. “We could’ve helped you or, or fixed this.”

“I thought I had a plan,” April’s voice came out timid, like she was scared of her own words. She cast her eyes downward.

Sterling was not having any of that. She scooted over with the blanket until she was sitting right in front of April on the other end of her sleeping bag, “Well, what was it? Neither of us can talk to you because of the lawsuit and we hate you forever once it’s over?” Her eyes finally met April’s midway through her questioning, “How was that plan going to benefit you at all?”

April’s gaze was intense, “It wasn’t. I told you I wouldn’t let him control your life. I meant that.” She thought for a moment, rolling her lips, “Blair hated me anyway. You would’ve softened eventually. Someday.” Her eyes shone at the callback.

It just didn’t make any sense to Sterling that April would betray her own family with no obvious reward in sight. Sterling was insistent, “I guess I just have a hard time believing that April Stevens would work that hard for a maybe. April, your dad…”

“I didn’t work that hard for a maybe. How do you not get this Sterling?” April’s voice rose as she grew more invested in her words, “I worked that hard for _you_ , to protect _you_ from _him_. I just needed you to be safe, I didn’t care-”

But Sterling didn’t get to hear about what April didn’t care about, because something within her acted of its own accord. Her body flung across the sleeping bag until her arms bracketed April’s balled up form, and her lips met those of her personal savior. She’d barely had a chance to revel in the warmth when April pulled away.

“Sterl…” April whispered, and it sounded like a warning. It took a moment for Sterling to pick up on how wrong the body language was. Here she was, fully stretched out to reach the girl in front of her, and April had remained as she had been, hugging her knees. Sterling backed off immediately, opting to sit crisscross in front of the other girl.

For all of her reflexes, Sterling still couldn’t control her face as it flamed in embarrassment, “I’m - I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have… I just couldn’t _not_ kiss you.”

April’s pupils were dark, though in excitement or fear, Sterling couldn’t tell. The shorter girl slowly and thoughtfully relinquished the death grip on her own knees, “No, it’s not – You don’t have to apologize. You just surprised me. You always manage to do that somehow.” Her voice rang with sincerity, and her mouth suppressed a smile, “You weren’t even supposed to find out about all of that other stuff.”

“W – Why’d you message me then? Wasn’t that-?”

“Unrelated. I just had to try one more time. This whole trip was planned already.”

“I was scared that you’d, uh, given up or something when I finally read all the messages tonight.”

“ _Tonight?,_ ” April’s tone was dubious, “Those were from forever ago!”

“I didn’t have my phone. I was grounded.”

April looked skeptical, but her eyes seemed to hold on to the tiniest bit of hope, “So you weren’t ignoring me?”

Sterling’s brows shot up, “Ignoring you?” She scooted a little bit closer, “Gosh, I don’t think I could ignore you if I _wanted_ to.” She cast her eyes away bashfully during her confession, occasionally flashing them up to gauge April’s response, “It’s like I can feel it whenever you’re near me.”

April nodded the tiniest bit and hummed in acknowledgement, averting her eyes from the emotional turn the conversation had taken. She began picking at the sleeping bag for something to do with her hands. April always did this, Sterling noted, ‘this’ being ‘avoiding talking about feelings.’ She was even self-aware enough to admit as much when they’d gone to the botanical gardens. Still, it left Sterling in an awkward spot. Her kiss had been rejected, and her personal confession was met with a nonverbal response. She didn’t have much else to go on.

“April?” she looked back up at Sterling upon hearing her name. “That verse from the Book of Ruth,” Sterling swallowed in an attempt to quell her own nerves, “Did you, like, did you _mean_ that?” Sterling wasn’t sure if that were the best phrasing, but hopefully it would get her point across. She just needed a read on the girl in front of her.

A nervous smile landed gently on April’s face, and her eyes softened in that rare way that only Sterling got to see, “Of course, Sterl.” She looked down again, pretending to pick at the loose threads of her sleeping bag, “I didn’t think you’d take the lodging part quite so literally, though.”

“Oh, should I… Do you want me to go? I can go.” Sterling’s stomach turned as she put her hands in front of her and looked at the exit over her shoulder.

A smaller hand grabbed her wrist before she could move away, “No, no, stay. Please stay,” she entreated. She kept her hand on Sterling’s wrist for another moment, squeezing it before returning it to her knees. “I just… I find it _difficult_ when things don’t go according to plan,” she said carefully, her eyes glancing up at Sterling occasionally, “And nothing tonight went as planned.” She breathed as though she could exhale the difficulty.

Sterling heard this for exactly what it was, an effort. April was sitting in front of her earnestly trying to convey how she was feeling. It was new, and it warmed something in Sterling’s chest that had been dormant since their date in the botanical gardens.

Sterling waited until April looked back up at her again and held her gaze, “I’m sorry if I made that feeling any worse for you. Totally not my intention. If it helps,” she scratched the back of her neck and grimaced, “nothing tonight went according to my plan either.”

April’s eyes filled with pity, “Are you referring to the twin thing?”

Sterling nodded, “It’s not that I _didn’t_ want you to know. It’s just…” Sterling got stuck there. She wanted April to know her, she wanted the girl in front of her to understand every part of her, but she worried constantly what would be _too much._ Because at a certain point, everyone hit their limit.

“Do you wish you could’ve explained it in your own time?” April guessed.

Sterling sighed heavily, with relief, “Yeah.”

“Blair said, well, she said you found out the night of the lock-in.” April’s eyes were intense, “I’m sorry if what I did that night made it any worse for you.”

“The past is the past,” Sterling shrugged simply. Something in the vestiges of her memory tugged at the phrase.

“Hmm,” April ruminated on the response, “So what about the _now?_ ”

“Now I’m here,” Sterling noted.

“Here you are.”

“And here _you_ are,” Sterling gestured in front of her, “In a beanie no less, looking absolutely adorable.”

April’s cheeks took on a tiny dab of pink at the flirtation. She stretched out her legs before mirroring Sterling’s crisscross seating, choosing to keep her head down as she shyly responded, “I really did miss you; you know. I still do.”

Sterling scooted in again, leaning forward to hold a palm up, and April filled it with her own hand. Sterling squeezed as she said, “You don’t have to anymore.” April’s eyes rose again to burn into her own, “Now, you’ve _got_ me.”

The potency of April’s heated gaze was almost too much for Sterling to handle. It was a test, somehow, of how much of the fire she could take. April was always such an intense person, but so constrained, and Sterling realized now that what April showed the world was really only a fraction of what smoldered within her. In this brief moment, this short glimpse, April Stevens was an inferno. And here was Sterling, begging to be scalded by it.

April must’ve found what she was searching for in Sterling’s face, because she slowly closed the space between them, whispering, “Finally” just before their lips met.

This kiss felt different from any others that they’d shared, and way different than when Sterling had pictured it a thousand times in her head. April kissed her like she had all of the time in the world. Her lips were warm and unhurried, clasping and moving in creative ways that told Sterling all of the things she couldn’t say aloud.

Needing to get closer, Sterling reached her hands up to cup April’s face, pulling off her beanie in the process. When she gently scratched down the back of the other girl’s neck, April shuddered and pulled back, resting her forehead against Sterling’s while she took a few steadying breaths. Sterling opened her eyes to peek and saw the most beautiful pair of turquoise eyes almost completely obscured by dilated pupils.

Sterling couldn’t tell if she was pushed back, or if she had pulled, but suddenly they were kissing again, April was halfway on top of her, and she couldn’t form a single coherent thought that stretched beyond what she was feeling in that exact moment. What she felt was heat. April’s body was like a blast furnace, sending her blood boiling along every plane of contact they shared. April's forearms bracketed her head and she dipped to kiss and nip along Sterling’s ear, sending a shiver down the blonde's entire body. Sterling could feel the smile on April’s lips when they ventured down to her neck seeking out other reactions.

Sterling let her hands roam experimentally, lightly scratching down April’s thighs, which earned her a gasp at her neck. Still moving, she snuck under the rear hem of the shorter girl’s pajama top, craving the softness of her skin. She ran her nails up and down the smooth surface of her back before gripping April by the hips and dragging her down so their lips could meet again. As each movement of their exchange gradually shifted from a languid reunion to something more frenetic, Sterling could only hear the echoes of a whisper in her head: _Finally, finally, finally._


	17. Butterflies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this _massive_ lake chapter and then realized it was too long to not split up. I didn't want to deprive this lovely fandom of any more serotonin, especially after there was a literal coup d'etat in America this week. The girls get a morning at the lake!
> 
> Fun fact: I just really enjoy putting April behind the wheel of large vehicles. It sparks joy. All vehicles herein are in fact, canon compliant!
> 
> I have a really big multi-day test this upcoming week (doctorate whomst?) but most of the next chapter is already written so expect some sauce soon!
> 
> Thank you for reading!

Sterling was pretty smart, she knew that. She had some of the best grades in school, was rapidly improving her Spanish, and was classically trained on the harp. She knew that sealing off the exit was the key to capturing a skip, that global warming was going to be the pivotal crisis facing her generation, and that accounting for the recoil of her favorite rifle _before_ shooting would bag her a deer right between the eyes. All of these things brought her comfort because they were known, they were a given, and they calmed the pervasive baseline of nerves that seemed to constantly soak her system. Newness was a source of anxiety for Sterling, who was always fighting so hard to feel as settled as Yolanda’s sister had accused her of being back in Yogurtopia.

Today though, today was different, because Sterling woke up today knowing so much more, and she really thought she’d had a good chunk this whole ‘life’ thing figured out. Because birds were much louder when there was only a thin sheet of nylon separating her from their song, nipple play really _was_ underrated, it was possible to sleep comfortably outdoors, and the smell of campfire smoke could be really alluring. All of these new things were unsettling to Sterling, or would be, if not for one extra thing she’d learned: April Stevens was a cuddler.

Sterling was laying on her back under a down quilt, blinking up at the roof of the tent as the breaking of dawn slowly started illuminating the fabric from without. April’s head lay on Sterling’s right shoulder, as she’d curled herself in against the blonde at some point during the night with Sterling’s arm wrapped behind her. The tickle of April’s gentle sleeping breaths had awoken her some time ago, but she didn’t dare move. Sterling had never felt such a distinct sense of calm. It warmed her like when she was little, and her mom would rush from the drier in the laundry room to drape a still-warm blanket over Blair and her as they giggled on the couch. She basked in the feeling for a period of time.

The gentle chimes of a custom alarm grew gradually louder, and Sterling managed to reach April’s phone above her head with her free arm to snooze it. April whimpered quietly and began to stir.

“Good morning,” Sterling’s voice was rough with sleep. She cleared her throat before kissing the top of April’s head. At this point she figured this could go one of two ways, so she might as well get her kisses in while she could.

April rolled over onto her back and stretched out like a cat, mumbling a sleepy, “Mornin’.” Sterling turned to her side so she could take in the situation. The shorter girl froze when the night before seemed to catch up with her. Her voice rang out much more clearly when she spoke again, “Oh God.” Sterling couldn’t help but blush when she remembered how differently that phrase had been uttered by April just hours ago.

“April…” Sterling began cautiously.

April quickly sat up, throwing the blanket off of her and grabbing her phone, “Oh _God_.”

“ _April,_ ” and then green eyes looked over to meet blue, “What’s the matter?”

She seemed to come back to herself for a moment, all business, “We have so much to do today.”

“It’s only 6:15. You set four alarms.”

“We’re late.”

“That was only the _first_ alarm, and I actually set it fifteen minutes earlier than you did after you fell asleep last night.”

The tips of April’s ears reddened at the mention of the previous night, but her face was still serious. She put her phone down and regarded the girl in her bed, “Why would you do that?”

“Well I, uh, wanted to have a chance to talk, and I had a feeling you’d do, you know…” she gestured needlessly at the other girl in front of her, “ _this._ ” She couldn’t suppress the giggle that followed at exactly how accurately she’d predicted this panic reaction from April.

Apparently, April couldn’t either because she blushed, pressing her palms to her eyes so she wouldn’t have to look at Sterling again. She lifted her left arm and pointed blindly in Sterling’s general direction mumbling, “You…”

Sterling leaned forward, kissing the finger being waved close to her face, “Guilty.” April’s head whipped around in surprise. “What?”

April sighed and rested her head on her bent knees, her voice muted by her positioning, “You’re just impossibly cute.” She bemoaned it as though it would be the death of her.

Sterling took that as encouragement and scooted closer to April, gently coaxing her shoulder until she was laying back down. She brought the blanket back over her, then nuzzled in until she could kiss the side of her head. “Pot, meet kettle.”

April gave a single sarcastic chuckle and then rolled back onto her side to look at Sterling again with hesitant eyes, her arms crushed to her own chest, her fists under her chin. “What did you want to talk about?”

Sterling squirmed a little, “I guess I just wanted to, uh, check in with you about last night.”

April’s eyes grew panicked, her words coming out in a rush, “Why? Was it too much? Do you regret it?”

“Oh my gosh, no! It was intense, but totally in a good way, like, the _best_ way.” April’s eyes were wide, and her own face was flushed, but she couldn’t stop rambling. “I had a really good time, and you were _so…_ But I mean, you’ve always worn a, uh, purity ring, except for when you stopped a few times about a month ago, but I don’t really know what that means to you, or like what purity even really means when it’s two girls, but you did offer to ravage me once, and Blair said-”

“Sterl!” April cut her off, reaching to hold Sterling’s hand in what little space lay between them. Sterling could not have been more thankful for the interruption; she was fairly certain she’d stopped making sense midway through her stream-of-consciousness blather. “I’m glad that you’re _checking in,_ ” she smirked as she echoed Sterling’s word choice. “To the best of my knowledge, there’s no code of Christian lesbian virtue, so I think we get to define that part for ourselves,” she looked away shyly for a moment. “The ring is complicated because of who gave it to me, but I don’t want to get into that, if that’s okay with you.” Sterling nodded. “Regardless, I don’t think God is going to strike us down for premarital heavy petting. Last night was…” Their eyes locked.

“Yeah?” Sterling could feel her whole body tingling at the way April’s thought had trailed off. She rubbed her thumb against April’s hand in her own.

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t think I would…”

“Me neither,” April whispered, still blushing, as she released Sterling’s hand to gently stroke her cheek.

“I wish I could stay tonight too,” Sterling said, failing to keep the whine out of her voice.

April leaned in, placing a soft kiss on her lips. The blonde twin’s eyes stayed closed until April spoke again, “We still have today.”

Sterling was dazed, floating in a sea of serotonin, and she hated having to bring up the reality that waited for them outside of these flimsy walls.

“How did you want to handle that? Today, I mean.”

April thought for a moment, “Well the group activities are basically meals and morning prayer.” She averted her eyes, “We should probably keep our distance for those.”

“Yeah, I don’t think my parents would be too thrilled if they heard that we were hanging out either.”

April’s face was crestfallen before she caught herself and quickly rearranged her expression. Sterling wondered briefly if she was expecting her to argue against keeping their distance, but she brushed off the thought. She wasn’t in the mood to whack that hornet’s nest today, not after how great last night was.

“The rest of the day is ours to do with as we please, though. My original plan was to bring the canoe over from my lake house, but…”

“But what?”

“I can’t fit a canoe in, on, or behind my car, Sterl. I would’ve had to have borrowed my dad’s truck.”

“Luke’s Mercedes has a roof rack.”

April fixed her with a leveling glare.

“Never mind then, what if we just went to your lake house to hang out? We could swim in the pool there, or canoe, or whatever.”

April looked at her strangely, “I don’t think that’s-”

“It was just an idea, no pressure either way! I just…” she swallowed her nerves, “I just want you near me. The ‘wheres’ and ‘hows’ don’t really matter all that much. We’ll figure it out.”

Then April pressed herself closer and kissed her, as though her words demanded that response, and the reciprocity was so intoxicating that Sterling allowed herself to sink into it. So much so, that they lost track of time between each other until the tinkling of April’s second alarm went off, and they pulled apart catching their breath.

Ever the responsible one, April managed to speak first, “You really have to go now before someone sees.”

“Okay,” Sterling said, leaning in for another kiss anyway. Having to withdraw her hands was almost painful.

“Sterling, I’m serious,” April scolded, but the smile Sterling could feel as their lips met again betrayed her words.

“Okay,” they kissed. “I’ll go,” their lips met again. “Right now,” Sterling left one more lingering kiss before popping up and moving to unzip the doors. She turned back to smile at April once her shoes were back on, “See you at breakfast.”

Fortunately for April, Sterling had come up with the perfect cover plan. She was already on her way back from it, having stopped to pick up some extra breakfast foods from the local grocery store. The employees only seemed mildly annoyed when they saw a girl sleeping in her car waiting for the store to open, but Sterling didn’t care. She’d just had what was probably the best night of her life, if there were bags under her eyes and employees offended at her boisterous cheer on that fine day, so be it.

Spring was beautiful in Georgia; it was Sterling’s favorite season. The air was the perfect ambient temperature during the day and chilly at night. You could have all the fun in the world while the sun was out without any of the oppressive heat that settled over Atlanta in July and August. Kacey Musgraves was blaring from her open windows as she wended her way back to camp. Those songs didn’t make her sad anymore and a smile spread across her face upon realizing that.

This time Sterling parked right up next to the rest of the group and hopped out to take in the scene. The morning light streamed through the gaps in the pines, leaving long shadows in its wake. A few others had awoken already and settled at the various picnic tables, but none looked too happy about it. After all, it was only a little after 9AM on a Saturday, and these were a bunch of teenagers. Ellen was up and frantically trying to organize everything. April followed Ellen closely with the peeved expression that she often wore when helping Hannah B. with homework. Sterling met her eyes briefly and they shared a tentative smile. She’d just started grabbing the grocery bags from her car when a drawl reached her ears.

“If it isn’t Hallie Parker finally coming to camp. Trap any parents lately?”

Sterling could not have whipped her head around more quickly, “Good morning Ezekiel.” Did he know about what happened with April’s dad? She had to play it cool. “I always thought I was more of an Annie James, you know, British and sophisticated?” Giving up on trying to gather the groceries for now, she leaned back against the trunk of the Volt.

“And skinny dipping in the lake?” He crossed his arms and eyed her dramatically, the pose made more impactful by his outfit. He wore golden sneakers, patterned slacks, a purple sweater, and an outright ostentatious scarf. Could you even mix animal prints with neon? Sterling guessed that if you were Ezekiel, you really could.

“It’s a little early for ‘Never Have I Ever’ don’t you think?”

“Ya know, it _is_ early Eyes. A little too early for you to be here all chipper with breakfast ingredients…”

Sterling was not touching the latter half of that statement with a 20-foot pole, “Eyes? Is that really what you call me?”

He smirked, “Would you prefer Lips? Or Smell?”

Sterling could’ve sworn she felt her heart stop beating. How could he possibly know about any of that? Did he overhear that phone call from forever ago? She glanced around them frantically, hoping that nobody was in earshot, or that maybe April somehow was. With no one there to save her, she crossed her arms and averted her eyes so she wouldn’t have to lie to his face, “I don’t know what you’re-”

“Save it Eyes,” the admonishment came out quietly as he stepped in closer to her. Sterling looked up at him again, squinting in the morning light. Ezekiel’s expression was unfamiliar, soft even, “I’ve had you clocked since Biblical Buildings. Real always recognizes real.” When Sterling did nothing but blink at him in response he continued, “I made a joke about her mouse trap and you checked the length of your nails. _Real subtle._ ”

Ezekiel put his hand on Sterling’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. The contact surprised her considering she couldn’t recall ever having had a meaningful conversation with him prior to this. She was too jumpy right now to take the casual touch in stride anyway. “You seem happy though, that’s good. Don’t mess this up again. God’s ten plagues will look like a cake-walk if you do.” He pointed up to the sky as though invoking His name would protect him from April’s theoretical wrath.

“Please don’t say-”

“I don’t play games with people’s livelihoods,” Ezekiel said quickly and sincerely. “It’s not a good look, and trust me girl, I know a good look.” He flicked his hand as though he were brushing invisible long hair over his shoulder.

Sterling merely nodded, too dumbstruck by the interaction to come up with anything else. Ezekiel reached next to her and grabbed two grocery bags from the trunk. With a sly wink, he turned and started back towards the group shouting, “Look who brought home the bacon!”

Sterling made it through breakfast just fine. Ellen was pulled between trying to cook everything and check-in with each of her students. Once Luke woke up and joined the group, he stuck by Sterling’s side, so she didn’t feel too uncomfortable. April was playing it extremely cool, but it was obvious to Sterling that she was irked by the sight of Luke and her together. She slapped Ezekiel’s wrist at one point when he reached for more bacon without asking, and he hissed back at her like an angry cat. The sound was so convincing that Hannah B. flinched at the other end of the table.

Sterling checked her phone to hide her poorly suppressed laughter.

Mom:  
_Proud of U 4 taking Fellowship so seriously baby girl! U still have 2 do laundry tho!  
Love, Mom_

Blair:  
_OMG MILES TEXTED ME!!!??? 😳😳😳  
WHEN OUR PHONES WERE TAKEN???  
BECAUSE HE SAW US IN THE PAPER??????  
I’m not answering, we need to workshop this. I will win this breakup if it kills me.  
Also Mom and Dad totally bought it.  
Also also you owe me like x1,000,000  
Also also also how was last night? Need those deets, don’t think you’re getting away without spilling! I wanna hear about the scissoring! 👅💦✂️✂️✂️_

And then the secret chat…

TinyBluePoisonFrog:  
_Meet me at the Van Pugh South boat launch ramp at 10:30AM. Bring whatever you need for a day of swimming._

Sterling wasn’t sure what to expect from that last message, so she answered all of her other texts and started scrambling to be ready. The weather was supposed to beautiful today, sunny and in the high 70s, and the excitement curled within her, charging every step with electricity. She freshened up in the communal restroom and changed into her bathing suit, eventually opting to throw on a cute tank top and jean shorts over it, just to look presentable. One of Blair’s drawstring lacrosse bags that she unearthed in the trunk was perfect to carry a change of clothes and a towel, along with some other necessities. She carefully snuck away from the larger group when the time came, accidentally making eye contact with Ezekiel on her way out. He nodded minutely, and she watched as he called Luke over to him so she could make a clean escape.

Sterling didn’t know what to expect at the boat launch ramp, but it certainly wasn’t what she ended up finding. A distant rumbling grew closer and closer until Sterling spotted April piloting an antique wooden speed boat as close as she could to land without scraping bottom. The boat looked familiar, and Sterling realized with a slight cringe that she’d seen the vessel when she arrested April’s father. April waved Sterling over with urgency as the boat drifted around in neutral, snapping her out of her reverie. Sterling whipped off her flip-flops and made a mad dash through the shallows for the boat, tossing her shoes and bag up and onto the deck. April reached over the side and Sterling grabbed hold of April’s forearm, realizing a little too late that she was about to be hoisted into the boat. She flopped into one of the rear seats with all the grace of an unwanted bycatch, her limbs splayed out around her. April quickly moved back up to the wheel and captained the boat out of the shallows.

Once they were in the clear, April tossed a look back over her shoulder at Sterling, who was still panting in the rear seat. “Still getting your sea legs?”

“I just forgot how strong you are.” Sterling didn’t have the courage to tell her that for the most part her current discombobulated state had less to do with being on a boat and more to do with the fact that April had basically just thrown her around, and that Sterling was really _really_ into it.

April let out a light and easy laugh, the kind that nobody got to hear very often. Sterling almost wished she could make it her ringtone, but scolded herself internally, because that was totally creepy, right? April reached down to her chest where her black Wayfarers were hanging from a lanyard and put them on. Sterling dug her own tortoise shell sunglasses out of her bag and did the same, joining April at the front of the boat. The cream-colored leather seats were extraordinarily comfortable. It was a small vessel, but stunning, every inch of the teak was polished to a blinding shine with the exception of where Sterling had splashed aboard. She wondered briefly how much rainforest had to be destroyed for this boat to be built. Her eyes wandered back to April who was laser-focused on navigating them somewhere, and with increasing speed.

“Where are we going?” she called over the rumbling of the engine.

April pointed at a large land mass in front of them and then gestured around it. “There’s a little beach there. Is that okay with you?” she shouted back.

Sterling nodded dumbly, too busy taking in the girl next to her to do much else. She couldn’t tear her eyes away, watching her hair shine in the sunlight, blowing wildly behind her in the wake of the boat’s speed. April had opted for a similar outfit as she had, and Sterling could see the strings from her bathing suit peek out from underneath her sleeveless blouse. April caught her staring and smiled, it stayed on her face until they got to their destination.

The little peninsular alcove was completely obscured from the view of any of the campsites. It had a little sandy beach with both shady and sunny spots to lay in. April had Sterling hold the wheel while the boat idled, and she skillfully tied off and dropped anchor. Once that was done, she curled an arm around Sterling’s, causing the blonde to twitch in surprise.

“Hey, we’re good now. The anchor’s out, you can let go of the wheel.” April reached across her to turn off the engine further proving her point. She eyeballed a pine tree on the shore, “I’d like to wait an extra minute or two though, just to make sure we’re not drifting anywhere.”

Sterling slowly unclenched her hands from the wheel, they were sweaty, they were always sweaty. She wiped them on her shorts, looking down at the girl on her right. “How do you _know_ all of this stuff? Is this even legal?”

April looked mildly affronted at the insinuation that she would do anything illegal, “I have my Georgia Boater Education Card, Sterl. Knowledge of maritime law is the only way to maintain order out on the open water.”

Sterling just chalked it up to another specifically _April_ thing. Like, _of course_ she would be able to captain a boat. Every time she thought she’d figured April Stevens out there was another curveball. She grabbed April’s hand between them and leaned in for a quick peck. “It’s a beautiful boat by the way, not as beautiful as you, but it’s trying.”

April was matter of fact, “Oh, this is just the tender.”

“What?”

“The tender? It’s the smaller boat we use to get out to where the yacht is moored.”

“The yacht, of course.” It was easy for Sterling to forget sometimes that Willingham operated on different levels of rich. There was money, which everyone had, and then there was ‘fuck you money’ (Yolanda’s words, not hers) which only a few families had. The Stevens family definitely had the latter.

Sterling’s astonished tone went either unnoticed or ignored, “It’s not as maneuverable as this one, and for obvious reasons it can’t come very close to shore. I didn’t want you to have to swim out to me somewhere, even though…” April trailed off briefly before seeming to make some kind of internal decision. She reset her posture with confidence and made deliberately bold eye contact, reaching her free hand up to Sterling’s face. Her index finger trailed, just barely scratching, from behind Sterling’s ear down to where the strap from her bathing suit rested. The taller girl shuddered, goosebumps following in the wake of the movement. April continued her earlier thought, “Even though it would’ve been a nice view.”

Sterling couldn’t string words together. Her whole body was tingling. It was so jarring to transition from April practically ignoring her at breakfast, to now just casually touching her until she melted into a puddle. How was she so good at flirting? It didn’t make any sense. Sterling had been in a relationship for _years_ and never felt this alert from a suggestive intonation. The confidence really did it for her, which is why she felt her stomach drop as she slowly watched it leave April’s face, only to be replaced with shyness.

April’s smallest voice eventually broke the silence as she took a step back, dropping Sterling’s hand, “Was that weird? I probably shouldn’t have…”

But Sterling closed the distance between them again, quickly cupping April’s face with her hand until their eyes met once more, “No, no, no. Exactly the opposite. _Please_ do that every minute of every day for as long as you possibly can.” April let out a breathy laugh and it was the most relieving sound in the world. “I don’t know how you’re so good at this stuff. When you touch me my brain just turns to useless mush.”

“So much for our reputable Willingham educations.”

“Oh, I can think of a few things we still need to learn,” Sterling grinned mischievously and pulled off her tank top and sunglasses. Finally, it was April’s turn to have a mushy brain. “Have we drifted at all?”

April’s eyes were skating across all of the skin that was newly exposed. She looked as though she’d just been whacked in the back of the head, “Huh?”

“Have we drifted at all since you anchored?”

“Oh,” April shook herself out of her daze and stared at a specific pine tree on land for a moment, “No, I think we’re good.”

Sterling let her shorts drop to the deck and stepped out of them, moving to sit on the edge of the boat. She held her drawstring bag over her head to keep it dry, swinging her legs over the side while she called, “Last one to the beach is a heretic!” April only paused for a fraction of a second before springing into action to beat her there.


	18. My House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Inauguration!
> 
> Our girls get the second half of their lake day! It's hot, it's cold, it's panicky, it's comforting. You'll get to see some of my interpretations of the show in here.
> 
> Thank you for reading! If you feel strongly about anything, let me hear it. :)

As it turned out, swimming in early spring wasn’t the most pleasant experience. The water was absolutely freezing without the long months of summer behind them to warm it up. Instead, Sterling and April lay sprawled out on their beach towels, holding hands and soaking the midday sun into their pores. They hadn’t felt the need to fill the silence, but they would sneak glances at one another, and occasionally point out funny looking clouds. For the most part the gentle lapping of the lake waters against the beach was enough sound to enjoy on its own. There was something so liberating about this, and it brought Sterling back to when they’d gone on their second-first date, or first-second date? She still needed to sort out the particulars, but it felt like this moment was a snapshot of what their lives could be, if they chose to share them.

Something about not having to look directly at April for this moment made Sterling braver than she’d ever been before.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Technically you just did,” April shot back. It was snarky, but Sterling could hear the levity in the other girl’s voice.

She continued anyway, “When did you realize you liked me?”

April’s hand stiffened in her grasp. It took a few seconds for Sterling to feel it relax again.

“I’m only answering that question if you do.”

“Okay,” then Sterling waited. An ambitious cloud tried to obscure the sun, but slowly lost the battle.

April broke the silence, “As in, you go first.”

“What? I asked first, I should be answered first,” Sterling reasoned.

“A sound argument, but that’s my condition.”

The curiosity burning within Sterling won out over her own potential embarrassment. They were holding hands on a sandy beach after a long night of some _very_ gratifying _something_ , who really cared about the timing of her bisexual awakening?

“Fine,” she sighed. “I first realized I, you know, _like_ liked you at the semi-quarter regional tournament. You were being open with me about why we weren’t friends, and I just felt drawn to fix it. I wasn’t sure how or why. Then Craig Wu was arguing about how reparations are the only fair way to mend things, and I couldn’t help but think, like, _I_ needed to make reparations to fix this…” she jiggled their joined hands, “ _Us._ You yelled at me and grabbed my arm, and it was like everything just clicked. The, uh, intensity of it… I really liked it. Not because of, like, what it was, well maybe that too, but more just because it was _you_ doing it.”

Sterling was quite content to let that story end there. It was nobody’s business (well maybe April’s, but not today) when or why she masturbated.

April let go of her hand and rolled onto her side, laying on her own arm, to scrutinize her. “You first realized you liked me _when I yelled at you?_ ”

Sterling moved to mirror her position, “Well, yeah.” April grimaced and the action made her squirm with insecurity, “What?”

“That’s just not what I got from that interaction _at all._ ”

“What did you get from it then?”

“It was totally unacceptable to grab you like that! To do it in anger, I mean. There was an _undercurrent_ to it, and it-” She stopped herself mid-thought and started again, “The last thing I needed was some rumor going around about me grabbing girls, or worse, being violent like… like _him_.” April made a disgusted sound and rubbed at her eyes with one hand, “I literally could not get out of that building fast enough.” She took a deep breath as though this confession had weighed on her.

Sterling reached out between them and reconnected their hands with a shy smile. It did nothing to ease the worried look on April’s face. “Hey, I was into it, and you’re not crazy, there was definitely an, uh, undercurrent there. It’s an overcurrent now, a full tidal wave: seawalls can only pray to contain it.”

April smiled and leaned in for a kiss. It was a nice kiss, and Sterling had no issue allowing it to escalate as the brunette moved to close the space between their bodies. Kissing in bathing suits was _different_. Sterling would definitely need to report back to Blair on this discovery. It was like just skipping to the underwear phase of fooling around. But she was supposed to be doing something else, what was it again? April freed her hand from Sterling’s grasp and clutched the skin at her waist. The contact sent her pulse into a frenzy. No, there was something she needed to know. But their lips were moving together so naturally... _Aha!_

Sterling pulled back gasping and was met with a vaguely disheveled April. Her cheeks were flushed, and Sterling was certain it was from more than just the sun.

“You never answered my question!” she accused, pointing her finger right between April’s eyes.

The other girl laughed, retracting her hand from its place on Sterling’s hip, “I almost got away with it too…”

“Let’s hear it then. When did you realize you liked me?”

“It’s complicated,” April hedged.

Sterling just raised a brow, unimpressed, in response.

“Okay, fine. I realized I liked you…” she paused to ponder for a moment, “Probably around the same time you broke up with Luke. Once you started exercising your own agency, I was interested.”

“Wow, really?” Sterling paused for a beat, “Wait, what’s so complicated about that?”

When all April could do was splutter in response, Sterling pressed, “Is it because we used to be close?” As soon as she said it, she regretted it. Pressuring April into anything was impossibly stupid.

“Do you _really_ want to hear any of this?” April’s eyes were uncertain, like she wasn’t used to ever having a captive audience for her inner thoughts. The realization brought Sterling a pang of melancholy.

“I want to hear whatever you feel comfortable sharing.”

April surveyed Sterling for a moment, seeming to test her sincerity. She took a deep breath and began, “I think even when we were little, I was… _drawn_ to you. You were cute then, and you’re beautiful now,” she smiled sheepishly. “Did I _like-like_ you back then though? I’m not sure. Maybe.”

“I hear you. I think I know what you mean with the, uh, _being drawn to you_ stuff. I just remember always wanting you closer.” There was a thoughtful pause, “I wonder if it would’ve been easier if we’d just realized it back then.” Sterling sighed and waved her hand dismissively, “But then you hated me for all those years anyways. It probably wouldn’t’ve mattered.”

April scrunched her brow and balked in such a way that made Sterling question every decision she’d ever made. “I never hated you, Sterl.”

“Then what would you call our many years of blood feuds?”

“Anger, disappointment maybe?” The fire was back in April’s eyes. “It was infuriating to watch you waste _years_ on someone as banal as Luke Creswell. It seemed performative, to me at least, like you were only doing it to fulfill some kind of expectation. You were and, well, still are, this clever, studious, and well-rounded person. You deserved better.”

“Better meaning _you_?”

April propped her head up on her elbow with her hand on her hip and struck a pose like an old-fashioned pin-up girl. “Aren’t I though?” she teased with a smirk.

Sterling took a moment to appreciate the view. She wasn’t used to seeing this much of April, not just in _that_ way. She had to get her head out of the gutter. It was just that April always seemed to be hiding behind a variety of very tall and strong walls when caught in the confines of their insular community. Seeing her like this, free and uninhibited by the expectations of others; it was beautiful. Breathtaking, really.

Sterling finally managed to wipe what she’s sure was a very stupid look off of her face. “Much better.” The distance between them shrunk until they shared a slow kiss.

Sterling pulled back first, “You can talk about your feelings without dragging Luke down, though.”

“Was I wrong?”

“You know that’s not-”

“Was I?” April challenged.

“You made your point, but your argument was fallacious,” Sterling reasoned.

April’s eyes widened, “You’re dissecting my rhetoric?”

“You know ad hominem is not a valid rhetorical strategy.”

“It might be when the hominid in question is from an earlier iteration of man.”

“Luke is much too tall to be an australopithecine, you know this,” Sterling scolded.

“I was going to give him at least Cro-Magnon,” April perked a brow, “Who’s being mean now?”

Sterling sighed, “I will concede that he has some evolving to do.”

“You’re giving up already? That’s no fun.” April was teasing, but she swallowed, and a strange expression crossed her face.

Something about it flip-flopped Sterling’s stomach. “You… you’re, like, _into_ this aren’t you?” she accused with a smirk.

“Into what?” April’s feigned innocence was completely transparent.

“Into debating with me,” Sterling clarified needlessly. They both knew exactly what they were talking about.

The only warning Sterling got was April’s ragged inhale and then she felt soft lips on her own; hungry and insistent. “Of course I’m into it. I’m into _you_ ,” April breathed into her ear before crashing their lips back together. The fingers of her upper arm started scratching circles on Sterling’s thigh. It was dizzying. “It’s not fun when you just roll over,” she added breathlessly before diving back in.

That did it for Sterling’s reservations. If anyone was rolling over, it wasn’t her. She used both hands to firmly push April away from her. The brunette fell back onto her own beach towel, offense strewn across her face, “Hey! What was-”

But April didn’t get to object fully before her body was covered with the warmth of Sterling’s weight and curious hands, and her protests were kissed right out of her mouth. It was like the previous night in the tent, but with the intensity squared, maybe even cubed, because there was nothing between them now, or at least, not very much.

April’s hands clutched her face, but Sterling couldn’t keep hers still, couldn’t help herself from wanting to squeeze, caress, or scratch every bit of April’s form within reach. She drank in every nonverbal response she got, noting when the hands on her face would tense up, or when the lips or tongue on hers would stop moving, as though their owner had forgotten they were supposed to for a moment.

When Sterling’s hands made their way back up to April’s face, she used them to twist her head to the right for better access. Slotting their legs together, she propped herself up with one arm and ducked her head to place soft kisses at the base of April’s neck. When she began sucking lightly, she could feel April squirm against her, seeking friction. The first gentle bite brought out such a loud gasp that Sterling pulled away slightly, but when April’s hands weaved themselves into her hair and yanked her back down, she resumed with gusto. Sterling still couldn’t believe that this was real. Her dizziest daydreams couldn’t have been this optimistic, but here she was, stealing the breath from the girl who too often stole her own.

Sterling slowly worked her way up April’s neck, her free hand still exploring the girl beneath her. The sound of April’s breathing grew more erratic with every inch of progress she made, and she was practically drunk off of it. When she finally reached April’s ear, she nibbled, and with hot breath whispered, “What was that you said about rolling over?” April quickly moved her hands from Sterling’s hair to her back, her nails sinking in almost painfully. They were as close as two people could really be, yet somehow still not close enough.

Sterling placed soft kisses to April’s ear as she waited for a response, but all she heard was “ _Sterling_.” It came out breathy and needy, as though that single utterance was the only thing keeping April tethered to this earth.

And maybe it was.

-

Lunch and dinner were the last pretenses they had to endure; Sterling told herself. As she watched April navigate the waters with ease on their ride back to camp, she had the distinct sensation of having eaten a brick when she realized that she’d have to get used to pretending: a lot.

She was buoyed by remembering that Blair could know about their relationship now, which was crucial for her sanity. Ezekiel was aware too and seemed eager to help in what situational ways he could, that is, if April could let him. And that was the other piece of this that shone like the silver lining of a cloud: April had allowed herself to be vulnerable today. She’d reciprocated her feelings and allowed Sterling to take the lead. Sterling would be touched by it, if she hadn’t already spent a good chunk of their time together literally _being touched by it._

It was getting easier to be optimistic when the breeze was running through her hair, the light finally touching her relationship, her sunglasses blocking any mist that sprayed over the bow. Still relatively far from shore, April checked the time, eased off of the throttle, and slowed the boat. The protests of the engine now low enough to speak over, she turned her head to look over at her passenger. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Sterling smiled widely, “Why’d you slow down?”

April leaned over and clasped Sterling’s hand across the aisle, giving it a quick squeeze before leaning back into her seat. “I guess I just wanted a little more time,” she offered with a somber smile. The gentle breeze blew a few tendrils of hair across her face.

“I know what you mean.” It was all Sterling could come up with, and she was sure that her face must have had the same expression on it. “This was a _really_ good idea though, April.”

April took a deep breath before getting serious, “With everything that’s gone on, I – I can’t bring you over to my house or anything.” She settled into herself for a beat. “The thought was that for this weekend, it would be nice to bring it to you.”

“What a great thought! Love that thought!” Sterling couldn’t contain her enthusiasm. “I think this is my best day ever, and I’m right in the middle of it, with you.” She reached her fist out to knock on some of the boat’s teak. “Don’t want to jinx it though,” she added with a grin.

April’s face settling into the crooked smile that Sterling loved best. “I think it might be my best day ever too,” she said, laughing as she too reached to knock on some wood.

-

As Fellowship leader, April had arranged for a pre-paid ice cream truck to come and serve the whole group for lunch. Seeing Luke eat ice cream just reminded Sterling of everything wrong with the phrase _peanut butter lumberjack_ and watching April eat ice cream just reminded her of everything wrong with the concept of chastity. That’s how she found herself alone at one of the picnic benches, watching the afternoon sun dance over the waves of boat wake on the lake. She opted to call Blair, who picked up after one ring.

“It’s about goddamned time, Sterl!”

“Language!”

“Sorry, not sorry. I’ve been on tenterhooks to hear about your boning.”

Sterling laughed, “On tenterhooks? What is this, 1940?”

“Yeah, well, Big Daddy said it when they visited today. I was hoping we could bring it back.”

“Seems like it would bring _us_ back more than we could bring _it_ here.”

Blair was unamused, “Ha-ha very funny. Now tell me about your little gay ladies night. _Glaydies_ night?”

“Another swing and a miss. You’re really off your game.”

“Oh my God! I pick up a call from my sister, who I love, and I get roasted?” Sterling rolled her eyes, relieved that Blair couldn’t see it. “I just _felt_ you roll your eyes at me.”

“So how was-”

“Stop pretending that you care about my day and tell me what happened! I’m living vicariously through you!”

Sterling lowered her voice to a whisper, “Blair, I’m still at the group lunch…” She looked around her and saw April staring, who, when she realized she was caught, quickly busied herself with clean-up.

“Ooh, okay then. I’ll only ask questions with generic answers. Mad Lib it.”

“Mad Libs, got it.”

“Did you bone?”

“Still not a hundred percent sure what that means, but no. At least, I don’t think so.”

“Did you… get off?”

“…Yeah.”

“Ah! Fuck yes! It’s what you deserve!” Blair’s voice was loud enough that Sterling worried briefly about her parents overhearing on the other end.

“I know right? It was awesome,” Sterling couldn’t keep the smugness out of her voice.

“Okay, okay. Did _she_ get off?”

“Oh totally,” Sterling said, then cupped the bottom of her phone and whispered, “Today too!”

“So if you didn’t _bone_ how did you…?”

“Blair, I’m in public!” Sterling whispered harshly.

“Oh, right. Mad Libs. Uh, was it like…hands?”

“No, not that…”

“Did you dry hump?”

Sterling giggled at the phrasing, “I’m not sure there was very much _dry_ about it.”

Blair took a breath and her voice got tight all of a sudden, “I’m just so proud of you and your horny little spirit. You’ve come so far.”

“Literally.”

The cackle at the other end of the phone was so loud that Sterling had to turn the volume down on the call. “I guess we did owe her one, especially since she totally saved our asses from financial ruin. Did you, like, clear the air with her about telling Mom and Dad yet?”

“Uh…”

“You haven’t talked about the lawsuit Sterl? What’ve you been doing this whole time?”

“Did I mention it was twice?”

“Ugh. I mean, fair, but still. You need to run this by her.”

“Since when do you care about how she feels?” Sterling prickled.

“I’d like to think we’ve reached an understanding.”

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

Blair sighed, “That we both want what’s best for you-”

Sterling interrupted, “Aww!”

“-and for John Stevens to sit on a rusty nail and twist.”

“Woah, that got graphic pretty quick.”

“Yeah well, if the nail fits…”

Sterling really needed to get away from that mental image. “Moving on.”

“We’re not moving on until you get April’s approval.”

“Okay okay. I will. Are you happy?”

“Jazzed.”

“Is that another Big Daddy-ism?”

“Let me live!”

“Fine, you may live. Did you…hmm…”

“What Sterl?”

“Did you wanna talk about Miles?”

“Ooo! Yes! Okay, so he sent me a picture of the news article. Obviously, we both look _fabulous._ ”

“What else did he say?”

“He, uh, he asked if that had anything to do with why I was always sketchy when we were together.”

“Oh. So he basically figured it out.”

“Basically.”

“You can tell him the truth if you want Blair: if you think he’s, like, trustworthy. I’ve already broken that twin swear so…”

“I was thinking… Maybe he and I could meet up? Something noncommittal, like coffee, but not coffee, because coffee is gross.”

“So gross.”

“What do you think?” It was a simple enough question, but Sterling could hear the vulnerability in Blair’s voice. She was always doing this, teetering the line between what she thought would be cool and what she actually wanted.

“Honestly?”

“Honestly.”

“I think if you do that, you should sort of go in knowing what you’re hoping to get out of it. Does that make sense?”

There was a beat as Blair thought. “Tons of sense. I’ll think on it.”

“Love you Blair.”

“Love you more than air.”

“Nice rhyme.”

Blair snickered, “I’ll leave you to your boo then. See you later.”

“See ya!”

-

The group stayed together for the rest of the afternoon. April and Sterling seemed to have developed some kind of unspoken understanding: one getaway was subtle, but two would be obvious. Instead, they participated in group prayer, and separately helped set up for the big bonfire later that night. Sterling was still riding the high of how wonderfully everything had turned around for her. It was about time God gave her a break. She even still got a few snorting laughs in trying to catch various pieces of Chex mix in her mouth alongside Luke. She had a decent streak going for a while at one point. Hannah B. even made an effort to spend some time with her, which was strange but not exactly unwelcome. The French braid she got while listening to her talk about guitar was really nice.

As the sky shifted from its idyllic blue to a more striking array of pinks and purples, she only wished she could share it with April. Everyone was great, even Ellen sat with her little group for a little while to check in, but it was a poor replacement for what she really wanted. Sneaky glances just piled onto the feeling. She was like an addict needing a fix, and it only got worse the darker the scene became.

By the time night had fully descended and the bonfire was lit, the air might as well have been ionic. April was acting like a caged animal. She would stalk around the fire, steal a glance at Sterling, then bite her lip, then shake herself out of it, then poke the fire, sneak another glance. There must’ve been some kind of line in the sand, because when she started slowly eating a s’more while maintaining eye contact, Ezekiel pinched her in the bicep hard enough for her to yelp out in pain.

At least Sterling knew she was handling this better, or at least she thought she was, before she realized that for her to notice all of April’s behavior, she had to have been staring the entire time. _Great._ She felt like she could shock someone else with a poke just from all of the excess electricity coursing through her, between them. She had to do _something_ before she left.

SilverOne:  
_Going to forget my water bottle in ten minutes._

The bright flames and their silent rebellion against night reflected on the faces of everyone around her. Sterling stared as the orange color shone on April’s face. She watched in a trance as April pulled her phone out and the colors got to shine on her slow smile too.

Sterling got up and all but ran to camp.

Later, as Sterling heard the crunch of gravel by April’s car she stood and held her arms up. April practically sprinted into them, nuzzling her nose into the crook of Sterling’s neck and clinging to the back of her shirt as though they were skydiving with only one parachute. Sterling closed her eyes and just breathed it in, the faint aroma of the pines around them, something floral in the shorter girl’s hair, and of course the essence of what was unmistakably just April herself. Based on the breaths she could feel on her neck, April was doing the same thing.

“This isn’t going to be easy,” April mumbled into her neck.

“Hmm?”

A tiny voice returned, “I missed you already.”

Sterling could only respond by squeezing tighter, by trying to erase any thought of missing her with the sheer force of her embrace and stubborn will. It was safe there, comfortable, so they stood wrapped in one another for quite a while, the world around them turning slowly with each second.

Eventually Sterling pulled back enough to kiss the top of April’s ponytail. “Can we talk for a bit before I go?”

April pulled away until her wide eyes could meet Sterling’s. She nodded and grabbed the taller girl’s hand, pulling her towards the tent. They both kicked their shoes off and shuffled inside, and April placed her phone into the bug mesh with the flashlight on, so the whole tent was set aglow.

They sat close, cross-legged but facing one another. Sterling held April’s left hand in both of hers, fidgeting with the ring there like she’d watched April do a thousand times. April’s eyes were glued to her face, patiently studying her as she danced around saying what they both knew needed to be said.

Sterling’s voice came out just above a whisper, “April.” Her voice cracked and she started again, “Today was… everything. And I know it’s just been one good day so far, but it just feels like we could have so many more, you know?” She lifted her head so their eyes could meet. “I’m really serious about this. About us.”

April squeezed her left hand around Sterling’s, “Me too, Sterl. It…” she took a deep breath that seemed to move her whole body with it. “It scares me sometimes, a lot of the time actually. There are just so many moving parts that have to be working together in just the right way for all of this to work.” She took a thoughtful pause, “But I want to try because I think we can really do it.”

Sterling’s answering smile could’ve lit up the tent all on its own. “I _know_ we can.” April smirked back, the faint pink that Sterling loved returning to her cheeks.

April offered her other hand to hold both of Sterling’s, like one hand’s worth of contact wasn’t quite enough. “I assume you were on the phone with Blair earlier,” she stated in an uncharacteristically shy voice. “What did she have to say?”

“Ah, that’s… That’s the moving part of this that I’ve been avoiding.”

“That bad?”

“No, not with you!” Sterling said quickly. “Not, like, about us. She says you two understand each other now, or something.” When April only hummed in response, Sterling added, “Is that… how it is?”

April’s brow set low, “Blair told your family about the security video, I assume. So no, not really.”

“No, ohmygosh, no. April, she just told _me._ ” April seemed to consider this for a moment, her expression brightening as she glanced around the tent. Sterling continued, “We need to tell them though. She wanted your blessing before we did, that’s what the call was for.”

April’s face fell again. “You know about my family. If they find out about this…”

“I won’t tell them about us! I don’t even have to tell them about you burning anything.” April cringed hearing her own dangerous choices repeated back to her. “I can just say, like, ‘April told me there’s no evidence.’ They trust me enough to move ahead with just that.”

April was incredulous, “They do?”

“Yeah, of course. Well, that and they owe me.”

“Right, so what’s your answer when they ask why I’d suddenly turncoat for you?”

“That we’re friends,” Sterling shrugged like it was the most obvious answer in the world. “They know we did that project together, and that you dropped me off after school that day. No problemo.”

April looked away to study the ground for a moment. The change in mood didn’t feel like ‘no problemo’ it felt like a _big_ problemo, ‘muchos problemas’, Sterling thought bitterly.

“Sterl…” April grumbled. It was edging on a growl, a response to her flippant answer, she could tell.

Sterling reached her hand up to April’s face, gently guiding her chin up, her face out of its hardened pose. “Do you trust me?” She dropped her hand back into April’s lap.

The eyes she saw were wide, but cold, “I certainly want to.”

“Then do it. Please? My parents really owe me one here, they’re not going to blow this up.”

The bite returned to April’s voice, her walls seeming to quickly reconstruct themselves at the mere suggestion of throwing her future into jeopardy for this moment. “What could your parents _possibly_ owe you that would be enough to keep _me_ safe Sterling?”

“It’s the twin thing, you know?”

“The twin thing!?” she was almost yelling, “So I’m supposed to be okay with you practically outing me to _your parents_ because of some bullshit with Blair? That’s not good enough to trade for my safety!”

Sterling retreated into herself, withdrawing her hands. “It’s more than that,” she said quietly.

“How am I supposed to trust you when you can’t even say it!?”

Maybe it was the day. Maybe it was how deeply Sterling could feel the fear beneath April’s anger. Maybe it was because April had made a really good point. Maybe she just needed her to know.

“My birth mother kidnapped me!” she blurted out, before quickly covering her mouth with both hands. It was the first time she’d ever said that out loud.

April froze, looking horrified, “ _What?_ ”

Everything seemed to occur in some alternate timeline then, a slower one. Sterling felt them on her hands before she could register their emergence. Tears. The water that leaked out of her eyes whenever she thought about that night, the night she’d carefully packed away into a very small and dusty corner of her mind. She quickly wiped them away with shaking hands, but more kept coming. No. She wasn’t ready for this. This would ruin everything between them. She couldn’t. The water kept falling from her eyes, unbidden, and unwanted.

Sterling lay and curled into herself, tried to shoo them away, but the water kept coming. The breaths were getting harder and harder to draw, until the air she needed only barely rattled into her lungs. It was getting darker, worsening. Her need for air became loud sobbing gasps. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block all of it out.

Sterling could practically smell the stale cigarettes, almost feel the bindings on her wrists, see the gun being waved in her face. Here she was again having to relive the most terrifying moments of her existence, having to conceptualize the horrid life she would’ve had if only a few things had gone differently, having to beg April to stay.

But no. Because she could hear the opposite.

“You’re safe now Sterling.”

She could feel warm steady hands in hers.

“It’ll be over soon.”

A gentle pet of her head.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re not alone. I’m here. Let’s breathe, can you breathe with me?”

The sound of a steadily inhaled breath reached her ears.

Her own sounded wild, it stuttered and quivered as it went, her diaphragm spasming from the terror.

“That was good, let’s try again. Ready?”

Sterling tried her best to match the strong guiding breaths that she heard.

She was getting better at it with every attempt.

After five of them she opened her eyes.

April was laying on her side in front of her, holding both of her hands, and watching her face carefully.

“I’m right here, Sterl. It’s almost over.”

Sterling offered a shaky nod and continued to focus on her breathing until it evened out. The tears slowed, then stopped. She wiped their remnants away, quickly returning her shaky hands to her steadier counterpart.

Her body now calm, she choked out, “What the f - fuck was that?”

April’s voice was low and soothing, “Hey, hey. You’re okay. You just had a panic attack, but it’s over now.”

“How do you know?”

“Not my first rodeo,” she said dryly. “Do you want to try sitting up?”

Sterling nodded, and strong hands guided her until she could prop her elbows on her knees.

“How are you feeling now?”

“Better. Much better.”

A water bottle was carefully handed to her, “Drink some water, it might help you get over that last little bump.”

So, she did, and it did.

April mirrored her seated position, her eyes still full of worry. “Sterling I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I never should’ve-”

“You stayed. You fixed it.” Sterling observed.

“Of course I stayed. I’ve got you.”

“I’ve got you too,” Sterling offered sincerely. “Hopefully that’s a specific favor I never have to repay.”

April relaxed then, hearing the blonde make a bad joke. She smiled and gave a pitying chuckle regardless. “Exactly how many Wesleys am I going to have nurse out of some kind of… _state_ this weekend?”

Sterling’s gaze shot up, “Blair was in a state?”

April nodded, “Blair was in a state.”

“Let’s shoot for no more than two,” Sterling joked, grabbing April’s hand.

“Let’s.”

“I – I’m starting therapy soon,” Sterling was nervous to admit. She broke their hold and took a moment to fidget with her braid, curling a loose tendril of hair behind her ear. “Asked my parents to arrange it. It’s just too much to, like, shove down. I can’t do it anymore.” They moved simultaneously to hold hands again.

April’s eyes were soft but distant, “That’s really brave of you.”

In the silence that followed, April lifted their joined hands to her lips and kissed the back of Sterling’s.

“Your parents…” she breathed, looking down before meeting Sterling’s eyes again. “You can tell them whatever you need, okay?”

Sterling was flabbergasted, “A – Are you sure? April, I’m still not going to-”

“I know,” she squeezed the hand in hers, “I’m just trying to have a little faith.”

“Faith, huh? Okay, faith is good.”

“Besides,” she grimaced, “you can’t really argue with a panic attack.”


	19. It Is What It Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really dragged ass on this chapter, mostly because I was trying to write an outcome that I didn't truly want to see. When you read the second scene, I think you'll notice that I gave up on that entirely and instead just wrote what made sense for the characters and their respective growths at this point in the story.
> 
> I never thought in a million years when I started writing this that it would be clicked on over 14,000 times. That is mind-boggling to me. It's even a little hard to go back and read the first chapters because it's obvious that the writing started a little rough, but we're all here for growth, right?
> 
> I love this silly, creative, kind, and unique fandom with my entire crooked heart.  
> Thank you for your patience, thank you for your support, and thank you, as always, for reading.

Blair was just barely suppressing, well, _something._ Whether that something was an audible groan or a sharp elbow to her sister’s ribcage remained to be seen. This was supposed to be a house of the Lord, a place for quiet worship and terrible guitar playing, not a place for Sterling to be undressing another parishioner with her eyes in the middle of the homily. It wouldn’t be _that_ bad, but the Stevens’s pew was almost directly across from theirs, so Sterling’s head was at a ridiculous angle to make this work. Blair cleared her throat, but the glaze that had settled over Sterling’s eyes remained unchanged. _Elbow it is then!_

Sterling took a sharp breath and grabbed her side, meeting Blair’s eyes for a twin moment. “Okay, ouch! What gives?”

“What gives? I, your sister, give you my bony-ass elbow to interrupt your gay fantasies.”

“Oh, come on, it wasn’t that obvious.”

“It was _unbelievably_ obvious. She’s not even looking back Sterl, if you keep this up, Mr. Stevens is going to notice.” Blair could not understand how Sterling was suddenly so unconcerned about April’s parentage.

“You’re not wrong, but-”

“But what?”

“I can just… she…” Sterling took a second to recollect her thoughts, “That _dress._ ”

Blair chanced a glance past her sister to the Stevens’ pew, April was wearing a bright floral dress with a very flattering cut to it. She returned her attention to her sister, “Okay, fair. Her boobs look great in that dress.”

Sterling looked scandalized, “Blair, _what_?”

“I’m trying to be _supportive_ Sterl. Besides, I show off my assets enough to recognize when someone else is doing it.”

“Exactly, so can I just...?” Sterling turned back to look but was quickly elbowed again by Blair.

Twin moment now broken, Blair hissed out, “Keep your eyeballs in your head!” Apparently, it wasn’t quiet enough because Debbie quickly shushed the two of them, and April looked over with a half-smile.

Unfortunately, the shorter girl’s movement caught someone else’s attention, and before Blair could register the chain of events, the cold brown eyes of John Stevens were shooting daggers at her and her sister. _Yikes._ Blair narrowed her eyes, refusing to back down from the glare, and put a supportive arm around Sterling’s shoulder. The stare down continued until John leaned down to whisper something to April, who jolted into a stiffened pose, no longer daring to look to her left.

This was going to be a long day.

-

Why had Blair convinced herself that this was a good idea? She was sitting alone at Urban Grind, drumming her fingers and waiting. She’d at least had the foresight to choose the chair facing the door, so she didn’t look as neurotic as she felt by glancing at it multiple times per second.

At least she knew she looked good. Her eyeliner was sharp enough to kill a man. Sterling had patiently sat with her while she rejected every article of clothing in her closet until she collapsed onto her bed in frustration. Only then did her wonderfully angelic sister rise, pluck a top from the pile and hold it up announcing, “This one will destroy him.” Suffice to say, despite Blair sitting at this table very much alone, _the girls were out._

Sterling must’ve been onto something there, because when Miles finally entered the coffee shop, he appeared to choke a bit upon seeing Blair. He managed to course correct relatively quickly though, his face settling into an easy smile as he loped over to stand next to the table. He looked _good_ , like, _really_ good. He wore jeans and a short sleeve patterned shirt that was unbuttoned, his layered necklaces draping over the tight V-neck beneath it. Blair could remember exactly what he looked like underneath, her eyes focusing on the collarbones that she used to-

“Hey Blair.”

“Hey Miles.”

He jerked a thumb towards the counter behind him, “Do you know what you want?”

“Oh, uh, that’s okay,” Blair started to rise from her seat to join him.

“No, no, this was my idea, I’ve got this,” he offered, gently resting a hand on her shoulder. His thumb settled at the juncture of her neck and she desperately hoped he couldn’t feel her pulse hammering.

She practically fell back into her seat to escape his touch, “A turtle mocha please.”

He nodded and walked towards the counter, leaving her with her thoughts.

It was so much easier to dismiss Miles when he was just a name scrolling across the screen of her phone. She knew she didn’t want to be anyone’s secret, and it was easy to put all of this _stuff_ away when she could pin the blame on him like that. But if she were honest herself, really honest with herself, Miles deserved better than what she gave him when they were together. He didn’t tell his parents about dating her, and that was a shitty move, but it’s not like he even knew where she really was half of the time. She’d lied to him, a lot.

He was here now though, and his thumb had grazed her neck, and suddenly she felt like she might need both hands to hold the drink he was going to bring her, just so her shaking grasp wouldn’t spill it. When he did return with her drink, she did exactly that, and she watched him make a mental note of it.

They settled into a light conversation. After Miles’s metalworks project had been well-received at the museum, he’d been continuing to focus on that. A gallery had offered to show his work afterwards, so he was channeling all of his “post-breakup energy” (his words) into a series of smaller pieces that could be sold there. He was still parking cars at the club, but any free time he had was spent phone-banking or passing out flyers for his mom’s campaign. Blair couldn’t be sure, but she suspected that all of this information was intended to hint to her that he was single.

When the conversation came around to her, she hesitated to divulge some of the more serious things that had transpired in her life since they’d stopped seeing each other. Instead, she talked about lacrosse, Sterling, and helping out more with Fellowship.

Sensing her avoidance, Miles pressed the point. “What was up with that newspaper article then? Suddenly you rope criminals like some kind of comic book character?”

Blair took a long sip from her glorified milkshake, “Nothing sudden about it.”

Miles leaned towards her, elbows on the table, “Hold up. What exactly are you saying?”

Was this the moment? Was she going to tell him? He certainly deserved some explanation for how badly she’d screwed up their relationship.

It was decided then.

Blair leaned in and rested an elbow on the counter, her hand cradling her neck, “Can you keep a secret?”

He nodded.

“I’m really serious about this. There’s… litigation involved. Nobody can know.”

“Litigation?” his eyes widened. “Is this trouble? Because I told you, I can’t be involved in that stuff.”

Blair quickly interjected, “No trouble. Promise.”

“Real talk?”

“Real talk. Can I trust you with this?”

“Blair, you know you can.”

She took a breath and straightened up in her seat, “I feel like I owe you this, the explanation, I mean. I wasn’t a particularly good girlfriend to you when we were together, mostly because I was being pulled in a lot of different directions. It’s all gone to shit now, but before I get into it, I just want to say that I’m sorry for that.”

“I appreciate you saying that. We did this already though, over text, the whole ‘smoothing things over’ business,” he made air quotes with his hands as he said it.

Blair rolled her lips nervously, “And…?”

“And it’s smooth, it’s been smooth,” he said easily, his tentative smile making Blair’s heart throb. “Now what was going on?”

She took a calming breath. “Well, the newspaper thing, stopping the robbery… That wasn’t new to us, really, Sterl and I.” Miles looked puzzled, so she continued. “I really did work at a yogurt shop, that was true. It’s just that… most of the time I wasn’t really serving yogurt.”

His face was a mixture of interest and concern, “What exactly are you saying then?”

“I’m saying that Sterling and I used to spend a lot of time catching people who skipped bail for easy money.”

“So you were… bounty hunters? Is that what they call that?”

“Yeah.”

“And now you’re not because of… litigation?”

“Yup.”

“Huh, I…” his face went through an entire reel of emotions. “So you flaking on me was…?”

“A fail at work-life balance,” she let out a breathy laugh. “When we had a lead, we had to drop everything and go.” Now that the truth was on the table, she couldn’t stop the explanations from pouring out. “I never meant to flake out on you so much, the last time we, you know, went out, I was undercover, literally wearing too many hats.”

“Huh. So that really bad bruise on your arm…” he gestured to his right forearm; his eyes remembering a different time.

She sipped her drink and casually said, “A meth dealer threw a wrench at me.”

Miles’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head, “Blair why didn’t you _tell_ me?”

“I couldn’t! None of that shit was even _kind of_ legal, like, even a little bit. Sterling and I swore that we wouldn’t say anything to anyone.”

Miles scrubbed his hands through his hair in frustration, “I don’t get it. Why tell me this now then?”

“It’s all over anyway, the bounty hunting I mean, and you reached out. I guess if I were you, I’d want to know the truth.”

He settled for a minute, thinking. “I can respect that.”

The tension of the reveal dissipated and was slowly replaced with a more familiar type of tension. Blair attempted to stave it off by picking up her drink and chugging it, trying to ignore how it felt to have Miles’s eyes on her again. She couldn’t dance around it forever though. She slammed her now-empty drink down, and propped her elbow on the table, resting her chin on her fist and eyeing her company.

She pulled no punches.

“Why’d you really ask me to hang out today Miles?”

His expression softened, and he reached for her free hand, clasping it in both of his. “My mom was the one who found that newspaper article. She reads, who even knows how many thousands of words a day, but she saw your picture and recognized you from when you busted into our dining room.”

Blair blushed, pausing to scratch the side of her neck in discomfort with her free hand.

Miles continued, “She thought that what you did was brave, and got into my business a bit, talking about, ‘Why would you let a girl like that go?’ And I started thinking, like, maybe I _was_ stupid to let you go, especially if all your running around was because of something like that.”

It was everything that Blair had wanted to hear right after the break-up. It was everything that Blair had wanted to hear during the Wesley family meltdown. It was everything that Blair had wanted to hear when she’d stormed into the senator’s house and demanded to speak to Miles. But here, in Urban Grind, on a Sunday afternoon after everything she’d been through since? She didn’t think she’d ever wanted to hear anything less.

All Blair had wished when they were together was for Miles to know her big secret, for him to understand all of the ins and outs of her life. She’d craved his approval in a strange way, and in the aftermath, she’d wanted his mother’s approval. She was, after all, still the daughter of white Republicans, and that hadn’t changed, no matter how many times she debated with her dad about Planned Parenthood.

She just couldn’t shake the feeling that she didn’t want or need Miles’s assent anymore. She didn’t need anyone’s rubber stamp, actually. This time spent apart was something huge for her. Trying to return to that previous mental space felt like a crab trying to fit back into the shell it had already molted. The fact that his whole decision-making process was spurred by… meeting his mother’s standard? It made him seem small to her, like he was the shell that she’d outgrown over this time. Even if the sex in that shell was, like, rad.

Even worse, it sounded like he hadn’t even wanted her back on his own. His mother had to nudge him before he considered the idea. As she reasoned through all of the arguments in her head, something in her shifted from hesitant to mildly repulsed.

She withdrew her hand from both of his and looked up at him.

“I really don’t think we’re on the same page then.”

-

Blair was perched on the edge of Sterling’s bed in her comfiest sweats. Her sister sat crisscross next to her in an expensive pair of pajamas, her eyes watching Blair’s face intently as she held the phone to her ear.

“Basically Bowsie, just act surprised when they call you okay?”

Grumbling could be heard on the other end of the line. “Who do you kids think I am, Sidney Poitier?”

Blair rolled her eyes, “You don’t need to win an Oscar, just _try._ ”

“I swear I’ve had enough of this white nonsense to last a lifetime.”

“This isn’t white nonsense, well, maybe it is, but we’re trusting you with this.”

Bowser seemed to consider this sincerely for a moment, “I know, I know. If it spares me insurance headaches, it’s for the best. But y’all ain’t grounded forever, and there’s yogurt to be served up in here. Get over here next weekend please and bring the blonde one with you.”

“Okay, I can do that. Sorry, _we_ can do that.”

“Damn straight you can do it, _you_ work for _me_.”

“You got it. Okay, bye Bowsie! Miss you!” Blair ended the call.

Sterling leaned towards Blair with interest, “Well…?”

Blair sighed, “Bowser says now that we’re not grounded anymore, he wants us back at the shop. Like to actually serve yogurt. Can you believe that? Such a waste!”

“Wait really? That’s actually kinda great, that way I can afford to take April out sometimes,” Sterling mused, her eyes taking on the starry look they always did whenever a small Stevens was mentioned.

“Harold…” Blair trailed off, suppressing a smile.

“They’re lesbians!” Sterling finished the meme, laughing so fully that her whole body shook. “I mean, like half of us is.”

If someone had asked Blair a few months ago if she’d ever see her sister’s eyes shine like that again, she probably would’ve slapped them. Seeing her sister, her whole family really, be light again… God she was getting soft.

She rolled her eyes, “I know Sterl.”

“It’s just that we should respect April’s ability to identify in that way without co-opting her label for my own ease of use.”

“ _I know_ Sterl. _I_ sent you that article, remember?”

Sterling put her fingers to her chin and stared off into the distance, “Oh yeah…”

“Focus up! We’ve got the family meeting to deal with!” Blair flicked her phone out again, “Like now. Let’s go.”

By the time the girls made their way to the living room, both of their parents were seated on the couch. Neither was fully rested into the furniture, they perched, as though they may need to flee the scene at a moment’s notice. The dim lamplight set the room into a strange scene, the tension palpable in every long shadow.

Blair stood to address the group while Sterling sat on a lounge chair hugging her knees. “You’re probably wondering why I’ve gathered you all here…” she began ominously.

Sterling rolled her eyes and groaned.

Debbie cut in, “Really Blair, if you’re going to call a family meeting like this there needs to be something-”

“Oh, there’s _something_ alright.”

“Well then let’s get to it then, huh?” Anderson urged. He was fidgeting with his hands.

Blair scrunched her brow for a moment. Why couldn’t anyone ever just let her have a moment? _Sheesh._ “Okay, so basically, this is about the lawsuit. Sterling and I have come into some information, and we think it should change the way we’re doing this thing. But first-”

“You’re serious?” Debbie interrupted.

“Very serious, extremely very serious,” Sterling chimed in.

Blair cleared her throat, “We found this out in an… unconventional way, and we don’t want this whistleblower to be penalized for their help.”

“Blair this isn’t the Snowden trial, nobody’ll be forced to hide in Russia,” Anderson joked, but his jaw was tense.

Blair shot back, “I hope not! Russia’s a terrible place to be g-”

“Aaaaaanyway!” Sterling interrupted, shooting her sister a scathing look, “Long story short, we have it from a reputable source that there’s no actual evidence against us.”

Blair continued, “Yeah, so based on our _severely_ underqualified Googling, we think we should deny all of the charges.”

Debbie and Anderson looked at each other in silence for a long time.

Debbie puffed herself up to proper posture. “Listen girls, I think it’s just… _great_ that you’re trying to help with the lawsuit, but this is serious business that could impact us for years to come. So, unless y’all can fill us in on some of the background for this, I’m afraid your father and I just can’t gamble it on faith.”

Blair narrowed her eyes for a few seconds before perching on the arm of the chair in which Sterling was sitting. She crossed her arms, “Okay, so what exactly would you need to know for you to, like, change directions?”

Chloe’s collar jingled as she entered from the kitchen and sat at Blair’s feet.

Anderson ran his fingers along his lips as he thought through it. Debbie just crossed her legs and watched him. Clearly neither of them expected this meeting to become so transactional. After a moment of eye contact between them their father began, “I think your mother and I would need a ‘because.’ We want to listen to you, we will hear you, and we are prepared to move forward, but we really need a reasoning here. How do you know this?”

Nobody spoke. Sterling and Blair looked at each other and nodded. They joined hands for a quick squeeze.

Blair took a deep breath, “On Friday night at the lake I talked to April for a long time, you know, April Stevens.” Debbie audibly gasped, and Blair put her hands out defensively, “No no. Let me finish. Her father is, well, let’s just say that she’s not his biggest fan. There was evidence against us, but she… she got rid of it.”

Anderson asked, “What kind of evidence?”

At the same time Debbie blurted, “Why would she do that?”

Blair didn’t quite know where to start, but she was so _so_ glad that they were actually listening. “Uh, well, let’s get those ‘Q’s one at a time, I guess. It was a security tape of the night of the arrest.”

Anderson shot back, “And how do you know there aren’t other copies?”

Blair shrugged and looked down at Sterling, who uncurled herself into a more normal sitting position. “She was using the lake house security laptop for schoolwork after her other one went-” she blew a raspberry and raised a thumbs down. “She didn’t want to save over anything important, so she swapped in a new hard drive. When her dad came back and started asking for the laptop, she just… didn’t tell him about the old drive.”

“And where is the hard drive now?” Debbie pressed.

Blair expected to be questioned, but she didn’t quite anticipate being _grilled_ like this. _Jeez._ “I watched it melt in the Fellowship bonfire. Pretty badass if you ask me.”

“Language!” Debbie scolded.

“Pretty _cool,”_ Blair amended with an eyeroll.

Anderson piped up, “Your mother’s got a point.” When Blair glared at him, he fumbled on, “I don’t mean about that, not that that’s not important. Why would the Stevens girl do all this? I totally get being angry with your family, believe me I do, but to turn your back? How do we know this story is even true? We’d be taking her at her word, girls. That’s a big risk.”

 _Because she’s a huge lesbian packed into a tiny body and is completely ass-over-head in love with my sister._ Clearly that was an unacceptable answer. Blair knew they were toeing the line here. If the goal was to not out April, this is where it was most critical. There was a new approach though, one she hadn’t fully considered before now; a way to misdirect the intention. She had to try.

“I really don’t think we were ever meant to find out Dad. I kinda caught her in the act, and she had to be cornered into explaining. She was a bit of a wreck really, saying how she wouldn’t be safe if this got out. Look, I don’t know, uh, what her home life is like, but it’s probably not great. Like if her dad got violent with a stranger, it’s not looking good for…” Blair looked down at Sterling, who seemed to be desperately trying to suppress tears. Only April could really speak to what went on in her house, but it wasn’t a stretch to imagine something unpleasant. Blair cleared her throat, “I’m under the impression that she’d, uh, rather see Mr. Stevens lose, and us winning is just, like, a pleasant side-effect.”

Anderson broke the tension, clearly uncomfortable with the sticky situation at hand, “Well that’s just, uh, well, it’s terrible. I can’t really say I blame her very much. We’ll talk to Mr. Clark about this and, oh sugar, we’ll probably have to give Mr. Simmons a call too, huh honey?”

Blair was relieved, so entirely and fully relieved. They’d listened, they’d actually listened, and maybe now this whole fucking deluded, nightmarish, upside-down world they’d been living in could finally be flipped back onto its belly.

Debbie nodded and grabbed their dad’s hand. “Sounds like a plan,” she flashed a well-practiced somber smile. “I’ll keep the Stevens girl in my prayers, though I sure hope that house is peaceful. We haven’t spent much time around her parents since y’all were little. April was a tiny little thing back then, probably still is.” She stared wistfully in the distance for a moment, before focusing in on Sterling, “Y’all were thick as thieves back then, but I thought you’d fallen out?”

“We did, yeah, drifted apart for a while there, I guess,” Sterling answered, her voice a little shaky.

Debbie’s gaze was piercing, “And now?”

“Now, you know, with Forensics, and Fellowship, and she’s basically in all my classes, I guess it just, uh, made more sense to be friends again,” Sterling offered.

Blair came in with the assist, “You know how these nerds are,” she shook Sterling’s shoulder congenially, “totally into Jesus and debating and foreign films. There’s just no keeping up with the two of them.”

“No,” Debbie tilted her head, seeming to fully regard Sterling, “No, I’ll bet there isn’t.”


End file.
